• jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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    1 month ago

    I do wonder the legal definition used here. I hope the law doesn’t consider it cheating if you tell them about it first, regardless of if they say yes

    • andrewta@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Just my opinion, if my spouse (I’m not married) walks up to me and asks if they can sleep with someone else and I say no. Then they do it anyway. I would absolutely call that cheating. Then I’d call a divorce attorney. If I had to pay alimony after the divorce I’d be extremely bitter.

      • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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        1 month ago

        Your partner is not your property. They have the right to fuck who they want.

        They dont have the right to endanger your health, which is why they need to tell you

        • JamesFire@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          There is absolutely a difference between having an open relationship where both parties consent, and having a relationship where one person just sleeps around, but it’s totally fine because the other was informed it was happening.

          Your partner may not be your property, but that doesn’t mean that sleeping around just because you told them it was happening is ok.

          • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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            1 month ago

            If you dont consent to your poly partner fucking someone else, you’re saying “your body, my choice”

            Thats so fucked, and I can’t believe you’re defending it

            • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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              1 month ago

              You have no conception of how contracts work do you?

              Contracts involve things people aren’t entitled to all the time. Nobody is entitled to have someone else meet them for lunch at 1 pm either. You can’t dictate someone else’s movements that way.

              Oh wait! Unless they agreed to meet you there at 1pm.

              Fascinating, the way promises can turn a lack of entitlement into legitimate entitlement.

              • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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                1 month ago

                This article is literally about changing that contract because its based on an antiquated concept of some old book that claimed it was the word of some mythical creature in the sky

                We’re updating the contract for a reason.

            • kofe@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              If a poly person is with a monogamous person and wants to sleep with a new partner, end the relationship with the monogamous person. The monogamous person can stay out of the relationship if they know the other person is poly, too.

              • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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                1 month ago

                Sure. I’m talking about a poly person in marriage with a poly person. They shouldn’t be able to be criminalized for fucking someone else if they told their partner about it first.

            • JamesFire@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              If you dont consent to your poly partner fucking someone else

              Whoa buddy, drop the assumptions. You’re assuming your partner is poly. Among other things.

              Thats so fucked, and I can’t believe you’re defending it

              I can’t believe you’re defending cheating and then excusing it as “we’re just poly” (Even though you absolutely did not make that clear to begin with, and are now changing the circumstances of your argument. Maybe list out any assumptions you’re using?)

              • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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                1 month ago

                I would never marry anyone who wasn’t poly. The law is the one making assumptions here.

                My point is that it shouldn’t be possible for my spouse to persue criminal action against me for fucking someone else in a poly relationship if we’re married. Thats fucked.

                The law shouldn’t make it not allowed to fuck someone outside your marriage by default. As I said before, thats cool to make it optional like a prenup, if you’d like, but it shouldn’t be the default

        • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          In the context of the comment chain, you’re saying that a person who willfully violates a monogamous marriage vow should still be able to claim alimony in the event of a divorce, simply because they informed their spouse they were doing it?

          Fuck that. What the hell are you thinking? Please tell me this isn’t what you mean.

          • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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            1 month ago

            Marriages shouldn’t be monogamous. Thats antiquated and ridiculous

            Some people get married for tax benefits, and the law shouldn’t say anything about whether or not the marriage is poly or mono. I mean, sure, let people opt into it if they want legally enforced monogamy, like a prenup. But by default marriage shouldn’t require monogomy. Thats insane.

            • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Wow. Way to give polygamists a bad name, dude. Can’t let the monogamists have their slice of happiness, huh?

              Pathetic. I’m glad you’re in the extreme minority, what a horrendous opinion you have.

              • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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                1 month ago

                I literally said its OK to be mono. Just that it shouldn’t be required.

                Also its polyamory, not polygamy