There is no spoon.
Because it’s dull, you twit! It’ll hurt more!
Mirror?
It’s for boosting Wi-Fi reception, don’t worry about it.
Partially heeding the advice of Thufir Hawat
I would know by the sound of your footsteps mom
Aye. That he would
The weirding way
To eat yogurt
If you’re pounding one out that won’t really save you. He probably games with headphones and just doesn’t want to get jump scares by mom.
I always had a desk and a bed and I made a point to never have my back towards the door when I was at my desk for the above reason.
I used to almost exclusively listen to any kind of audio through headphones. I had a microphone near my desk configured so that it would pass through the vibration of footsteps directly to my headphones. I was rarely startled, no matter what sordid activity I was undertaking.
Wow was that hard to setup? Any special equipment needed?
Honestly, that was some 25-30 years ago. It was pretty simple to setup back then, but it might not be the same now, especially in Windows.
I forget the type of mic but there are mics specifically designed for picking up vibrations from surfaces (I googled it, they’re called surface mics ffs, could probably use a cheap normal mic without a pop filter tho)
If those use USB or 3.5mm, or can be made to, then plug them in and on windows check the “listen to this device” checkbox and boom, you’ll hear what’s coming through that mic. Adjust the sensitivity to your needs, done
On other OSs you can do it too just as easily but I don’t remember what my Linux distro calls it and if you’ve installed Linux you have enough info from my comment to figure it out methinks
I swear the footsteps trigger a Pavlov response in me at this point. I can even tell who it is by the footsteps
Trauma, neurodivergence, or both detected!
I used to be able to do that, too! These days, I live with two people: an adult wife and a toddler. Their gaits are pretty easily distinguishable.
Pavlov
As in you instantly lose an erection, because you’ve been conditioned to associate footfalls with a ruined orgasm?
I can only get off if I hear approaching footsteps
Same for me at work. But I use a mirror from Aliexpress.
Cyber-smack
Seems like new musky brand coming up
That’s actually really clever!
“And when we hide porno, we go all out. It ain’t behind the refrigerator or under the bed. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno.”
If they can’t figure it out, no one tell them.
Give him the keys for his room…
Fap with one eye ooooopen
Gripping your tube sock tiiight
Exit porn…
Enter mom…
Move your hand
And hope your boner doesn’t stand
I have no idea where that came from but alright… Here’s your well deserved upvote.
They reworked the lyrics to Enter Sandman.
I know, the melody somehow started playing in my head from the first line. I still don’t know why they did it but I’m not complaining.
My first thought was Last Resort.
Holy crap that works too well. Have my plastic fork!
The rework is titled: ‘Enter sockman’.
At least it was a sock and not a coconut.
Enter mom???😑
Maybe he broke his arms.
Thanks, I hate it
Maybe he broke his arms.
Broken arms meme, we meet again!
That’s one way to describe the guy, indeed.
All I think of is this now
Butthead’s a Lefty?
