Class 13 Death World
The call it “Dirt”. There was a misunderstanding with the word “Earth” and it got translated to soil or dirt, so they picked “Dirt”.
Meat Packing Facility #173
If we’re going by Columbus logic, probably “Jupiter”
Blue Marble probably
Salty Water Ball With Some Dirt Patches
Are the aliens going to rape and enslave?
Very likely
Shithead
Translated to English, probably “Name-of-Star” 3, as in 3rd planet from our star, same system as Star Trek. The key difference is Columbus had no idea where he was going, and aliens have to know exactly where they’re going. Can’t shoot into space and find a planet by accident.
“This isn’t Mars? You’re not martians? Ah fuck you, you’re martians.”
“West Martians”.
Water planet with cancerous hairless simian population.
The Wet Ball of Trash
Hmm, so they were aiming for something else, but got here instead because they had crank theories about the shape of the universe? (Columbus thought Earth was egg-shaped instead of a sphere, like had been known since the time of ancient Greece)
They call us something translating to “the Andromidans”.
I mean you don’t have to go with the analogy fully, but yeah, that’s a deep answer, I suppose.
“Planet of the money-crazy hairless apes that can’t relax”
Or “Klaus”…
Open season on the tasty meat creatures
