Rabbit hole time.
Apparently, caffeine in soft drinks is synthetic. I thought they just used caffeine that is extracted from decaffeinating coffee beans - not so. Also it’s barely produced in the US (anymore), and we mostly import it from China.
Neat part is: it doesn’t look all that complicated to synthesize and requires some common-ish organic compounds and solvents to make. As a bonus, the “the raw synthetic caffeine often glows - a bluish phosphorence”. If anyone is on his Patreon, please give NileRed a nudge to give this a shot; I think it would be right up his alley.
So we can get by without coffee, but short of running your own chemistry lab, it’s going to be a bit before industry can ramp up production of the synthetic stuff. Meanwhile, caffeinated beverages across the board would be more expensive were synthetic caffeine a part of any tariff scheme.
More here:
All this insecurity about tariffs has me hoping he have a Boston Tea Party situation. If I recall the story correctly, they threw the expensive British Tea overboard to protest the tax.
Similarly, I also recall a sugar tax, and either an ink or paper one: basically, I hope I can see something similar to see there’s still a small piece of American values from our ancestors (not the twisted Conservative heaven MAGA wants, but on the American dream of freedom, liberty, and justice for ALL.)
No Taxation Without Representation!
Can we do it without fucking up the environment in the process?
It’s hilarious how everyone knows the Tea Party and all of the taxes, when the real reason the American revolution happened was that England wasn’t going to let us drive Native Americans out
They were definitely just going to protect the natives, that’s the lovable British empire that I know
In our techo utopian future, the only caffeinated beverage will be Diet Mt. Dew.
Ewwww, I will take the crab juice.
Sorry, everyone who knows how to make khlav kalash has been deported.
Because of your lack of patriotism for our national beverage, the leadership has decreed that you will now only be able to drink caffeine-free Diet Mt. Dew.
The leader has issues a new memorandum. You will only be allowed to drink flat, room-temperature, caffeine free Diet Mt. Dew.
Some folks were a little late to figuring out what tariffs were okay!
I feel like most people I have heard talking about them while supporting Trump seem to know that tariffs are taxes, but have no concept of how they play out in a real economic situation. Most fall into one or both of two camps:
A) Tariffs are taxes, but they’re taxes for companies not individuals, and they’re only applied to importing, so they won’t affect me.
B) Tariffs are taxes for foreign companies, to level the playing field and keep American business competitive. Since the companies that have to pay it are foreign, it won’t affect me.
Spoiler alert, guys: no matter where the tax is levied in the system, the consumer is the only person who ever pays for it, since they’re the only ones that can’t pass that cost on to anyone else.
Also, while this can make domestic competitors more competitive, it’s important to remember two things: first, if it works, it’s only working by making things more expensive for consumers, and second, this assumes that the domestic competitors want more business, have the ability and posture to increase their production to meet the new greater demand, and will operate in good faith. Much more likely is that they simply also increase their prices in reaction to the tariffs, so they’re not producing or selling any more volume and aren’t creating any jobs… they’re just padding their profit margins at the corporate/shareholder level while doing nothing for their employees, all while having the average consumer foot the bill.
That’s exactly what happened with the steel tariffs in the first Trump term and that’s exactly what will happen now…the only difference is that this time it seems like there will be significantly fewer economic buffers between the tariff and the consumer, so more people will more directly feel the sting here…and presumably the mental gymnastics from the MAGAts will be even sadder in their attempts to somehow make it not a criticism of their orange leader’s incompetence.
“Surely the company that sells a product for $100 will keep selling the product for that price once tariffs mean that it costs a $125 to produce and import!” - crazy people.
Tariffs are taxes, but they’re taxes for companies not individuals, and they’re only applied to importing, so they won’t affect me.
Typical Magoo (literally my dad in 2016): “you can’t tax business owners, they’re going to just make everything more expensive for us! They pass on the burden to us!”
Also Magoo: “Yay tarrifs! They are a tax on business but that won’t get passed on to me!”
The Magoo motto: Whatever words I need to use to suit my purpose I will use, to hell with reality.
As a non-drinker of coffee, I am fully onboard with raising the price of coffee. Everyone is far too addicted to it and drink excessively to an unhealthy amount. Less coffee would be better for general health. Same for chocolate, as I saw someone else mention.
Too bad Trump doesn’t care about that and doesn’t actually have any plan in mind for this kind of economic policy for the welfare of the people.
As a non-drinker of coffee
the rest of your opinion is moot. you have no say in this because you don’t understand the concepts behind coffee.
I had to stop drinking coffee for health reasons. it was fucking awful. drank a cup a day for decades. I couldn’t function properly even six months later.
eventually I started drinking decaf, it helped.
you know why? the routine. the caffeine content is abysmally low but it comforts me first thing in the morning. It’s probably the same for many coffee drinkers.
so really, do you want to inhabit a world where at least HALF of the people you know start their day out on the wrong side?
It worked out fine with cigarettes.
Maybe the improved focus from a nice cup of joe would have made you realize how foolish this sounds before posting.
“I want things to be worse for everyone who isn’t exactly like me.”
You’re the worst kind of person.
Not sure if nafta is still active but I don’t think we can tariff Mexico. Mexico has some good coffee options
And I’m not defending trump at all but I don’t think he has any plans on putting tariffs for South America. I thought it was like only a China thing.
Could it be possible for companies to drop ship through Canada or Mexico to skip the tariffs?
If tariff checked based on country of origin it wont help.
Chocolate also. Lol I hope you fucking like corn syrup and candy corn you little shits.
I prefer buying my coffee and chocolate directly from the child slave labour. None of that free trade shit. It makes me feel connected to a past I never lived in.
I usually fly in to buy it locally. Important these days to know your farmers
I pictured this together in a bowl and it’s making me feel a hair nauseated
Classic American breakfast 🤌
No more coffee but plenty of PRIME™ for all!
Who are we kidding? Trump’s going to enforce it selectively to nefarious ends and enrich himself off exemptions that he’s hand picked to be subservient. Free market my ass.
100% this. I see tariffs on foreign cars coming quick.
So nothing and it’s just a money grab
No. Everyone who doesn’t have money for him to grab is fucked.
I’ve been saying this. I’m curious to see who wins out. In this case it’s populist bullshit vs American coffee retailers. Let’s see who comes out on top.
Wonder if we will see an uptick in American made “koffee”?
Something like the Ersatzkaffee from yesteryear. I mean they have the means of making caffeine so maybe it will be better?
Black Rifle Koffee
But (assuming a tarrif is something that can even pass) I imagine you’re going to see a swiss cheese of exemptions for favored countries. And these countries will become a back door for imports.
Expect all of your coffee to be mysteriously harvested from Canada.
No don’t. Last mandate, Trump out tarrifs on Canadian steel, labeled it a strategic risk. Read somewhere that it boosted Russian owned us steel mills somehow. Canada is not getting any favors from that guy.
Why do you think Canada would be spared tariffs?
The intent is clearly to “fix” the USs trade deficit, so Canada being the biggest trade partner would be prime for these.
I think any tariff that passes will have a swiss cheese of exemptions, because that’s just how the game is played in Congress.
Lobby hard enough and you’ll get your country excused one way or another.
Canada being the biggest trade partner would be prime for these.
It would be prime for Canadian ports, and for a host of middle men who get to launder trade goods through a legal loophole.
But that’s the real end game. Not domesticating manufacturing, but monopolizing channels for import/export.
About a year of shelf storage life for green whole unroasted coffee beans.
Been thinking about them beans
Gonna be some cranky leopards in America.
They are just gonna blame Biden still
“I can’t believe Kamala did this!”
Huge uptick in folks drinking 4 Loco.
Dude, if we tariff coffee I will personally write a strenuous letter to Trump. In crayon, and strenuous because I won’t have had my coffee.
I do think like 1 million americans sending letters to the white house telling them to fuck off is a funny thing to do. How many letters can be opened by 1 person a day?
All of them in severe grogginess crayon writing on construction paper. So they know as soon as they open it.
inb4 ersatz coffee revival
My chicory plantation will finally turn a profit! Wait till Dandelion Dan hears about this!
Chicory makes my teeth hurt, and it tastes like ass. Just seeing the word makes me want to explode vomit out of my eye sockets. It’s horrible what the fuck is wrong with you people
I work at a small, premium pet food manufacturer. People already complain about our prices. While most of our ingredients are sourced domestically, specialty meats are not. Lamb, duck, venison, goose, etc. going up will dramatically raise our prices.
Many of our products are chicken, pork, or beef-based, and these ingredients are sourced domestically. The fun twist is the rise in popularity of breeds and designer mixes that are predisposed to ingredient sensitivities or allergies. Many of these breeders advise against chicken or beef in these dogs’ foods.
You’d think people spending 3-9 thousand dollars on puppies would be in a position to afford special diets, but my experience says otherwise. It’s about to get a lot worse.
We’re lucky, in that we’re one of the few brands who utilizes mostly domestically sourced ingredients. I would expect pet food to jump generally, which doesn’t bode well for the increased pressure shelters and rescues are already facing.
