Does anyone know the context? Is the soup a metaphor?

Australian detected

Dude I would have shat my pants.

Truth be told I would still shit my pants.

I remember freaking out when the last season of Friends aired - what, there are people vacationing in Bermuda? Are they insane? I was in my late teens

Say what you will but this would be a very cool “this is how we met” story that they could tell their kids down the line

Same man, where do these people get their flashlights

The more pubes the less guyliner? Really?

100%. Back then I didn’t know that, I assumed contacting the delivery service was the logical step. Some googling then showed me that was wrong and I should have contacted the company right away. But that wasn’t even a thing I thought about googling - it seemed like the feud was with me and Hermes only.

But everyone, take notes.

I had that with a rather expensive parcel from Korea “delivered” by Hermes. They claimed it had been delivered to my post box - a small slit of an apartment building. There were skincare products inside and no way this would have fit in there.

Anyway, it was not there. I wanted to call them to ask about it and jfc it took me a labyrinth of automated answers in a chat bot to even get the number for customer service. Once I called them - same shenanigans. Robo answers, asking for the parcel number. It always ended with “it has been delivered to your post box. Thank you”. Somehow, magically, I finally managed to talk to a person - after pressing a very specific combination of dials during the robo answers which I will never be able to reproduce - I explained them the situation, they said “uhum” (like a nod), started typing in silence, to then tell me “the parcel has been delivered to your post box” I am very glad this was a phone call because at that point I would have gotten violent.

I ended up asking the company I ordered from for help and they just resend the parcel. The missing parcel was never found and I hate hermes.

That sounds like a nice cover version

Dude I still try to fit everything into an overcrowded bus and carry it home from the bus station

I hope when I get dementia I won’t forget that there is a youtube instruction video for everything. I just need to remember they exist. That’s the one thing I must not forget.

Yeah because they are going to steal your most beloved jobs! Like cleaning and fast food cooking and everyone’s childhood career dream of being a toilet lady.

For real though, I could at least follow the logic if it were for high paying, competitive jobs. But these aren’t the migrants you are trying to keep out, in fact it is the one every country wants to get in. So why are the migrants the problem who are going to live in relative poverty, agreeing to wage theft, agreeing to horrible living conditions? The ones who won’t hardly have enough for a pension.

Also, there is nothing wrong with cleaning, fast food cooking, or toilet ladies. All the more power to them. It is a fucking disgrace that we regard certain unpleasant jobs (that will still need to be done) as low skill, low class, and award them with the lowest pay possible.

Out of interest, what do you mean with textured vegetable protein?

I am always amazed how everyone is so focused on billionaires only

That’s why I never trust immigrant veterinarians. They are always very quick to jump to suggesting that I should put down my dog. I swear the more Asian they look the more likely they suggest euthanasia. Even if the condition my dog is in is very likely treatable. At this point I am very convinced that all the corpses do not go to cremation at all.

Tell me more. How do I make my feet look popping? How do I even get started? I feel I could live with having slutty feet that give me some income

Jesus Christ

For me it’s the other way around :(

Your first sentence sounds like the Zeiss add on youtube that has been after me several times a day for months now