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Honestly? Kinda lonely. I’ll be 40 in a few months. I’m a woman, if the perspective matters .
I was engaged to the man I thought I’d marry and have kids with, but it didn’t turn out to be the case, and although I learned how to choose better and what to look out for, I also wonder if I’m ever going to get to have a family of my own. It’s been 6 years now since that fell apart, and I had to do a lot in that time to get back onto my feet, but the few relationships I’ve had since then are fleeting. Men seem afraid of commitment now, and it’s hard not to completely fall to the idea that I’m just too old, which is what society is consistently screaming at me.
I don’t feel old.
I am tired of searching though. At some point I will get to where I’m too old and that makes me sad to think about.
Too old to have biological children, yes, but my 72 year old father has been in a new relationship for about a year and they seem super happy together.
40 isn’t too old for kids. Plenty of people have kids at that age and they’re doing just fine.
It’s just more difficult when you’re older.
Yes, that’s true, but at that age you’re financially more stable and have more patience than a 20y. We had our kids at about 30 and I think that’s probably the best age for it.
Erm… normal I guess. I don’t know what it would feel like with children.
What I do know is I would be a terrible parent, I only got my shit together in my late thirties and I wouldn’t have been a good parent, so it’s good for the kids that I didn’t have any.
I have a lot of kids so I can’t answer that question
but reddit asked it 2 days ago, word for word https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gdm2wj/people_in_their_40s_and_50s_with_no_children_how/
I just think it’s interesting to look at the difference in the user replies
Shout out to !childfree@lemmy.world
Your link doesn’t link to the community on my instance, it links to the original instance, so that’s a bit annoying. Maybe that’s why?
I believe the way that link style works is that it does that only if your instance does not have it locally. Here on the fediverse we need one person to subscribe before it will show up on your local instance correctly
It doesn’t appear that that’s the case, because people on my instance have subscribed to the comm in question and the link still didn’t work. When I formatted the link correctly, it worked. Unless there’s an interoperability bug between Lemmy and Mbin, which is certainly possible.
Ah I’d guess that, I’m pretty sure Lemmy devs made that !community@instance.tld syntax
Didn’t downvote you but it’s probably bc Reddit’s original childfree subreddit is a special kind of toxic hellhole; even for Reddit… which is saying something.
This one is relatively as well.
Most of Reddit was a toxic hellhole. It’s why I’m not on Reddit anymore.
It seems like in almost every thread, there are at least one or two cranky individuals that just downvote for the hell of it.
Downvotes on lemmy are pure spam. Good instances block them.
I regularly down vote things. I up vote a lot more than that, though. I’m sure the ratio is at least 3:1 or higher for up to down.
Are my down votes spam?
Yes in my opinion which is why they’re turned off on the instance I use.
Pretty great. I have money and free time.
Feels like the best decision I ever made.
43 Male. I want kids but I am currently financially unsuitable. At some point though, I plan on it. I can appreciate being single and childless. I have done quite a bit of stuff, but, I have the urge to raise kids and have a family. It feels like there is a part of me not quite there.
Been trying for 6 years. Not desperately, but it would be nice. Thinking about getting chickens.
If you’re doing it for companionship, get male chicks so they don’t put them in the macerator.
I’ve gone from worrying what would have happened in my children’s lifetime to worrying what will happen within my lifetime so I’m good.
How much of lifetime do you think you have left?
That sounds like a trick question.
It feels amazing.
I wake up to a quiet, clean house every day.
Mid-40s: it feels fine. It both complicates and un-complicates various things for later in life, but that’s life.
I do like kids, but never wanted my own (at least biologically; I never fully ruled out adoption). We have nieces and nephews we can spoil instead of our own, heh.
Or has ups and downs.
I always wanted kids. So it’s a constant source of regret and emptyness.
On the other hand, life is cheaper. I can do what I want when I want. I’m not wrapped in worrying about my kids all the time.
Pardon my French but it feels fucking awesome. I’ve been able to travel the world. I have developed hobbies that I wouldn’t be able to do so with kids. I have saved a lot of money and I have been able to advance my career.
As for passing my knowledge/experience, I volunteer at various charities where I can influence young minds. I don’t believe that passing on genes down the line is the best I can do. The best I can do is to help young people achieve their goals.
Now, to address few some clichés. On my deathbed I will get the glass of water from a highly paid nurse. The “warm bed” is not the issue for me. When I go I will leave my possessions to a charity of my choice.
Great, for me. For others, I imagine it will depend on factors such as having a compatible partner in agreement.
