Oh no all those developments that they introduced all going to stop, like nothing, bugger all, and zip.
They literally didn’t do anything, they announced the car I think they had a concept vehicle which looked very apple, and then they did nothing at all ever again.
I was genuinely looking forward to them refusing to install airbags because it compromised the dashboard being 100% screen, and then later installing airbags in a “notch”, but calling them iBags, and advertising them as a revolutionary new feature that only Apple could think different enough to invent.
Courage. You need to put courage to charge extra few grands somewhere to complete the apple experience.
lmaoooo, I’ve been saying for years there’s no way in heaven or hell apple is making a car, and now look what happens
I have to say that I’m still not convinced they were. It’s just so far from their core business I don’t see how it ever could have been real
Aww and I was looking forward to a chipped windscreen requiring the replacement of the entire cabin, unless the car had ever been in the rain, in which case fuck you buy a new one.
That’s a Rivian.
And the cybertuck
Anyone got a non-paywalled link?
Thank fucking god. Imagine the kind of monetization that would exist inside an Apple car. You think subscription seatwarmers are bad, and they are, but I can guarantee Apple had much worse in mind, and that most companies would simply follow suit.
They would come up with a charging port that only existed in the parking lot of Apple stores
Also it would on the bottom of the car
Deserves a shoop
alt-text: actual Apple Mouse charging via its bottom port
(Interesting, this guy says it gains hours of charge in three minutes, and thinks Apple knew some would leave it plugged it at all times. Intentional sure but not exactly “brilliant”.)
Just flip it over to charge of course
Or blaming customers for problems, “You’re shifting it wrong.”
Not sure if you’re aware that EVs don’t “shift” or if that’s an indictment to the level of idiocy that would likely be employed by Apple.
Yeah I’m aware. There is mostly no reason for EVs to shift, but Toyota was trying to add a manual transmission to an EV for some reason.
But “you’re shifting it wrong” would be a scenario like the car wouldn’t shift from P to D and Apple blames the driver.
It’s a reference to an actual response from Jobs when the iPhone 4(?) had a bad antenna design.
Damn, good memory, it was the 4: https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/
Thank you. Apparently my half joke has rustled some jimmies.
I think it’s more that you missed Dan’s joke than anyone being upset.
Porsche begs to differ.
All you had to do was a basic search for what EVs have multiple gears, but you didn’t.
What I like is that a bunch of idiots seemed to take offense to my comment which was meant more as a joke. I do admit I wasn’t aware there were EVs with gears. Though this is mainly because I won’t be in the market for my next EV for hopefully years. When I was looking into it, it was largely seen as unnecessary.
Up to a certain point only. In most places you cannot hope to be able to sell a car that has not a minimum set of features mandated by the law.
And Apple cannot hope to compel states to change the rules just because so they can sell their car.
Poor people shouldn’t drive an Apple car /s
Genuinely, this is the best news I’ve heard in a while for the reasons you listed. Apple is already fucking up the phone industry with anti-consumer policies that become industry trends. I shudder to imagine how deeply and irrepairably they would have fucked up the car market for consumers.
They might have pulled the luxury brand “buy once, cry once” approach and made all those upgrades a single insanely high fee. “Base model is this, but if you want seat heaters that’s another $8,000, if you want lane assist, that’s another $5,000” etc etc
That does seem more like their kind of style
“Base model is this, but if you want seat heaters that’s another
$8,000$10,000, if you want lane assist, that’s another$5,000$25,000 and requires a 512GB storage bump for $2,000”Ftfy to more realistic numbers
TBF This is how luxury car manufacturers sell their options. Always have been.
Space Karen sells his false self-driving option for €7500 as a software option.
Yes, but historically the purchase of an option included the physical installation of that option and its associated hardware. Not just turning on parts of the car that are already in it, after you bought it.
To be clear, I don’t think anyone is arguing that options should not cost money. We’re arguing against A) recurring subscriptions, and B) paying more money to activate features already built into the car you already bought.
I know the current circlejork but last time I’ve checked the self-driving required an additional processer inside the car.
For many options in cars, the sensors and electronics are already built in but disabled in software. It’s cheaper to build while optimizing profit with options.
Maybe the i-bike is more appleish? Imagine this, it’s a bike like other bikes, but you only need to pedal with one leg, and if you turn the pedal, the whole bike turns. Tilt it back to stop. Sure, you may look fucking stupid running around with only one pedal while your other leg does nothing at all. That’s it. Oh, and it’s white and smooth in gorme plastic-like design. You can charge your bike but you must remove the seat and turn it upside down using our special turning device since it’s 700lbs.
Also you can only use it on roads built by Apple!
It’s a special magnetic stripe road that illuminates the Logo properly…can you use it on regular asphalt? Nope! Why? Oh apple has looked into it and it is very challenging but they will work with authorities to see if it can be accomplished.
DAE I’m too poor to afford Apple products?
Swing and a miss
Designed by Apple in Cupertino, made in China
Hey! It has a breathalyzer integrated into the…what, why do you need a butt breathalyzer? Oh…
lol
Thank glob, the only apple mobile i want to see is lowly worm’s
This is layoffs.
Did you read the article? Says they’re going to work on AI
Five people out of hundreds will yes.
This is layoffs.
They should sell BYD vehicles.
I remember when Tesla begged Apple to buy them
That would actually be a terrifying precedent. “Can not pair phone to iCar™. Please use an iPhone next time, moron”.
A massive corporate monopoly enforcing the use of its devices by purposefully removing cross compatible functionally between different platforms. Spineless governments don’t do anything cause they are toothless and on the payroll.
As more of our lives move online and we become more dependent on technology, soon we’ll only be able to live our lives in the way Microsoft, google, or apple give us permission to.
Not enough people realize this.
I think all those dongles hanging off the car would have been a problem anyway
- You need a dongle for that, sir.
- A what?
- A dongle.
We put the charging port underneath the car!
Lightning (in the US; USB-C in the EU)
And of course they’d save money by putting an iPhone battery in the car.
It has over 4 miles of range.
Wheels come separate each for $10k, unless you want to use VESA mount for the car
The windscreen is made from high-tech Apple SpaceGlass, and the integrated HUD (*Pro car only) presents all non-Apple cars as green bubbles in real time
This is good news for everyone else
Maybe they relized rhat they cannot trademark the itire and remotely lock it, and sell it for 20 times the price of a regular tire.
Did they even contribute any meaningful technology discoveries or anything in the field?
CarPlay was a’ight.
