some people trigger me so easily it’s scary. Most of them are loud, lazy coworkers that somehow piss me off very easily.
Is this a normal reaction to morons?
it’s not like I want to punch them, I’m simply relaxed and work better when I don’t have to see them. They slow me down.
Started thinking about if something will affect me in 8 minutes, 8 hours, or 8 days. Now i only get mad at things that will affect me for 8 days. My anger is from combat so it’s unreasonable which makes it easier to ignore now that i’m aware of it.
Just remember none of us have free will.
Truly grocking that, makes anger at a person a sensible as anger at a wall.Is that you, Neo?
No. It’s me. Steve
Sorry Steve, I didn’t want to call you a cuck, but I have no free will.
I’ve had similar strong reactions to other things. In my case, I had some unresolved trauma that I wasn’t even consciously aware of until I worked through it with a therapist. Not necessarily the case with you, but it might be worth talking to a professional if you have the means.
That being said, every office seems to have obnoxious coworkers (that’s pretty much the premise of The Office, and why it did so well). And that can be annoying for sure. For me, I try to not take my work overly seriously, and I try to remember that others might find me obnoxious at times too.
every office seems to have obnoxious coworkers
imho, this is because everyone is obnoxious about something, in some set of circumstances, because we’re human animals.
I’m hella sus of anyone who’s always good.
Because you gotta know that ain’t natural.
I had a similar experience, my trauma was from an extremely toxic relationship I was in. I was so sensitive that anything could make me snap.
A therapist helped me develop coping mechanisms which helped, but I was really only able to start recovering once I left the relationship. I felt like a totally new person after I got away from them.
Not likely to help but for me it was joining the military.
Between the training I received and the situations I faced, nothing in civilian life has really been able to effect me.
It’s been 25 years since I left the service and I can count on one hand the times I’ve actually been angry about something.
I just need to add that this is very much a “your mileage may vary” type of thing. You can also come out of the military with a lot of anxiety and rage.
Absolutely, but the question was “how did you”, not “how should I”.
It sounds like there is some other sort of resentment at play here. Is there some other underlying attribute the coworkers who annoy you share? Example: Are they friends outside of work and you are not? Is it a racial or ethnic difference? Look for the reasons why they specifically “set you off” and address those biases. Try to better understand them as people first.
You say they are lazy - is it your job to police them at work? If not, then do your work and get promoted. Then you can actually do something about it. Until then, back off unless they prevent you from doing your job. Maybe when they see you are doing better than they are, maybe they’ll follow your lead.
If you want to be a leader, lead. Be the change you want to see. Take pride in yourself and your work, inspire others.
Anyway, ask yourself those questions and be honest. If you are troubled by the answers, start there.
Hope this helps
You don’t have anger issues, you have a toxic work environment issue.
We have 6 sentences from OP. We don’t know shit about them or their work environment.
Stoicism helped me. The dichotomy of control.
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you’ll find strength.” -Marcus Aurelius
Basically everyone is responsible over their own thoughts and actions.
That’s not true. You sound like you’re white as fuck :| you don’t think there are things that can influence someone’s brain and body? Human, human technology, or a wide variety of non human things?
Should Google DMT trip reports as one example.
You sound like you’re white as fuck
What? what does this mean?
White people are very set in their corporate slop eating ways. They like slaving away for billionaires, some of whom buy child sex slaves with the proceeds. FYI white men are the most likely to be pedos… For some strange reason lulz
idk about you, but i’ve never seen a white dude with child sex slaves. wtf are you talking about?
And every modern country slaves away for billionaires, what country are you living in that doesn’t?
Uh, the Nordic countries. You should go read a history book before speaking.
You should go read a history book before speaking.
I have. And yeah slavery existed just like everywhere, where do i deny that in my comment? You said that seeing a white dude with a child sex slave is some common thing.
We still have widely practiced modern slavery in the gulf and north africa, it’s not like you are uniquely evil. Sounds to me, you are the one that should read a history book ;)
Yeah that’s fair you’re right
It means he’s racist, turn it around and see how you get treated by him…i bet it will become clear what he means by it.
Nah, he’s probably white himself. I’ve literally never seen anyone online hate white people more than themselves. It’s a weird phenomenon…
Sounds like you’ve got some figuring out to do
Nope that’s the rest of you.
Idk man, those numbers are a pretty good indication that you’re wrong. Although doubling down might work this time.
ooga booga hivemind go downvote
It’s not a matter of being a hive mind, it’s agreed upon decency. I hope you’re only like this on the internet, for your sake.
Lost a close family member a few days ago. Haven’t experienced loss like this before so not handling it great. Appreciate you writing this out
I get super pissed when my shitty laptop and/or internet connection slows to a crawl while I’m working from home. It feels (irrationally) like a betrayal. It’s my stupid work equipment hampering me when I just want to get shit done.
I usually fly off the handle and curse a blue streak while rebooting everything. Sometimes I think it’s AV or bossware slowing me down.
Seems to happen at the worst times, too. Like when I’m trying to fix something important, and am already under time pressure.
Removing / migitating sources of stress and anxiety. I was known at work for my regular expression of anger, and if it wasn’t that it was sarcasm. Had a 3 month rehab after crashing really hard, and the “observers view” of my life at home made me see what had to change. Similar progress could be made with a good therapist, will take more time tho.
What do you mean by trigger you. How do you react? How does their behavior actually affect you?
Ok, so this is a bit weird, but… I am set off by businesses or management that make patently terrible decisions - especially if I work there. I can barely hold it together in a meeting without shouting like a lunatic. I bottled it up until I started to lose my hair (not recommended). I eventually left to start my own business, where other people can rail about my poor decisions. Not everyone can/should start their own business, but you can look for another job that is a better fit for you. Remember when you interview, you are looking for cultural fit as much as they are looking for an employee.
Since no one had actually answered you: In roughly 30 minutes increments.
Do you wear a watch? I find it helps massively. Make a point of looking at it. I don’t know what your work situation is, or living situation, but if you feel the wire trip, time it. Go and take a thirty minute break elsewhere. Toilet, conference room, cupboard, who cares just as long as you can be by yourself, and not be bothered. Write a journal, note why you got pissed off. Simmering anger can sabotage easily because it is basically you against you. Like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It can also be addictive. Note that too.
Thirty minutes I guarantee it the anger will have gone.
Plan your day so when you deal with them, you get it out of the way nice and early. You don’ t need them dropping a load of shit in your lap at 4pm on a friday. Know when to be gone, if you know what I mean.Anti-anxiety meds.
Anxiety isn’t the cause of all people’s short fuse, but it was for me.
And to be clear, I wasn’t really “anger” issues as in “blowing up at other people”. You don’t work retail long before you learn how to put on a happy face. It was more “anger issues” that I would just seethe to myself at all the stupidity around me, completely unable to let even the littlest shit go.
Driving was the worst. I was an asshole as a driver. My entire time travelling to work would often be filled with a constant litany of yelling and swearing to myself, knowing full well that the other person can’t hear me.
For me, it was a number of things that all came about through my 20s. The biggest were learning both how and when to tell people “no”, and making a conscious effort to think proactively rather than reactively.
What I mean by that is don’t take on extra work only because someone asks you to, and if something goes wrong, only worry about it if you can actually do something about it. Both of these are skills that require practice.
Also, as others have said, think critically if it might just be a shitty work environment. If that’s the case, consider looking for other work while keeping this job.
Flipped out over stupid shit. Hurt someone i loved. Decided to be better. Took 10 years beyond that, but there was progress that whole time.
