Either as a kid or during adulthood
IRS agent, I had a clipboard and a plaid jacket. I looked the other way for an extra piece of candy. I came home with stuffed pillow case full sweets and a pencil, fuck those guys.
When I was 5 I wanted to be a chocolate chip cookie. I remember vividly driving up to a dumpster behind a big box store to find a single piece of cardboard big enough to make a me-sized cookie. Then I got all upset because everyone at school wanted to eat me 🤣
Zombie. At college I had a costume party coming up with few options. However I had a ripped sweatshirt and a bunch of plastic spiders and rubber snakes. A bunch more rips, some strategic dirt, and attaching the critters turned me into a passable zombie. I really liked the results.
Note: I wish I had the confidence to…… the winners at that party was a couple dressed in trash bags. Only trash bags
Back in colege we used to do a zombie pub crawl that was pretty epic. We’d start with 5-10 people each year, most of whom were makeup artists.
At every bar, people would ask to join, and we’d do their makeup! 1 year we ended up with 200 people, not including the 4 police officers who’d been assigned to our growing mass of the undead. They let us do their makeup, and were driving a runner car before and after us, as we no longer could keep contained to the sidewalks.
When I was in college I decided to go drag for Halloween. I got the gayest dude in our dorm to pick my outfit, wig, do my makeup, and make sure everything was perfect. Then a bunch of us went bar hopping and it was easily one of the best nights of my college life.
Not for halloween but for a friends birthday costume party when I was like 19: I strapped a cone of white paper to a head torch on my head, then sellotaped a piece of paper to my t shirt that said “I’m a fucking unicorn” and won the costume competition there lol. I didn’t know it was a costume party till last minute and improvised.
I have a big bushy beard which somewhat limits my costume options if I’m going for any kind of accuracy unless I want to wear a mask
My two standby costumes that I dust off when I find myself with unexpected Halloween plans are
A lawn gnome. I dye my beard white, put on a blue ren faire sort of tunic, a wide belt, and a red pointy hat
And a Monty Python lumberjack. Red flannel shirt partially unbuttoned over a bra, suspenders, high heels, and a knit hat. I also have a big ol’ double bit felling axe I may trot out if the occasion warrants it.
I suppose I can also lose the heels and bra and just be a regular lumberjack.
But what fun would that be??
Plague doctor in 2020.
I had been a plague doctor one Halloween several years before the 'rona hit. I definitely dug the mask back out and went grocery shopping with it a few times during the height of the pandemic.
“A bad night”
Handcuff on one wrist, dress shirt ripped, tie still on. Hair messed up, lipstick, blood, dirt, and no pants.
Went clubbing like that.
Not me, but my spouse. In 2008 as the economy was tanking, she went as a box of Franzia. Painted wardrobe box with 2 bladders of wine in there, she took days to paint the box like a real Franzia box. Thing must have weighed 20 pounds. Went to a parade and huge outdoor event and she was very popular. Those nozzles saw a lot of action, and were basically a public health danger 30 minutes into the night. The wine lasted hours and she ditched the box with some wine still in at some house party we passed.
Ninja samurai, not quite a samurai but wearing more (cheap plastic or foam) armour than a regular ninja. 9 year old me had it so good. The sword almost lasted a whole 20 minutes of play
Actually i.take it back, 10 year old had it better, a homemade bespin outfit luke skywalker and I got to use my lightsaber all night
I built a pretty sick Pyramid Head costume out of construction garbage from a demo I was doing at a hospital that I’m proud of. It’s my profile picture.
The two topics dominating the news at the time in my country was: speculations about a possible Russian submarine stuck in our archipelago, and the sudden increase of beggars with handwritten signs after Romania and Bulgaria’s accession into the EU.
So naturally I went to the party dressed like a Russian sailor, with a handwritten sign begging for money for plutonium “for make submarine back to motherland”. Complete with snorkling tube/mask and paper cup to rattle at people. I left the party with more money than I came there with even after paying for all my drinks (redbull vodka all night of course).
I once went as a TV. Basically just a huge painted box with a cutout with Saran Wrap over it as a screen and a pair of my dad’s suspenders to keep it on my shoulders. I have no idea how I collected candy in it, I suspect my parents had to actually do it for me.
Did way more Halloween stuff in my 20’s-30’s, slowed down a bit in my 40’s but still go out to events in October.
I was a Chilean miner in 2010, that one was fun since the mining accident in Chile was all over the news at the time and people immediately recognized the hardhat and whatnot.
Another year I had dressed up as a sort of sleepwalker complete with bathrobe, slippers, etc. But it turned out that was way too vague and everyone called me Hugh Hefner that night.
But most years I was a bit lazier and just turned myself into a zombie with makeup, fake blood, ripped clothes, that sort of thing.
A vandal. A visibly hand-made empty egg carton, a baseball bat, a ski mask, and a candy sack. Felt pretty proud of myself with that one.






