• Dayroom7485@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    At the all-hands meeting, Garman said he’s been speaking with employees and “nine out of 10 people are actually quite excited by this change.”

    Just imagine the conversation between the CEO of AWS and some random employee.

    „What do you think about the return-to-office policy I propose, Cog #18574?“ „Great idea Mr. Garman sir, really smart move from your team. Incredible thinking and leadership from you Mr. Garman.“

    continues to tell people that 9/10 employees he talks to are excited to return to office.

    • evilcultist@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      He has to be straight up lying. There’s no way 9/10 are excited to be ordered back into the office. If that were the case, they’d have been in the office already.

      • billwashere@lemmy.world
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        16 days ago

        That’s a very good point that I’ve never really thought of. It’s not like anybody was keeping them from going back into the office. If they wanted five days a week, they would already have been there five days a week.

        • jj4211@lemmy.world
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          16 days ago

          If 9/10 were already voluntarily coming into the office every day, I could see it. Of course it would only be 9/10 of the people he bothered to speak to it about, and maybe he only spoke to people that were already there.

          As to why they would care if they were already there, well one guy in my team goes in every day of his own accord. He applies pressure to everyone on my team to be there with him every day, in spite of the stated WFH policy. So everyone but me goes in every day because I’m the only one that is willing to disappoint him. I’m reasonably certain that guy would love a forced into the office every day mandate, to force me to be there too. Then he could stop making passive aggressive comments about how people who didn’t come in must not care about the work as much as they should at every opportunity.

    • billwashere@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      9 out of the 10 he talked to are brown nosers and tell him what he wants to hear.

      Unless they were preselected micromanagers who like to bully their employees.

      Nobody I’ve EVER talked to wants 5 days in the office anymore. 2-3 tops. Even 3 levels above me don’t.

    • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      The “anonymous” survey asked this question with two choices: I agree or I’m looking for opportunities elsewhere

      • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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        16 days ago

        You’re not wrong. Best case would be finding a labor-friendly judge and that would likely get appealed to the USSC, comprised of conservatives and neoliberals, would almost inevitably rule that labor protections only apply to those whose net with is in the top 5%.

  • _sideffect@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Never quit in these situations, or they win.

    Do the absolute fucking minimum you can, or even less so you piss off management, until they have to fire you, which they can’t outright as after a certain number of years they have to give warnings and trainings first.

    • catloaf@lemm.ee
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      18 days ago

      That’s stupid. Don’t get fired for cause, that only hurts you. Spend your time looking for a new job, then quit and leave ASAP.

      • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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        18 days ago

        Split the difference, spend as much of your time on the clock job hunting and doing the bare minimum. Then quit without notice mid shift for the new job.

        • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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          18 days ago

          I work for a real shitty company with a lot of people who do things just to justify their jobs. This leads to stupid mistakes happening that can cause MASSIVE disruptions for the entire workforce. One such stupid mistake happened this week and caused my team (and several others) a shitload of unnecessary work. Yesterday a guy on my team who works in an already understaffed office had enough and told me that he’s done, and quitting. I can’t blame him, he is in a very shitty situation and I wouldn’t have stayed as long as he has… but if he walked out it would have put that entire location, the rest of our team both locally and extended, in a much worse situation. What it wouldn’t do is hurt the company or the executives.

          I’m all for people finding better jobs and leaving toxic environments, but it really does no one any good to pick the absolute worst time to walk out. That’s petty and will burn a lot of bridges, and depending on your situation and industry could come back to haunt you down the road.

            • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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              18 days ago

              Don’t get me wrong, I fully know that it’s bootlicking shit and I hate it… but I have a family to support, bills to pay, etc. It is soul crushing and someone purposefully picking the most painful time to walk out only hurts their coworkers, because even if you choose to take a sick day when they walk out, the next day you still have to go in and deal with the mess left behind.

            • chakan2@lemmy.world
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              18 days ago

              Ok…that’s not bootlicking…that’s a legit plea for some poor fuck in the poorest of situations.

              I’ve been in situations where I know I’m about to fuck my coworkers over and I let them know beforehand. Management can eat my dick however.

              Bob, you might want to take a sick day on Wednesday…why?..just do it…here’s my linked in info.

          • catloaf@lemm.ee
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            18 days ago

            if he walked out it would have put that entire location, the rest of our team both locally and extended, in a much worse situation. What it wouldn’t do is hurt the company or the executives.

            That’s not your problem, that’s the company’s problem. You still get paid the same. If you have issues, take them to your supervisor, and go on with your life.

            • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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              18 days ago

              Except I don’t still get paid the same. Someone walked out last year and put the whole team in a tailspin and the rest of the team paid for it when review time came around and since we missed so many deadlines due to staffing issues no one got any sort of substantial raise. And missing your once-a-year raise doesn’t just impact your pay for that year, it impacts it for every year going forward.

              • catloaf@lemm.ee
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                18 days ago

                I’m not sure I’d want to work somewhere that penalizes me for someone else’s faults.

                Have you considered finding a union to bring to your workplace?

                • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  17 days ago

                  So… most workplaces? Most companies have department wide goals and metrics that don’t change just because half of a department walks. Even in good workplaces, hiring to “right size” a team takes time, and most of the time the work still needs to be done, and there’s only so far management can stretch until it starts impacting external customers.

                  It sucks terribly. It’s not fair. Life isn’t.

                • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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                  17 days ago

                  Trust me, I don’t want to work here either, but having spent 6 months looking for a job and eating through my savings and knowing that I’m in no position to do that again anytime soon, I don’t exactly have many options. And yes, I’ve considered a union, but I also don’t want to end up unemployed again so I’m not going to be the one to champion that.

            • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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              18 days ago

              Unfortunately that’s not how it works.

              Boss turns around and says “new responsibilies. Get after them.” You’re especially fucked if the work is the type of tasks you are already responsible for.

              Sure, you can say no, or slow play it, but that just means you’ll either get a shitty review or get fired.

              I’m not justifying this, I’m recounting what often happens.

              • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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                15 days ago

                The downvotes are because you’re the kind of rug your boss cleans his boots on, making it worse for everybody in the company. You’re the problem employee.

                • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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                  15 days ago

                  Nope, just aware how the real world works.

                  When this happens my response is to go find another job

                  No where in my comment did I say I felt it was a good thing, or acceptable. It’s just common. You assumed I am cool with it cause it fits your worldview

                  Edit Tell me: you think you’re just going to say “no, I’m not gonna take on new or increased tasks” , and come out successfully at the end of the year? (In review, raise, or continued employment?)

                  The only move is to leave or do the work

            • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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              17 days ago

              You know what, fuck off. Who the fuck do you think you’re trying to impress? I know my fucking job sucks, I know the company I work for sucks and I know that almost everyone who works for this company is suffering. So what, fuck me for not wanting to make it worse on everyone else who isn’t in a position to just walk off the job? I wish I lived in your dream world where you never have to do things you don’t 100% agree with, it must be nice, but for me I’m living in this shit and I’m trying my best to take care of the people who count on me. So let me say, just to be clear: fuck you.

      • _sideffect@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        It’s not stupid as you put it. If you know the laws of where you live, it makes perfect sense.

    • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      There are many at-will states that can fire you on demand (if done carefully) and there’s nothing you can do about it.

    • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      There are two ways to quit: How management wants you to or because you’re forming a union.

    • rtxn@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      That only works in places with actual worker protection and labor laws, which disqualifies pretty much all of the USA.

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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        18 days ago

        I work with several European tech teams and when staffing issues happen the other devs absolutely have to carry the slack.

    • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      which they can’t outright as after a certain number of years they have to give warnings and trainings first.

      I mean, says who? There’s currently only one state in the union that requires cause before you can fire someone. The real issue with firing people is that without a documented cause, that person can collect state unemployment, and the number of people who go on state unemployment from a single company has a financial impact on that company.

  • ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Go into the office and waste every resource you can.

    Plug in a fan + heater + aquarium + massage pad at your desk and leave everything on constantly even when you leave

    Print every email and throw it in the trash.

    Make coffee 50x a day and pour it down the sink

    Flush a whole roll of TP every hour

    Leave sinks on in the bathroom

    Use entire tubs of soap to wash your hands

    Turn on the microwave for hours at a time

    Heat/cool office thermometer to force HVAC into overdrive

    Open new browser windows until your computer crashes and repeat until the network goes down

    Company wide meme emails that everyone participates in (team building) that crash servers and dominate inboxes

    Pour sugar/crumbs everywhere so there’s pest problems

    Accept every phishing email

    Put USB sticks found on the ground into your work computer

    Open the door for strangers who want to get in the building without a badge

    FORM A UNION

    (nuclear option) introduce bedbugs to all your bosses offices

  • lilja@lemmy.ml
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    18 days ago

    Well, yeah. Isn’t the whole point of these foolish office mandates to get people to quit? That way they can reduce their workforce without the cost and negative press of another round of layoffs.

    • gian @lemmy.grys.it
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      17 days ago

      Probably. But this way you have no control on who quit, with a good probability that are the better ones.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        17 days ago

        True, but execs see statistics, not people. And maybe it’s cheaper to rehire the good ones with a higher salary than deal with severance packages.

    • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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      18 days ago

      negative press

      pretty fucked up that quiet firing via RTO bullshit is less negative press than just laying people off

      • thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca
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        16 days ago

        It’s just less visible/explicit. It’s still bad press when it gets noticed and called out like in this thread, it’s just sneakier.

    • Punkie@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      Layoffs are not bad press. Not to the shareholders, the only ones who matter to these types. I used to think “oh, layoffs mean the company isn’t doing so good,” but shareholders see “they reduced cost but lost no customers, thus increasing value of the company should it be sold.”

      • The Dark Lord ☑️@lemmy.ca
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        18 days ago

        I hate that that’s the case.

        I’ve been trying to lose weight, so I chopped off my leg just below the knee. I’m several pounds down, and I didn’t have to stop eating even a calorie. It’s amazing.

        The only issue is that now I don’t have a leg and exercise may be difficult….

        • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
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          17 days ago

          Just sell the body to some other rube and move into a new one that still has both legs. It’s easy. What are you, poor?

          • edric@lemm.ee
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            18 days ago

            And you’re still alive right? /s. Akin to the people who said Musk’s firing of twitter employees was a genius move because the site was “still running” after all that.

    • ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      Go into the office and waste every resource you can.

      Plug in a fan + heater + aquarium + massage pad at your desk and leave everything on constantly even when you leave

      Print every email and throw it in the trash.

      Make coffee 50x a day and pour it down the sink

      Flush a whole roll of TP every hour

      Leave sinks on in the bathroom

      Use entire tubs of soap to wash your hands

      Turn on the microwave for hours at a time

      Heat/cool office thermometer to force HVAC into overdrive

      Open new browser windows until your computer crashes and repeat until the network goes down

      Company wide meme emails that everyone participates in (team building) that crash servers and dominate inboxes

      Pour sugar/crumbs everywhere so there’s pest problems

      FORM A UNION

      (nuclear option) introduce bedbugs to all your bosses offices

      • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        All that stuff together is probably only one salary per team, except for the Union. I think the Union is the winning idea.

      • veee@lemmy.ca
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        18 days ago

        Ok waste paper, mhmm, coffee, yep, microwave, good thinking—

        FORM A UNION

        Woah, woah calm down Satan.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        17 days ago

        You forgot the most important one: deliver just enough to not get fired, but way less than you did before RTO. Then point to the stats and show the massive productivity drop after RTO.

  • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    or they could fuck up key services with delayed code breaks before leaving. Programmers working for amazon should consider adding bullshit in the software and saying it was chatgpt

    Go into the office and clog all the toilets.

      • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        Don’t clog the toilets. It’s not the c-suites who have to clean that up.

        Nah, use cement, let the C-Staff pay for the plumbers/construction, they’d be more than happy to help out.

      • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        The toilets should be being cleaned regularly anyway, if they’re not you’ve just highlighted a major sanitation issue for the building.

    • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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      16 days ago

      Why quit when you could get paid to sabotage the company from inside and maybe get a swipe at performing a bezonian head removal ?

      • Pika@sh.itjust.works
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        16 days ago

        Naw you just wait to get fired and then submit unemployment for the job changing past what was agreed with

  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    I don’t know about everyone else, but if that were my boss, they’d be severely underestimating my capacity for petty behavior.

    • Odelay42@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      This is the part not being reported in the news.

      Many of us are simply working half as much as we did when we were remote. It’s not worth trying to impress these people. They hate us.

    • Lennny@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Rich fucks are pushing for Russia, why not take the most Russian thing and put it to use. Good call.

  • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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    17 days ago

    I’m 47. I’m not a boomer (although I’m probably hella-old compared to most here) and I’d just like to say: What a bloody bunch of boomer-bosses.

    “Have you tried disagreeing on a call! It’s hard!”

    Grow up man, use the hand up feature and state your case. I work in a fully remote business and we have better meetings here than any office based meeting I’ve ever been in. Calendars are public, confluence is prevalent, slack is the lifeline (thankfully very little email) for everything; with a bunch of “banter”, hobby channels etc. We start every large meeting with a “one personal and one professional highlight” before we commence. I know the people here better than I’ve ever done my office based colleagues.

    They are going to regret this. I do not know any developer who would prefer 5 days in the office. None. It’s not like Amazon’s compensation was that high. I really genuinely don’t understand how they expect to recruit.

    • billwashere@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      I think you might be surprised. There’s literally dozens of us gen-x’ers on here. (I’m 53).

      Luckily I work for a university and the hybrid thing is still going strong. Honestly I tend to get more done when I’m at home because the social aspect of being at work is very distracting for someone with ADHD like me.

      And I hope they do regret it. The only managers I’ve seen that push for the RTO thing are the micromanagers who think they are necessary for productivity. News flash, they aren’t. The best managers set expectations, shield their employees from the bullshit above them, give them the appropriate tools and work environments to be successful, and trust them to do what is necessary.

      And yes I’d never work for a Google or an Amazon. You’re a cog, a disposable piece of machinery.

    • MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      These people aren’t interested in hearing dissenting opinions. I’m sure they’ve already heard arguments for it. They just don’t care. They’d rather cut costs by doing something many people won’t tolerate so that they leave and then figuring it out after the fact.

    • zbyte64@awful.systems
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      17 days ago

      They are going to regret this?

      A company doesn’t remember, and the people who are actually responsible don’t have regrets cuz the other option was to hand over control to someone else (hopefully more qualified).

      • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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        17 days ago

        Myeah I know what you mean, but the people that get associated with a bad decision at the highest level will usually end up being told by the board before they’re let go. It’s all in private, but in my experience those discussions are reasonably frank.

        • zbyte64@awful.systems
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          17 days ago

          The board doesn’t “let go” of people willing to do a hatchet job, they hire them into their other companies to do the same. “Failing upwards” is a term that comes to mind.

          • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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            17 days ago

            Is that an opinion or backed by facts? I’ve never seen someone fired from a C-level role only to be hired into an investor’s other investment.

    • Eiri@lemmy.ca
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      17 days ago

      I do know a few devs who prefer 5 days in the office. But they’re absolutely the minority.

      Personally, I try to go once a week, but I usually don’t because I dread having a day with 50% my normal productivity.

      It’s just so noisy all the time in there. Open space and really high ceilings for “collaboration”…

      • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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        16 days ago

        Yeah and for that minority, they could still go into the office 5 days a week.

        My previous boss that found family members too distracting at home so he came in 5 days. But he was cool and told us "yeah don’t worry about coming in the days HR is telling you to, I come in every day and hardly anybody is here any way. " Oddly enough, most of the time we actually did come in on the days HR said because we didn’t want to get him into trouble for it.

        It’s almost like if the bosses aren’t complete assholes, people will actually want to come into the office more.

    • Feelfold@lemm.ee
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      17 days ago

      It’s tripping me up you had to point out you’re not a boomer instead of just saying you’re from Gen X.

      • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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        17 days ago

        On Lemmy, anything above 30 is a boomer, so I thought I’d start by pointing it out :)

    • travysh@lemm.ee
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      17 days ago

      This line of reasoning is baffling anyway. Amazon is spread out over multiple geographical locations, it’s not like remote meeting will go away

    • Ilflish@lemm.ee
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      17 days ago

      Ironically I’ve found it’s harder for people to run away in remote, people don’t disappear from their desks and you don’t have to chase them down. If they don’t message back and it’s urgent, you call and if they don’t pick up a call and haven’t marked themselves as such something’s up. People are extremely dilligent about making sure they use status’ due to the knowledge that people will assume that way.

      • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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        17 days ago

        An office is also a great place to hide away as “busy”; shuffling around, a bit of time at desk, join a meeting and say nothing, coffee, lunch, shuffling, another meeting with low contribution and you’re gone. Doing nothing is just as easy, and less assailable, in an office.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          17 days ago

          Almost as if there’s a reason that C-suite level people are so adamant about returning to office…

    • DandomRude@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Absolutely right. But the thing is that many so-called leaders will no longer have a raison d’être if there are no more unnecessary meetings and all that fuss. Many of them do nothing all day but sit in meetings, achieve nothing and still feel very important. That’s the misery of the world of work: it’s not usually the best who get into management positions, it’s not the most qualified and certainly not the ones who work the hardest. It’s the most unscrupulous, those who pass off the work of others as their own, people who would never achieve anything on their own or in a small company that can’t afford to waste salaries on froth-mongers. LinkedIn makes it clear how this all works, I think: there, too, it is not the competent people who really understand their work who have the most success, it is the busybodies, the networkers and narcissists. If the competent people set the tone, there would be no discussion about office duties in an IT company. It’s only held on to so that managers can live out their fantasies of omnipotence and post nonsense on LinkedIn.

    • Sentient Loom@sh.itjust.works
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      17 days ago

      They are going to regret this.

      I really hope they do. But now is a good time to put the squeeze on devs. Lots of people are having a hard time finding a software job and they’ll be extra reluctant to do a mass exodus.

    • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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      16 days ago

      “Have you tried disagreeing on a call! It’s hard!”

      When it’s an online meeting, they’re worried about it potentially being recorded. So what they’re really saying is that they can’t verbally abuse employees without there potentially being evidence of it.

        • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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          15 days ago

          The CEO of Zoom explictily stated that he felt in zoom meetings people were being too “friendly” and not willing to have “debate”.

          Why would it be bad for employees to be friendly? What employees want to have unfriendly debates in meetings? I think it’s just managers that want that. What kind of “debate” do managers want? Why do they not want meetings to be “friendly”? Methinks they just want to yell at employees and don’t feel comfortable doing it in zoom meetings for some reason…

          • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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            15 days ago

            But the leap you’re making is between a single statement from one CEO and the nebulous “they”.

            I’ve been pretty close to billionaire CEOs in my career and certainly the ones I’ve come across have been well equipped to handle the job, well adjusted and well meaning.

            • SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca
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              15 days ago

              Now you’re talking about CEOs as a nebulous they.

              I’m talking about a CEO that said things similar to what an amazon exec said under an article about what that amazon exec said.

              Also I work in software development. There has been a clear uptick in negativity towards developers where I work, which happens to be in a similar field to the one in the article.

              I’ve also worked with AWS, and I can tell you for sure, they can’t afford to lose their best talent. Their system is pretty janky in many places and their boss should be putting more effort in making better software instead of playing games about forcing people to sit in a specific chair 5 days per week.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      17 days ago

      Yup. We recently had a complaint that a collaborative meeting was difficult for people on call, so our solution was to make it 100% remote. The meeting is still collaborative, but now everyone has an equal opportunity to participate.

      We do 2x in office, 3x WFH, and it’s the perfect ratio IMO. Value of in-person time:

      • questions get answered quickly - easy to tell if someone is available for a quick question, and faster response than Slack
      • in-person collaboration - screen sharing works, but actually being able to point and type has a ton of value
      • casual discussions - chat about upcoming projects over lunch or a coffee break long before they’re actually important, which can make future meetings smoother

      All of that can be done remotely, and we certainly do a fair amount of that, but it’s nice to have a little in-person time. That said, my WFH days are sacred because that’s when I actually get work done.

      • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
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        17 days ago

        The worst meetings are the ones with people in a meeting room and people online. All in person or all dialled in (even if from an office desk).

      • billwashere@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        Yep the 2 in 3 out is what we do. We do have one day where we all try to be in (Tuesday) to just get the face to face time. Seems to working for us. Plus since most of the conversations are on slack, I can go back and verify what I thought was said. That’s SO convenient.

  • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    He pointed to Amazon’s principle of “disagree and commit,” which is the idea that employees should debate and push back on each others ideas respectfully

    That’s all fine and dandy for ending debate about a stupid roadmap feature, but “disagree and commit” is a different story when you’re asking people to spend 3 hours unpaid in a car everyday.

    • Banik2008@infosec.pub
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      16 days ago

      As a long time Amazon employee, disagree and commit essentially works like this:

      Employee: “I’m not convinced this is the best way to do something”

      Manager: “Noted, now stfu and do what I say”