Poe’s law
TIL I ovulate every Sunday 😂😅
Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?
In europe we store our eggs unrefrigerated
Every day here and I don’t even have ovaries!
Possibly like “false pregnancy” in dogs?
I’m in heat thanks to climate change.
Congrats! 🎉🎉🌻
This is like when you teach someone that a swear is a greeting in a foreign language
🖕 peace among worlds!
if i fill her in will she respectfully become my gf ?
No, for that you have to fill her up.
Fill her up with love 🥺👉👈
Few squirts of liquid love
Damn I guess I’ve never ovulated in my life
Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.
Why not both?
Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.
Pretty sure it’s a joke.
We live in a post irony world and I literally can’t tell the difference without knowing the source.
The sad thing is that some people will take this advice.
And some woman will have a good laugh and a narrow escape
What’s sad about learning something new and getting laid?
I sincerely hope you’re /s ing.
Lol. I hoped that would be obvious.
Kids these days don’t remember the internet before /s, where you had to use context to tell of someone was being sarcastic or not.
Hi. Welcome to the Internet.
Have a look around 🎶
Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.
Certainly, m’lady!
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman sexually
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman financially
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman bureaucratically
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman maliciously
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman abstractly
Oh. Can I see the abstractly list?
Sounds fun
I was also curious about the abstractly. Release the list.
I found this one.
1. Assume interesting shapes
Hard to understand geometry can inspire curiosity. Intrigue her by adding more complexity to your configuration!
2. Playfully interact with her as different people
Hate to break it to you, guys, but not having a personality isn’t going to impress anyone. What will impress a lot of people is having 7, 8 or 9 different personalities that come and go as the mood changes.
3. Get close!
Close bonds often reflect a close geography, so try to be in the same room she’s in as much as possible. If she wanders into the kitchen for a soda, wander in yourself to wash your hands. If she’s talking to a friend in the hallway, talk to a different friend in the same hallway.
4. Be funny
Comedy can be extrapolated from this base formula:
P = ¬P
Such an expression being true would require the dissolution of all fundamental axioms of logic and reason, and is therefore funny. Try explaining this to her.
5. Be mysterious
Nothing is more sexy than a masked man of mystery. Show her how mysterious you are by playing ominous sounds while describing a job you don’t know you have, and people you don’t remember speaking to!
6. Be
The best way to make yourself available to a woman is to have an existential presence in our natural world.
7. Share the things you have in common
Impress her by ovulating with her!
8. Don’t be afraid to be saucy
Demonstrate your wild side by flopping about or rubbing against nearby objects and furniture.
But don’t get carried away. Being too floppy can be off-putting. Try to match her level of floppiness.
9. Gifts make the heart grow fonder
Gifts are a great way to establish a connection and to show how much you care. Try giving her the gift of self-love, or the depth of pure sadness. You could also teach her to be less co-dependent!
10. Try MDMA!
Ecstacy looks really weird in movies. This could be a great way to experience something new together!
You probably saved the whole date/relationship right at the end there.
release the abstractly files
I want to know how to maliciously flirt. Hey sexy, want to come to my place and stick your fingers in the power outlet?
Negging, maybe?
“Damn, you vacuum so well… for an ovulating female.”
That kind of thing.
Tell her “three yellow squares in a row, and beneath them a big purple circle.” Next thing you know, you’re being passionately shagged.
Shagged or stabbed?
For some, there’s little difference.
bureaucratically
Please complete forn 69-J (in triplicate) if you’d like to grab dinner.
Sex has to be announced 2 weeks prior using the relevant form.
69-J?
Did you fill out and submit duplicates of your Unsubtle Innuendo Requisition Request Form?
You definitely need to get Permit A 38 first.
You know what, I think I’ll file my taxes instead.
In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.
Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy im arguing with points that out.
And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.
… not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as “sweetie”, “honey” or “babe”.
I think “toots” has been overlooked in this comment
If she doesn’t, tell her she’s acting crazy.
Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.
Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.
I saw the reply in my inbox and had a reaction to “females” there, like “ugh, not one of THESE folks who still talk like that.” Because I didn’t remember the nature of this thread until I got back into the comments :)
Oh yeah. Zero chance of back fire. Zero. Had sex all my life - once with a women. Trust me.
once with a women. Trust me.
Stop bragging
This must be why the site is still in Beta
I’m surprised they fought the urge to stay alpha forever
I do all the vacuuming here.
Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as “incel drivel” and thrown into the fire.
Username is definitely relevant. :)
I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.
Have a good day.
“No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!”
Suckers gonna suck
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
Madam, my compliments to your ovaries 🎩💪🏼🥚🙇
My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.
Why, thank you, I’ve just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.
Pretty sure that’s my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.
