I must have taken that blue pill at some point.
Choose One?
That question mark ❓ suggests the option I could take them all instead if I wanted…
I’d take all but the blue one. Once my powers become known, my crush would love me! Together we’d run my campaign for mayor. I’d win on the promise that the browns will win the superbowl. Yes, I’m making a fecies joke about the BROWNS wining the SUPERBOWL.
I just gotta make the other team shit their pants at the right times.
Do what I tell you or I’ll give you nonstop diarrhea for the rest of your life.
Do you have to have the person in line-of-sight? Is awareness of them enough? Do they need to hear you? Do they need to see you? The “on command” bit is what makes me think they need to be able to be given a command, so at the very least have a speaker nearby. It’s a great bluff though. Who, after all, would actually question it once you’ve made them go several times.
The diarrhoea bit is an idea though. Can you make them poop in different ways? If you can make them have loose, watery stools could you also go the other direction and make them shit bricks? Take 100 men, make them shit bricks, and now you have an industry of adamantium-strength building material. Scale it up as business grows. The world would design around the piddling side effect that the hardest material in the universe is fecal matter. Masks with jasmine would become standard. People would wear skintight bodysuits that are easily removed and recycled in the intimate parts of their homes/offices that are made from non fecal material. Cleanliness would take over the world by necessity. You could be the start of a beautiful, shit-built world…
Solid
The pink pill is so silly yet can be so useful.
I’d take yellow because nothing would change
So take green then maybe?
Nah, I don’t like weed or any of the other options
Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?
Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word ‘rizz’ regularly will now poop?
Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I’d be the God of a stinky new world.
Problem is that in the US I’m fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.
To be fair, the president elected two months ago is the oldest asshole to have ever won the office.
Why is this so funny? It’s fucking stupid 😂
I would take the pink one, then find my least favourite people and make the infinite poop copypasta into reality…
I’d just tweet “poop” at Muskrat and Donald 24/7
You can do that rn if you wanted to.
I don’t want to create a Twitter account 😔
Fair enough.
I will just make every single human on earth poop every day at exactly 14:56 UCT
I wouldn’t say anything, and just enjoy seeing how people tries to figure out what’s going on. And maybe how a new religion is born of such a miracle.
That would destroy most places sewage systems lol
I’ve got a shy bladder, a wife, and plenty of weed gummys.
I’ll take the purple pill. Took forever to potty train my youngest and that seems like a useful skill.
I’d probably use it whenever I get road rage. Oh, you wanna cut me off? Fuck you. Shit your pants.
My first instinct was pink, but on second thought blue. There is no saying that because the pill makes them my friend that it couldn’t ever change. If not, I could always use more hot friends who could hook me up with their hot friends.
Man crush on Keanu or Cavill and have them be your friend. That could be great.
You’d have to choose your celebrity crush with care.
I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.
I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it’s you.
I was just assuming it was just Power Word: Shit and would effect anyone up to however many hit dice.
Well, I just made up my mind.
I already have all these powers… Maaaaan…
Are you the person who keeps mateiralising in my home and screaming “DEFECATE” then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?
I’ve had a leg injury lately and I can’t make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was “unsalvageable” and “honestly shameful”. You need to stop.
