I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
First of all dont tell your coworkers shit. It almost always becomes ammo for them later.
Definitely take advantage of every state program you can. You paid for it already. People talkin shit are fuckin smoothbrained trogs
I came into this thread thinking I’d just post “Uhh, it was pretty nice?”
Then I read the post text. Jesus fuck.
The other comments are probably right, no real point in doing anything but ignoring them. But goddamn, my first instinct would be to try and call them out on that bullshit attitude. No way am I clever enough to do it effectively, though.
Those first few months, especially with your first kid… man. The sleep deprivation alone makes it worth it. Not to mention all the firsts that happen so fast that you’ll otherwise miss… presumably to work for “the man.”
Am American, but been lucky enough to work with people who understand this, and maxed out all paternity leave I could get.
Fuck those people dude. When it comes to children. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy the time you have with them when they are little and don’t miss out on all those amazing moments. I took 12 weeks with my kid and it was wonderful to just watch her grow. Take benefits where you can, fuck the haters.
Ignore them. If you can, should you try and stagger the time off with your s/o. Don’t take it at the same time.
You’re the smart one. Fuck the haters. Ignore them.
I’m fortunate to work at a place that offers some leave for paternity, but with the option of being “flexible” about it. I’ve seen most of my coworkers take off for 2-4 weeks (out of 6), then return to work half time or so once things start settling. Two have taken all 6 weeks, one for medical reasons (baby needed follow up), and one purely to spend more time with baby/wife.
I haven’t needed paternity leave, so I don’t know how much more money you get for returning to work early, but I think I’m inclined towards taking 3 weeks, then coming back to work unless there’s something wrong. There’s a bunch to admire about prioritizing your time bonding over money, and I don’t want to take anything away from that - it’s just not me.
Enjoy it. A great number of people in the US have been conditioned to tie up their sense of worth to their job, and can’t comprehend there’s more to life.
I’d take 12 years paternity leave if I could.
Pretty sure THEY are the ones missing something. They’ve been brainwashed into thinking you should be embarrassed NOT to shun your family so you can be at work 24/7 to make someone else rich. Take advantage of that program while it still exists.
the us serious lacking the amount of leave you need, or makes its super-convoluted.
My main thought on paternity leave is that it should be exactly the same as the maternity leave so that there is no difference between hiring a man or a woman.
Any man that thinks work is more important than spending time with the family is a bad father. I say this as the son of a bad father.
When my daughter was born, I was blown away to find that my company offered 16 weeks paternity leave. A couple of weeks before my wife was due, I was talking to a coworker and found that his wife was also pregnant, but he didn’t know about our company’s parental leave policy. He had only been planning to take a couple of weeks. After we talked I found out he took the whole thing.
That four months was one of the greatest times of my life, getting to know my newborn daughter.
Three years later I was in a different job when my son was born. They offered three days. Six months later I found a new job, and I took an extra month off during the transition, just so I could spend every day with my son.
I don’t regret any of that. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I love my children and love being a dad. This is life. This is all we get.
It is a no brainer dude. Absolutely take the leave. You know how the work culture is here in the US, it’s pretty ridiculous. The “Live to Work” crowd is getting pretty old now though so I have seen a shift in corporate culture where I am at.
Enjoy your leave. You obviously have the sense to know that you are taking it for: your wife, your child and your mental health. You will give your family a better head start. Corporate won’t notice. If they are going to fire you, they’ll do it even if you had spent the time period working double overtime instead of being on leave.
