“Baby baby, I brought you your toast again.”
Def annoyed her.
She hates the USA southern accent. While I grew up in a midwestern family, we spent some years in Tennessee when I was a kid. I pulled a hard southern accent on her yesterday. For like twenty seconds.
Sometimes when she tells me she’s going to do… anything, really, I just say something along the lines of “no”, “out of the question” or “you’re not allowed to do that”. Almost 15 years later, it didn’t get old - for me! - yet. As for her, I think at this point she just tuned out these things hahaha
Everytime someone sneezed, and she says “Gesundheit”, I quietly ask her, “Did you just say Kazoo Tight?”.
When she’d say “I guess” I’d pretend to have heard “heck yes” and get excited. Then I started with my kids. Now my daughter does it to her own friends and I’ve never been more proud
Whenever she tells me she’s going to do something I react “Hey honey, you should go and do something.”
“I’m going to the store to grt some milk”
“You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk”
I am going to write you a reply “Sometimes I think about narrating my own life” I said to myself as I finished typing.
When I leave her, just to go to the bathroom, or to the store or leave her in the car while I go into the store, I’ll say, “See you tomorrow” x 15 yrs
Sometimes when I come back into the room from the bathroom I’ll ask if she missed me.
Me (about to head down to the kitchen): Do you want anything from downstairs?
Him: No.
Me: Just me?
Him (with a sigh and a laugh): Yes, just you.
x19 years
She squirms when I gently mess with the little ringlets of hair on the back of her neck. It’s cute.
I’m single, so I have to settle to annoying everyone else around me by pretending like I’m going to start talk about politics
Works every time
I sneak up behind her and give her “tiger rubs”, which is aggressive up & down motion on the ribs & side meat.
She loves if x20 years
I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state “you’re a very useful girlfriend”.
I only do it a couple times a year at most.
The look of disdain is priceless.
She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.
“What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!”
Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.
Too much fun.
For Christmas my partner wanted me to write down my vows to them. So I bought some quality paper, and made a fancy card. On the front I wrote “I vow to…” then on opening it there was a big picture of Rick Astley and lots of lines scattered about such as “🎵 never gonna give you up…🎵” etc. etc
On the facing page I did write something serious and heartfelt, but the rick rolling was necessary.
I have a Mickey Mouse impression. A very, very vulgar Mickey Mouse impression.
Same, but it’s a Goofy impression.
…let me get this straight, you’re divorcing Minnie because she’s very silly?
I do that with everyone that tells me “I’m going to the bathroom”
I reply with “Good luck! 👍”
I usually say “have fun”
I say either but my favourite is “may the Force be with you”
Texted my wife to tell her I was heading to a mate’s place for “a dip in the pool and some pizza”, then followed up with a texted stream of consciousness, one line at a time, about how I was planning to eat the pizza - not dip in it, then pondering what dip on pizza would be like, followed be weighing up the pros and cons of about 4 or 5 different dips on pizza, and the different pizzas they might work on.
It took about 7 or 8 messages before I got her eyeroll response. Worth it.
Mine is finding a picture of an animal with its rear end towards the camera, and then saying “hey, guess what?” to her and when she says “what?” I show her the picture and say “Bunny* butt!”
*or kitty, doggy, etc
oh baby baby
I think it was there. I can’t imagine leaving it out.
