Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I’m struggling to cope. What are the ways you’ve dealt with heartbreak in the past?
Time
This is the only real answer here.
Every other answer is in some way just making your perception of time accelerate.
But the only way to process emotional loss, of a close loved one; is with time. That’s just the way our brains are wired. We couldn’t survive as a species if we didn’t get numb to pain and trauma in the past.
Time with no contact. Any contact with the person and you are reopening the wound. Unfollow, block, they don’t exist.
No contact with the ex, but spend time with whatever community you are part of.
Sucks when you have kids with them and a shared friendship group.
Yes, time. But what do you do while the memories fade and replaced with? Friends, family, work, hobbies. I picked up a guitar after a devastating break-up that ate a lot of that time needed.
Yeah, the trick is to get really engaged into something that you don’t have time to think about it.
Same as I deal with everything. Alcohol. Lots of it.
It sucks big time for a while, there’s no set time for how long. What I can tell you is once some of that fog has cleared and you can focus on yourself, you can learn to fall in love with yourself again. At least for me, I realized I had my positive emotions tied so much into my old relationship that I didn’t know how to cope without that relationship there. We definitely had some co-depency issues that were extremely unhealthy, and without all that to distract me, I could finally start working on myself and figuring out who I am. What I want and don’t want. It’s a long road but if you can focus on self care and improvement, it will make things much easier and more fulfilling in the long run.
Listen to sad music, focus on hating myself for failure, self harm, drugs and booze.
Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Take care of yourself. Eat well and stay hydrated, do whatever exercise and focus on yourself and your goals. Perhaps travel. Live for you and you will find someone else without looking.
Lemon Italian Ice helps me feel better when I’m upset about something
Went on a hike and just sat and looked over a lake for some time. I then realized I was extremely happy that I got to know her, but also that she told what she felt. I also think I got proud of myself, I never thought I would meet some one at all but now I knew it was possible
Go gym
Time is unfortunately the best medicine. Just take it one day at a time. Don’t stay in contact with them. Reach out to your friends and try to fill your time spending time with them.
Main thing is to keep yourself distracted. The ruminating will come, but right now you need to heal. I wasn’t able to clearly reflect on my ex and our relationship for easily over a year or so later.
Booze and hookers
Grindr’s been a big help.
Nothing gets you over the last one like getting under the next one. Or two. Possibly five.
Tryna deal with it right now, going back to the bar where I met my ex
Will update in like 2 hrs
It’s been 7 Hours, you ok?
The healthiest way I’ve ever dealt with heartbreak and grief is by putting physical energy into something. Building stone walkway, planting a garden, working out, etc.
Being able to focus on something else will help you from becoming physically and emotionally overwhelmed. Peace, understanding and equilibrium will come with time, the immediate aftermath is the time to move and do something so you don’t get consumed by your feelings.
It’s always okay to cry. People I never thought would understand have supported me.
Don’t even get in a relationship.
I have to go now crying to sleep from loneliness.
At 40 we turn into wizards, keep the ultimate goal in mind.
Isn’t it supposed to be 30?
Nope, at 30 you become some sort of pre stage, but wizardry happens at 40. 30 would be way too easy.
They changed it to 30 just before the medieval age happened, didn’t go well, so they fixed it after a couple centuries.
As others have said, keep yourself busy or distracted. Try and release the stress you feel through exercise. Avoid using food/alcohol/drugs to cope, as they can easily turn into a crutch and then an addiction.
Talk to a friend or therapist about it! It took me over six months before I really started processing my divorce.
Remember that you are an amazing person. Have love and compassion for yourself. Be patient with yourself.
The actual hurt hurt only seems to lessen with time.
