• Mr PoopyButthole@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    9 months ago

    I’d have to agree that anger isn’t usually it’s own emotion, it’s a specific expression of fear or sadness. There are always exceptions I think, but usually there’s more to it.

    My favorite thing is to express those things through humor. It’s not for everybody. If you’re not funny enough you can just sound like an idiot or an asshole, as I can. Other times it enables you to attack the root of the problem in a digestible way that doesn’t make a person feel attacked.

    • otp@sh.itjust.works
      0·
      9 months ago

      Especially in men, as men are generally socialized to keep most of their feelings to themselves. The only ones that are socially acceptable for a man to display tend to be ones like anger and maybe joy (or just contentment). So instead of fear or sadness, men have to express those emotions as anger to fit the expectations for their gender.

      I think this is where most road rage comes from. We feel fear because someone does something stupid, or something bad happens on the road…but men aren’t supposed to feel scared, even if they could’ve gotten into an accident. So they express that strong emotion as anger, because that’s an acceptable outlet.

  • friend_of_satan@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    9 months ago

    Scream into a pillow.

    Argue with yourself from the other perspective.

    Think “Fuck you! I’m going to make the world a better place!” And then actually do something constructive with all the energy your anger gave you.

  • dustyData@lemmy.world
    0·
    9 months ago

    Heavy metal. Literally. Singing, listening, playing, headbanging to heavy metal. Just like listening to sad music helps with sadness because it provides a safe outlet for emotion. So does engaging with angry music. Some of the mildest, most accepting and emotionally well adjusted people I’ve met were metal heads. And they were social activists as well.

  • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
    0·
    9 months ago

    Exercise and processing emotion without letting yourself explode from it. Then, assess how you felt and determine how to avoid the situation in the future. If possible, talk to the person or people who you would like to build a better, healthier relationship with. Or, leave that portion of your life if possible, if it is truly toxic.

  • Ashy@lemmy.wtf
    0·
    9 months ago

    Shouting and cursing at my computer. It definitely helps with debugging, too.

  • ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    9 months ago

    Get some time and space to yourself, 10 to 30 minutes, depending on the complexity of the situation. Think about exactly who/what you are angry with, and why (including yourself*). Don’t worry about solving it, just get it front and center in your mind. Pile up a huge number of couch cushions. Beat the ever livin’ fuck out of them with your fists and feet until you break down or wear yourself out. Repeat as necessary.

    *Note: One of the reasons some emotional things never die is because we try to solve them without including ourselves from the equation: we see forgiveness is needed but we don’t include ourselves, for example, or guilt needs addressing but we don’t want to measure our own part in it because someone else’s betrayal was so overwhelming, thus it’s almost unbearable to think of the self as participatory in that destruction. Yet those are examples of exactly the kind of inner situation that keep us stuck in unhealthy emotional patterns. If you really want to get out of an emotional trap, including anger that doesn’t quit, and you think you’ve tried everything, try specifically looking for exactly what you don’t want to see about your own part in it.