inb4 “Baby, don’t hurt me.”
But for real…what do people mean when they say “I love you,” or “Do you love them?” I’m really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they’re using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:
- I love pancakes.
- I love my mother.
- I love my romantic partner.
- I love my best friend.
- I love my career.
- I love going to the beach.
- My dog loves me.
- That couple is in love.
- Where is the love?
Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, “Do you love her?” What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that’s her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he’s not asking that. What is he asking??
Another specification is when people ask “Do you love them, or are you in love with them?”
I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.
Name of show
The show is Atypical on Netflix.
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I think it means you would go above and beyond for the object of your love.
Also I heard this somewhere and I agree: “Being loved gives you strength. Loving someone gives you courage.”
I do not know where you heard that but that’s a fantastic quote. I love you.
It’s how we bundle together stuff we enjoy with sexual desire and sell it as moral goodness.
For love as a standalone word, “value” is the most drop-in-compatible word. To say “i love you” is to say “i value you”.
The form of “in love” is a far greater mystery to me, and i usually just consider the speaker to mean something like “obsessed” or “infatuated”.
Baby do-oh…
Never mind.
OP is the fun police 😞
Different cultures have different takes but greek and Latin define different forms of love. From impulsive maddening love (why cupids arrow was seen so harmful) to dutiful love (the kind made through obligations made through shared commitments and aspirations) to brotherly love (trauma bonds, solidarity, commitment made from shared respect). There is also paternalistic love formed from empathy and a desire to protect. And of course love to describe the deep joy something gives you and desire to have it again.
When they ask “do you love her?” Based on the context I assume either or both love as a desire for the other or dutiful love, because both can be consuming for many and mean they would struggle to have that the capacity to share that same level of love with their current partner.
If they don’t and it was an act of lust* or curiosity then they’re partner may feel more comfortable with the commitment to them.
- impulsive love and desire can be heavily intertwined with sexual desire but that is a whole other interesting discussion to me
Downvote me for asking the Google Assistant (I know Lemminos despise Google), but this is what it had to say:
“Love seems like one of the most important things people can share.”
Baby don’t hurt me.
Howard Jones did a pretty good song dealing with this exact issue in the 80s
Message from the whole Lemmy community: we hate you for having inb4-ed our collective standard joke answer.
Signed: everyone but you 😜
fr lol
Don’t worry. We can still do the club dance where we bash their body back and forth between us using our chests to throw them around, making them spill their overpriced club drink!
I was going to say 42.
You explained it all. What is your question.
I love lamp 🤷🏻♂️
Baby, don’t hurt me? 🤷🏼♂️
I love carpet!
So no nginx for you
Many people use the word without reflecting on how they mean to use it. I’ve seen many a relationship fight indirectly over the ambiguity.
To love ___ means to care for ___ a lot.
Everything else is semantics or the common linguistic inaccuracy of multiple definitions for a single word.
English is kind of weak in this arena because we only have one word for love, but we can modify it to be more useful: romantic love and fraternal love. Any other use stems from these two, and will basically boil down to “I like ___a lot.”
Another specification is when people ask “Do you love them, or are you in love with them?”
“In love” means romantic love, I think. You want to spend your life with this person, probably every day, will overlook their faults and are enamored with the things they do, the way their brain works, etc.
Thank you. Agreed this is more an English language issue.
Between people it should be (in love ) — “I’m (in love ) with you”. Rather than “I love (like being around) you”
Buddhism defines metta as loving kindness, which also requires understanding because if we don’t understand another person’s needs it’s difficult to be loving and kind towards them.
In the show, what the person was trying to say is, I am feeling insecure that you may be more attached to her than you are to me. I.e., I’m scared you’re going to leave me for her.
Which is what we generally mean by love in our culture. At least what we mean by romantic love. A sense of attachment to the other person.
This isn’t always a bad thing. I can be a little shy so when I am in public I tend to show a lot of attachment to my girlfriend, at least until I get comfortable in the space. But it can be a bad thing, if someone is so attached that they let it get in the way of treating their partner with kindness. Act manipulative or aggressive when the person pulls away, for example.
