That amount of spice is not gonna make you rich. You need to fill a ship’s hold and cross the world.
Not rich, but enough to buy something nice
Ooooh! Like maybe some spices!
gun and bullets
If I can’t have marjoram, is it even worth going to the middle ages?
The castle and either the gun with no bullets or the motorcycle would be the more responsible answer. If determined enough, you could eventually get it to where you could make bullets but you could also eventually get it to where you could refine compatible-enough fuel from organics or something.
But fuck it I’ll take the lsd and the vape.
If the DeLorean is the variety with the time machine and the time machine itself doesn’t need any special fuel, then that changes things of course.
I’ll bring the warheads to give peasants a mental breakdown, and the laser pointer to fuck with medieval cats.
Give me 10 big ol’ jars of saffron and the motorbike. I’ll convert it to run on alcohol or woodgas in a sidecar.
Definitely the Moog. I’m not into music, but it’s an unlimited source of electricity; just open the case and find the power rails.
Good luck opening it without a screwdriver.
They had hand drills back then. Just drill out the screws.
Or just sketch what you want and have a metalworker of the period make it. They would have had the precision to manage it particularly if you sacrificed quality and worked in pewter. Pewter is so easy to cast you can pretty much diy.
The Phillips head screwdriver screws are great for not exactly needing the most precise shape for undoing them. Anything sort of in the ball park will work.
Hell, just press a bit of wax into the screw head for an impression, then use lost wax casting to cast a driver.
There’s a good book from a former Smithsonian curator called One Good turn that talks about the ancient history of the screwdriver and the screw.
If you went back in time far enough that the people around you didn’t know about the screwdriver and the screw, Even a rudimentary knowledge of It’s existence would possibly on its own break the timeline.
I could easily reinvent the screwdriver. What i could use the electricity for however…
Does spice melange count as one of the spices?
As it’s written!
It is the only spice that counts.
The spice must flow.
Easy one.
The gun and the bullets to shoot myself.
Or to used as a template/example for how to build a gun.
Do you even need the time travel part?
Dab pen and spice jars.
That’s basically enough to start a religion in medieval times. Spices to finance a nice temple, and dabs to create a religious experience forc prophets who testify to the power of the faith.
But they had marijuana in medieval Europe
Shotgun dabs into their mouths and they’ll literally think you’re Jesus.
But they also had psychedelic mushrooms and that’s way better at that
Ask for the gun and the bullets.
Before I’m sent back, shoot the time travel master (nerd!) in the head. Shoot their attendants, too (nerds! nerds!).
Grab all the other options, and load them in the time travel car. VERY IMPORTANT: the Moog will be playing the Knight Rider Theme until further notice.
Time travel back to the Vatican, Apostolic Palace. Driving the motorcycle up to The Pope, I do a jump that involves me turning upside-down OVER the Pope, during which I look down, shove the LSD down the Pope’s throat, and then do an Akira-slide right in front of him.
In fluent Latin, I explain to the Pope that I am a messenger from God who has been sent to deliver a Mighty Revelation. For the next several hours I use all the other options I brought back to astound and amuse The Pope during the LSD trip. During this phase of the experience, the Moog will be playing selections from Pink Floyd, focusing on music from Dark Side and before. The key message of The Revelation is that I am an agent of God to be protected and revered.
After the Pope comes down, I scope out the Vatican’s Cardinals. (The Moog will be playing Guile’s Theme during this phase.) The spices are covertly swapped for hashish and opiates, which I use along with the Warheads candy to bring mini-Revelations to those Cardinals who seem friendly. Those Cardinals who seem hostile to me, are fed bits of the Uranium. I am declared a Cardinal. When the time is right, The Pope is also fed bits of Uranium.
After the Pope dies, a conclave is convened in the Sistine Chapel to select the next Pope. The Moog will be playing Objection from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (2001) during this phase. As a Cardinal, I attend, and will use the motorcycle to pop wheelies and do donuts until I am elected.
When I first appear on the Papal balcony, to be revered for the rest of my life as an infallible being whose words must be obeyed without hesitation, the Moog will be playing the instrumental version of We are Number One from Lazy Town, and I will be doing an appropriate dance.
I would read this comic book.
This is the best comment I have seen on Lemmy. You are a genius.
What a fucking ride. I had all the tracks on background play in pipepipe. Incredible.
What about the other items? Bottle rockets off the papalcony for sure. Dab pen for office duties after I think.
The laser pen would also be a mind blower during the high times.
That moog isn’t a fucking iTunes playlist, it’s a musical instrument that needs a real person to play it so your entire plan is completely shot.
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The moog is “magic - works without amp or outlet” so it is magic. (Given.)
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Therefore the moog is AI, since magic and AI are indistinguishable. (Lemma: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Clarke. The exact workings of contemporary “AI” neural networks are insufficiently understood, therefore indistinguishable from magic.)
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Because the moog is AI, I can talk to it like ChatGPT, I just have the wrong keyboard.
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Use the keyboard like this: first key is “A”, second key is “B”, etc. Type out some sentences until the AI figures out the pattern. I have plenty of time to do so, since I have a time machine.
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Use the keyboard to chat with the moog to tell it what I want it to play.
Problem?
yes there’s a problem, its only magic is that is works without an amp or outlet. none of the other things you’ve listed are implied or remotely plausible.
I was using a specialized form of argumentation which I thought befitting this community. Here are the details: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/troll-science-troll-physics
Was this the right decision? Perchance.
Absolute madman 👏
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Just hope your time machine doesn’t deposit you off during the Western Catholic Schism or else you’ll have to repeat this multiple times with multiple popes.
Or maybe this is how the Western Schism is avoided in the first place. The Lord works in mysterious ways…
I had the same idea for the items.
Pick gun and the bullets.
But instead my plan was to shoot myself.My plan was to take the dab pens and the moog, assuming it could be used as a backup battery to the pens. And then just plan to hang myself when confronted with the inevitability of sobriety.
Hey y’all no need for that! Meet up with me in the year 1214, and Pope Rolando will set you up as Archbishops somewhere. We can even go on convenience store runs in my time machine!
Everyone taking this challenge is invited. All your sins will be forgiven!
The Moog and the (for sake of argument, diesel) Motorbike. As long as the moog doesn’t lose its magical power powers if you disassemble it.
Warheads would probably kill someone from back then
The synth and 10 jars of saffron. I’ll learn to play music like a bard and be fucking rich selling little bits of spices while I travel (and eventually be murdered as a witch).
Aha! I knew someone else would go with the saffron gambit. Especially if you get to specify that it’s really packed in there.
I would probably mix in some whole nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves with the saffron as it was generally more popular in England at the time and the variety would probably mean more of my wares purchased by at each stop to save me needing to travel further. Travel being so gods awful at the time mitigating the risks a little bit would be worth it I think.
Almost all of these will get you drowned for witchcraft
Nah. Medieval folks understood the idea of mechanical engineering and complex music instruments, take the spices and the keyboard and instead some dude will just stab you for them.
