Occasionally get rowdy with some light punching, has devolved into some wrestling until someone’s hurt. Happens less as we have gotten older and we don’t bounce up off the floor and shake it off like we used to. Hugs with other guys are limited to a friend’s uncle and his husband.
No and no,
Yup, it depends on the person but at least in my life many male friends are physically affectionate. Admittedly some of these are affectionate via general sparring, which started in our teens and never went away.
buddy I’m a furry I’ll hug strangers
Nope and yes. I would not personally, but more freedom = good in my book
No. No
Why?
I prefer women for physical affection.
I do, too, but I’ll take a good hug from anyone I know and care about. I’ve noticed my male friends who are black seem to add a hug into a handshake far far, far more often than my white male friends. In fact, other than my oldest friend, I don’t think any of my white male friends have ever hugged me.
No & no.
No, it’s not socially acceptable. Yes, I wish it were. I don’t know if I’d go for full on snuggling but I come from a physically affectionate family and in general wish people were more comfortable with that kind of thing
No, it’s not socially acceptable. Yes, I wish it were.
Like, does this mean you are afraid of other people you don’t know judging you, or that you or your friends find it socially unacceptable?
Either way that seems to be more of an individual problem rather than a social one. I am physically affectionate with my friends and have never been confronted about it by a member of the public , not that I would really care if I were. People be dumb, I’m not going to let someone else’s projected homophobia dictate my friendship.
That it would be viewed as awkward and unwelcome by the other participants. Consent is key, yo
That’s a good view. You’d be surprised who is down for a hug, though.
My friend group usually goes for the handshake hug. This led to things like when someone is having a hard time we hug it out.
We also compliment each other a lot. It’s nice. Some of these guys didn’t get compliments until our group started doing it to each other. You can watch someone who doesn’t get a lot of compliments change their body language from closed off to confident just by letting them know you like their shirt or that their haircut looks great.
Start easy with the handshake back pat. Easing into it can overcome some of the awkwardness that causes people to shy away from physical contact. Not everyone will be down for it, and you’re right that consent is key. Maybe it won’t work, but you’re not out anything by giving it a shot.
I mentioned in my other reply that my hiking group hugs when we meet, which started as a joke when the women did, then stuck. Now, when someone new joins you can feel the emotion of missing out when they arrive, and the acceptance when it happens as they leave.
Next time a mixed gender group meets, and the women hug the women and men, etc, start a ridiculous laugh and pretend to hug one of the dudes. If he does, you may have started a trend.
Interesting. I come from a family that wasn’t very physically affectionate, and I hug most of my friends every time I see them.
I go for the hug when I see friends I haven’t seen in a long time, or when I’m parting ways with someone I know I won’t see for a while. But it’s definitely not a regular occurrence
An occasional hug if we are drunk enough, and I don’t want anything more than that.
I’m becoming more comfortable with shoulder pats n shit, hugs too. Wrestling isn’t my jam anymore. Gimme a dagorhir sword, or some other foam sword and let’s have a no-holds-barred swashbuckle.
Somewhat. Hugging yes, snuggling no, playful wrestling when certain friends are particularly drunk.
Yes, I do wish it was more socially acceptable
Frodo and Sam should be fucking role models, especially the book versions who were even more deeply close than the films.
I mean, honestly, for fantasy, the entire Lord of the Rings series is replete with strong men expressing emotion in healthy ways to deal with the horrors of what they were facing. They sing deeply loving songs for fallen comrades, notably Boromir even after he makes a grave mistake, already forgiven, while giving him the best of funerals they can (In their song for Boromir, Aragorn even calls Boromir beautiful[1]). They cry for one another and feel great distress at the suffering of those in their fellowship. They carry each others’ burdens up to Sam literally carrying Frodo up Mount Doom. Anyway, they weren’t unwilling to show physical affection or speak highly of another’s beauty.
“His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest,” In every context of Toklein using the word “fair” in LOTR, it has been taken to mean “beautiful.” ↩︎
It was really interesting to watch. I know Tolkien didn’t write the entire series as a reflection of WW1, but while watching longer clips of WW1 british soldiers (particularly in non-combat scenarios), I was struck at just how playful and affectionate they were with each other, even POWs that they were relaxing with or sometimes, playing with. In some sense, I feel like the culture around physical affection was just a bit different back then, and people were less guarded. Feels like some of that seeps into Tolkien’s books :)
Nope. Can’t say I’ve ever ‘snuggled’ with the boys. The rest… maybe in the context of team sports at some point in life, but there were many layers of machismo layered on top of it.
I think in general there was a sense of camaraderie and sensitivity that those friendships had, which may be surprising from the outside given they had all the trappings of toxic masculinity.
I miss that aspect, but I’d rather not have a physically affectionate relationship with my friends now. A hug when we meet is the limit. Wrestling as a grown adult would be the last thing I’d participate in. I would probably end a friendship if someone tried to grapple with me unprompted
Usually hugging for saying hi or bye, just like with women.
Beyond that, not really? But then I’m not a very physically affectionate person with anyone, independent of gender. Except Pepper - my cat.
Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.
As for snuggling, I wouldn’t want to snuggle with anyone that I didn’t have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don’t snuggle with guys. I don’t know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.
I will reciprocate hugs.
I don’t like snuggling.
Playful wrestling gets really close to other acts to establish dominance that I don’t want to do with my friends.
