“Lukee kuin piru Raamattua” (Finnish).
Literally “to read like the Devil reads the Bible”.
Meaning to examine something in bad faith. Never heard it used it in context of the Bible or anything religious, but eg. when interpreting law or contract, looking for the details that could be twisted for your purpose, rather than what the text attempts to convey.

When I was young, myself and a group of friends were being accosted by a disheveled man on our walk home from the bar. We didn’t really understand what he was saying, but we were able to discern one phrase, as he told us to “Put the pussy on a chain wax”

We had no idea what it meant, and thought it was hilarious, so we’d oft repeat it at random.

Thinking about it now, I suddenly realize what he meant. He was referring to the woman in our group, telling us to pimp her out, by putting her up against a chain-link fence that were so plentiful in rough neighborhoods where we grew up.

So now I’m telling you, so that if you ever encounter this gentleman, you’ll know what he’s talking about 😶‍👍

• Flat out like a lizard drinking
• We’re not here to fuck spiders
• As dry as a dead dingo’s donger
• Forty cents short of a shout
• A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

Argentine here! Some of my favourites:

" Para andar a los pedos más vale cagarse "

Roughly translates to: “better shit yourself instead of going farting around” Worth noting: “andar a los pedos” also means being in a hurry.

" A caballo regalado no se le mira los dientes "

Roughly translates to: “Don’t look at the teeth of a gifted horse”, meaning you don’t look for defects in things that have been handed to you.

" Siempre hay un roto para un descosido "

I think the English equivalent is “there’s a lid for every pot”.

" Lo atamos con alambre "

Translates to: “tie it down with wire”. Usually refers to get something going even if it’s barebones or a shaky fix.

I’ll be thinking of more and maybe drop another comment later.

Ukrainian “не лізь поперед батька в пекло” (“don’t rush to hell before your father”) - a mix of “don’t be foolish / try to prove yourself / hurt yourself doing so” and also “let experienced people do their job / lead”.

Also Ukrainian “або пан або пропав” (“Either [you become] a lord, or you disappear”), an important risky choice, or sometimes used as YOLO of yesteryear.

“I have to see a man about a horse.”

It means you’re going to the bathroom.

A couple of figures of speech from Mexico that I find equally nonsensical:

Simón: Means yes.

Nelson: Means no.

Mátala(o) (kill it): to finish a drink or a snack.

Jalar (pull): To go somewhere or agree to a plan. You may also hear its long form “¿jalas o te pandeas?” (do you pull or do you bend?) meaning “are you coming or not?”.

¿Se va hacer o no se va a hacer la carnita asada? (Are we doing or not the carne asada?): It means “Is the plan still on?”

Chapulinear: There’s no literal translation for this one but I guess it would be like “grasshopper-ing”. It means seducing a friend’s partner.

Tirando el perro (throwing the dog): Flirting.

Arma la vaca (build the cow): Gathering money for a small collective purchase.

Huele a gas (Smells like gas): To leave. That’s kind of like an advanced figure of speech because it comes from Fuga, which in and of itself is a figure of speech meaning “to leave quickly”. It literally translates to “leak”, as in a gas line leak, because the gas escapes very quickly. So, when we need to leave but not quickly, we don’t say “leak”, we say “smells like gas” implying there might be a leak.

Here’s a modern one:

Quesadilla: Means “that’s so sad” because it sounds like *Qué sad (illa)*tal

“Correo de las brujas” translates to “the witches’ mail” and means gossip or rumors. Kind of like “heard it through the grapevine” or a “a little birdie told me”

“Jeg bryr meg katta”

literally “I care like a cat”, meaning “I don’t care in the slightest and talking more about it is an insult to my time”.

It’s fallen mostly out of use, but I’m hanging on.

You’re mustard

English. It’s a good thing, means the person is awesome.

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C’est la vie. Because it is what it is.

Two that are related to falling

猿も木から落ちる [Even] monkeys fall out of trees [too]. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you’ll always get it right.

七転び八起き Fall down 7 times, get up 8. Pretty self-explanatory

In Khmer, there’s a phrase “មិនដឹងខ្យល់” which literally translates to “Doesn’t know wind” as in they’re so dumb they don’t even know what wind is.

I guess it’s kind of like calling someone an air head but from a different angle.

“Das geht mir am Arsch vorbei.”

German for I don’t give a damn about that.

Literally: it passes by my ass.