What qualities do you covet?

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
    0·
    10 天前

    I wish my relationship wasn’t so very, very, very, very bad. And I wish I could be independent financially and not trapped as I am.

    You honestly have no idea how bad it can get. Don’t ignore red flags.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
        0·
        9 天前

        If it was me (which it was), I’d set a reminder and then every time I got a notification, I’d push it off until later. Also, I’d hate my(past)self for making the commitment to have to deal with the notifications.

        • Albbi@lemmy.ca
          0·
          9 天前

          Ugh, notifications to do something are the worst! My notification to pay my credit card comes up and I’m like, just leave me alone already! I’ll do it tomorrow!

  • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
    0·
    10 天前

    That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don’t care if it’s all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      0·
      10 天前

      What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.

      I’ve met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.

      The people who don’t come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.

      I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
      0·
      9 天前

      Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.

      I’m a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can’t really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn’t that daunting as it seemed to me.

      It still not my biggest hobby yet I’m not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      0·
      10 天前

      I seen a lot of people have this particular question and the question that I have for them is what isn’t free will?

      On the religious side you’ve got the people who are saying God knows everything so he already knows what you’re going to do. On the science side you’ve got all humans are just chemicals in a hot dog casing.

      My opinion is, either which way you look at it you are free to choose what you want to do.

      Just because somebody can make you question the freedom of your choices does not mean that your choices are not born of free will.

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
        0·
        8 天前

        Here’s my take, and you can do with it as you will.

        We don’t have free will, how could we? We are, as you said, chemicals in a hot dog casing. When I see something I want to eat, it’s because chemicals tell me I’m hungry and it will provide sustenance. When I do something that I enjoy, and want to pursue, my brain is receiving chemicals that it enjoys, and tells me to continue doing actions that produce said chemicals. I can choose to do these things or not, but my choice in and of itself is determined by… more chemicals.

        But why does it matter, if those chemicals also tell “me” that “me” is the one in charge?

        It’s like the cave/ shadow metaphor (that I will poorly paraphrase and misuse); hold a chair in front of a candle, show me the shadow, call it a “table” for my entire life, and the first time I see a chair I will say, “so this is what a table looks like!” It doesn’t matter that it’s actually a chair, just like it doesn’t matter if I actually am making my choices. My reality (and your reality) is what I perceive and accept, and nothing more. Logically, I understand that when presented the choice between A and B, my body and the chemicals composing it are the ones “making” the decision, and I’m just acting it out. I get that. But if someone says, “do you want really want to watch The Lord of the Rings again?” I already know that the world has changed, because I feel it in the water, feel it in the earth, and smell it in the air.

        And that’s my choice, chemicals be damned.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
      0·
      9 天前

      There’s this nice dialog that’s written by logician and taoist Raymund Smullyan that is about a man asking god to abscond him off free will. I will not spoil the plot but it has some great turns and offers insights on the absurdities and (im) possibilities of the desire not to have free will (and of talking to god).

      It’s a long read, mind you but it may give you more insight on what you want to know about.

      https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/godTaoist.html

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
    0·
    10 天前

    I wish I didn’t have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don’t want to sell my mom’s TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      9 天前

      I don’t think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.

      Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?

  • Sam@feddit.org
    0·
    10 天前

    If someone was asked to describe me in a single word, I wish their response would be “kind.”

  • Flax@feddit.ukEnglish
    0·
    10 天前

    I wish I was more Christlike.

    No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can’t deny that He is a pretty good role model.

  • SavvyWolf@pawb.socialEnglish
    0·
    10 天前

    Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.

    And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me… I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.