• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I mean, involuntary anything isn’t really a choice. It’s right there in the name.

    But the original self-professed incel was a woman, complaining that she was “unfuckable”. The term now tends to describe mostly men who feel fury at some social system that prevents them from caging a TradWife into their house, rather than the 00s era college NEET who just feels like their youth is being wasted because they aren’t getting laid.

    The cliquishness might be a choice, but the condition certainly isn’t.

    • constantturtleaction@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Celibacy is a lifestyle choice. Wanting sex and not having it, is not what I would call “involuntarily adopting a lifestyle choice”. Incel is rather, like you said, the feeling of being “unfuckable”. The problem, as I see it, is that the majority of men in this position are voluntarily “unfuckable”. They are actively being unlikeable by doing things like treating women like they they should be required to like them, which in turn, makes them “unfuckable”.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        The problem, as I see it, is that the majority of men in this position are voluntarily “unfuckable”.

        The original incel was a college aged woman who felt she was being rejected by all her male peers.

        There isn’t a shortage of incel women. They just don’t get the five alarm five media coverage and right wing political pandering that men do.

        Men are taught to fight one another for “prized” women, while women are taught that failing some commercial beauty standard means you doing get to have a love life.

        So you end up with these PUA communities on the guy side - insufferable horndogs constantly chasing tail - while women become hermits out of shame.

        Plenty of people in both pools are “fuckable”. But they’re poisoned into believing they can’t have mature relationships with one another by a mass media full of toxic tropes and derogatory standards.