Roses are red, this drink’s made from laudanum…
Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal
Go full RGB, acquire “Gamer Balls”.
That’s this:
The RGB just makes you nut faster.
After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
To clarify why, it’s because sperm travels through those tubes for at least 5 days before reaching maturity and then once in position can be ejaculated by a pressure differential caused by the prostate (that bulb thing between the balls and urethra). So an effective switch with an instant effect would need to be placed before but directly adjacent to the prostate which could have potential complications when the prostate attempts to dry fire with the feed shuttered.
The solution is clearly to add a synthetic pressure bladder. (Don’t, I’m joking).
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor’s orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?
That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
Beat your meat in the missus?
Gotta wait for the clear bill of health
I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.
Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done
Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.
That’s just good science.
This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?
I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.
Yeah, but you still gotta go through it
I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.
Should’ve gone to Gainesville
Did you have to get a USE to join the band?
Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
Even worse
“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
Future kink
Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.
Don’t kinkshame me
Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?
Careful what you wish for
Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.
Who needs to turn their sperm release on and off so quickly? I understand wanting it to be easier than surgery but no one needs it so fast that you flip a switch. Deciding to have kids is a huge decision that often takes months of fucking to succeed at.
It’s for when you need to pee
No that’s so you can release it after you’ve pulled out. Its gotta go somewhere.
Need to set up a railway switch track in there. Divert unneeded loads to /dev/null/ and then hit the switch to return to the normal output track.
And so continues the search for the physical /dev/null. Every computer has one but I’ve yet to find it.
What if you don’t want to have kids with your concubine, but do want to have kids with your wife? What then… Mr smarty pants?
Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!
It’s that way when having a vasectomy
When I got a vasectomy, it was like 20 before they wanted to do a fertility test.
deleted by creator
ಠ_ಠ
Someone has made porn of this somewhere
I discovered this amazing life hack. If you never talk to women, you’ll never have sex with one and then you’ll never have kids.
I discovered a life hack to have sex without such a tool without getting anyone pregnant…
🏳️🌈
And I discovered a life hack to get pregnant through gay sex!
🏳️⚧️
D:
Forget the Codom and Get STIs
Bro forgot about committed and closed relationships
As a matter of fact, I’m in a committed and open relationship.
Hence why STDs are a concern for you, but not necessarily for everyone
This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”
Go go gadget dick
Can you reset any of the voice assistants to respond instead of Siri or Alexa or Bixby or whatever to “go go gadget?”
I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.
And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.
And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.
I’m in a loud public place so I didn’t attempt clicking/listening, but I heard both those sounds/music in my head anyway. I spent too much time on that game as a kid.
This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.
Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.
An even better birth control is Arch Linux. It’s free and open source. I use Arch btw.
As a fake internet doctor this is all I need to diagnose you as STi free
Wait won’t this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?
Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee
Not the same plumbing.
TIL. Thanks.
Contrary to common belief, pee is, in fact, stored in the balls.
Yeah, TIL about the meme. Whoosh for me.
Congrats! You were one of today’s lucky ten thousand!
I mean if you’re that worried it’d be more effective to build up a spank bank for making kids later and then just get a vasectomy.
