LGBTQ+ rights in the work force. I think I’m one of the few individuals who don’t prioritize their LGBTQ orientation as my identity into my jobs. I know that people getting fired over their identity is an issue, but it’s something that doesn’t affect me because I don’t parade my identity. I don’t feel it is my job’s business to know it either, I go to work, do the work, they pay me to do the work and that’s the bottom line of our relationship, period.
We don’t need to complicate things because I’m X identity and they need to get into Y politics over it.
I also don’t parade my identity at work but I’m obviously still affected by the false accusations and firings I’ve seen of other queer people. I’m single right now but imagine if the wrong person saw me getting picked up by my partner, my livelihood would be gone and I’d have to go back to my old dead end job where cis men were allowed to scream at me and throw things and management would make excuses.
(I was closeted there too, that place was just like that)
You are affected by anti-LGBT discrimination, you’re just not paying attention for some reason.
Uh, I’m not affected. What’s there to pay attention to? Not one single instance have I had, in all of 10+ jobs in my resume, where my LGBTQ status was put into question because it was never a matter on the table to begin with. I never brought it up. I never mentioned or talked about who I was with or seeing. I don’t drop hints, nothing. I didn’t have nosy people, which sounds like what you had and other people.
Anytime I was fired or penalized, it was because of policy violations that amounted to insubordination or just performance in general. Not once, ever, has it been because of my identity. You really must be living in places where you’re running into these issues all of the time, because I don’t.
Your comment suggests you are affected by it, because you suggest that you can’t be open about it.
Furthermore, it doesn’t matter if you keep it to yourself, alt-righters love doxxing LGBT people and reporting them to their workplace. I have a trans friend who’s roommate was abusive, and he’d report her to her workplace as having lied on her resume. She went through several jobs as a result of trying to keep her identity a secret like you, because her roommate reporting her and getting her fired (she eventually found a job that didn’t give a fuck about her being trans, told him to go fuck himself and helped her move away from him).
Quite honestly I’m amazed this post has been left up because it’s basically “don’t say gay”. “Just don’t talk about it and it’s not an issue”. Yeah, it kinda is a problem if Karen gets pissed off because she saw me giving my boyfriend a smooch when he drops me off at my workplace.
They didn’t say “don’t say gay”. They said “Being gay shouldn’t be your identity and should make no impact for better or worse in the workplace”
I don’t have a choice. Being trans is part of my identity, whether I like it or not. It’s not a diagnosis, it’s a label describing who I am. The idea of having to “boy-mode” the rest of my life because I have to bend to the will of some dumbass, PoS Karen who’s own family doesn’t love her, just because she might get offended by who I am is extremely painful. There’s a reason why suicide rates are extremely high among trans people. I cannot change who I am. I cannot cover it up forever. There will become a point at which, no matter how hard I try, it will become obvious that I’m trans.
Don’t say gay, don’t act gay, don’t be gay. That’s what “don’t say gay” is, and that’s exactly what OP is advocating for. And no, it shouldn’t matter if you’re straight or gay, but it does matter because there are more hateful idiots out there than there are loving people.
Ok. Trans for me is a different subject. You are absolutely right. You have a harder time blending in than non-trans. However, I still believe that OP is not meaning “don’t say gay”. They’re saying it’s no one’s business. Which does apply to you. However that’s an uphill battle for you unfortunately. Still don’t believe there’s anything wrong with you telling someone in the workplace to mind their own business
It is no one’s business yet people make it their business. If OP gets fired because they get seen giving their partner a kiss or a neighbour outs them then, suddenly their identity is an issue at work. Just because OP has not been outed involuntarily yet, doesn’t mean it won’t affect them in the future. And if OP, for fear of getting fired, is keeping their identity a secret, it is actively affecting them. If a gay dude says to their co-worker “my partner made that cake” instead of “my boyfriend made that cake” because mentioning a boyfriend is a risk to their work it is affecting them.
I don’t believe OP is afraid of getting fired over their orientation. To me, it just seems like they prefer to keep their personal life and work life separate without sacrificing any morals
You said it more succinctly and polite than I would’ve retorted to OP. Thank you.
My homie. If you’re having to do anything other than be open and honest about who you are, you are being affected by it.
This whole idea of not “parading” is bullshit. Why? Because us cis-hetero folks parade our identity all day every day. It’s engrained into everything. Pictures of family in cubicles, taking days off to do with the wife and/or kids to the doctor, all those little things that add up to being out as a cis-hetero person.
Being able to just go to work and do your job without fear of consequences just for being under the LGBTQ rainbow is, and should be, an expected right. Period. Doesn’t matter if you’re wearing your pride lapel pin, or are hunkered down and avoiding anything that isn’t purely work related, we should all have expectation that just being us is a right.
Until that right is so perfectly reliable that it never happens that someone gets fired for being gay, or trans, or non binary, or bi, or whatever else is on the list, then all of us are affected by that issue, including us cis-hetero folks. Any infringement on that right to you, or anyone else is an infringement on me as well.
Doesn’t matter if I never experience racism directed at me, the effects of it are felt in one way or another eventually. My pale cracker ass may never have the life ground out of me by a cop on my back, but the fact that it can happen to anyone is still a problem. And not just in the “oh, that sucks” way. In the way that when a society is structured where such things occur to one group, it will eventually happen to others.
It isn’t if, it’s when. A cis-hetero white male might be the very last target, and a rich one the very last of those, but make no mistake that oppression spreads. There’s always going to be the next group that’s a problem to whoever is wielding the most power. And there’s always going to be those willing to participate in making sure those wielders keep their power, for just the trickle off the dick of those power mongers.
I genuinely can’t think of a single form of oppression, bigotry, or just general purpose othering that doesn’t affect everyone in some way.
Because us cis-hetero folks parade our identity all day every day.
🤡
Apparently someone doesn’t get to hug or kiss his wife in public.
The fact you feel the need to hide significant aspects of yourself from your employer means that these social issues greatly affect you. So much so that I’m not convinced this isn’t a troll, “it’s fine as long as I don’t see it” is literally a homophobe trope.
Weird question. You aren’t affected by it, until you are I guess. For instance, can you take your partner to company events where others bring their partners? Can you take the toilet that fits your gender identity? How will your boss/coworkers feel about you when they inevitably find out about your sexual orientation? Nice that you think you can separate your identity from your job, but let’s see how your coworkers feel.
It’s not a question. It’s an opinion massaged into an question so you will have to hear how shit it is because otherwise you wouldn’t.
I don’t give a damn what my co-workers think. Company events? LOL! Unnecessary drama and pressure because some lonely ass manager/executive somewhere feels they need to single out people to give the ones who don’t attend over. Bathroom politics are a freaking joke, can’t believe that’s even a thing for people that make a huge issue on where they shit and piss in.
Again - it’s not a job’s business to know. It’s none of the co-worker’s business to know. You bring it onto yourself when you decide to put a flag of your identity around your workplace or when you drop subtle hints. I don’t do that. I’m not affected by any of this.
It seems like you don’t care about what people think, conditional on them being somewhat accepting of your choices. For instance, until recently you could easily lose your job because students/parents found out you are gay. Trans people still face this reality in many states, and we are currently much more likely to regress than to progress.
With regard to the toilet: especially female-to-male trans people face a big issue that they look male (and are hence considered predators in female toilets), but are banned from using male toilets. This may seem like a minor issue if you aren’t affected, but in practice it’s a big deal.
My parents claim there is rampant discrimination and racism towards Russians. They’re all hysterical about it, claiming that they need to stow away all their money in a russian bank before the German government starts persecuting them “like they did with the Jews” (yea, literal quote). I’m doubtful that it’s as bad as they claim 🤔
