It’s crazy to me that people are still watching TV and tuning into things like new episodes of The Simpsons. My wife and I just drove out to Vancouver last week and stayed in a few hotels along the way. Using the TVs at each one (with a living, breathing TV Guide Channel) felt a little surreal. We were supposed to have sex the one night and instead I fell asleep watching the Paralympics.

The lore books in The Elder Scrolls series, hands-down.

There is an entire universe of conflicting knowledge, personal bias, and unreliable narrators that leave Tamriel’s history feeling very real, and very open to interpretation. The fun of it is piecing together the truth somewhere in the middle. But I’ll die on the hill that the Arcturian Heresy is absolute horseshit written by a madman, and comparable to the scribbles of a paranoid schizophrenic on an anti-vax forum. Anyone who references that volume in regards to Tiber Septim and the forming of the empire is an impressionable dweeb.

I rage nearly every day when a bag either rips beside the seal, or has such garbage perforations that you have to use scissors on it regardless of their presence.

Homey the Clown. Dad took that shit out after three lines. Maybe. The movie started with a group of clowns/men discussing their pussy preferences.

STOP POSTING PICTURES OF THE SCROLLS! I swear this generation is reckless for upvotes. I only caught a glimpse and I saw the position in going to be shitting in when I die.

Mastodon overwhelmed me. I hopped on the website and had no idea what I was looking at. I didn’t understand federation. I basically had the option of what niche hobby to join on Mastadon and no indication that I would he able to access a broader forum, so I said “Well, this fucking sucks.” and left.

Threads and BlueSky are likely as accessible as making an account and you’re done.

It truly is night and day. I still see a bit of clashing in the bowels of political posts. Usually a MAGA being downvoted to -48, or various subspecies of liberals having it out, but next to that it’s certainly a lot more tame and respectful.

Frig off, Berb!

Reddit was bad for my mental health. Especially from 2016 onward. If it wasn’t toxic or aggressive people, it was an endless onslaught of all the shitty things happening in the world politically. I don’t even live in the States anymore, and I was still angry every single day. I still see some of it on Lemmy and it’s good to be informed, but Reddit’s algorithm was tailored specifically for my anger. The platform is all ego.

I’m either much nicer here, or people are far less confrontational. I’ve said it a hundred times, but every time I receive a notification on Lemmy I brace myself for another senseless asshole. But it’s almost always positive on here.

My wife and I spent $350 altogether for the paperwork and an officiant. We eloped beneath a tree in a park with her family present, and afterward I returned my dress shirt to Walmart for a refund. I will never regret how low-class that was.

We’ve been married now for ten years.

Dollar store seasonal garland. By the time it’s up in your home, it looks about 2/3 as real and costs 1/10 the price.

As I also saw mentioned, medicine. Buy it purely on price by volume and disregard the brand entirely. The only medicine I buy name-brand is Flonaise, because most generic brands of fluticasone spray have the most low-functioning applicators I’ve ever seen.

A schmetterling is the approximate amount of shit one spackles into the bowl of the toilet after a particularly fibrous day. It’s not so much that it clogs the plumbing or anything, but it certainly leaves a schmetterling of evidence behind for the next man to attempt to knock loose with his stream.

A very beautiful word.

I’m more of a Mephisto guy myself, but it never hurts to run Baal.

They come in two power settings: high, and low. And both of them will rip your dick off.

Valheim. My homestead is beautiful and densely forested. I’m well equipped and have provisions for days. I’m good.

Have we forgotten Revan and Malak’s misuse of the Starforge already?!

🎵 Fruit and vegetables keep us alive… 🎵

(OP imagining the invention of the hamburger)

“HOW EVER CAN WE EAT THIS GLISTENING PUCK OF MEAT WITHOUT GETTING OUR HANDS ALL GREASY?!”

I perceive remaining time much better with an analogue clock. It’s also why I perceive time in fractions. I think it’s the superior clock, and people should probably learn to fucking read one since they’re everywhere.

I also think it’s kind of insane that we’re not at least learning how to read cursive in schools anymore. There are countless documents written in English that English speakers will not be able to properly decipher.