The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.

  • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Side 2 has not actual relevance to the problem itself. These societal tropes are not why men are having a hard time finding women. It’s just a societal trope posing as an explanation.

    Side 3 is the only relevant issue. Men are constantly told they need to be more vulnerable or their masculinity is toxic, and yet when they express themselves vulnerably, they’re punished for it.

    The problem is that the people touting the toxic masculinity narrative (feminists) don’t take into account how much women reinforce toxic masculinity.

    The deeper problem: feminists think they represent women to a far greater extent than they actually do. The fact of the matter is that most women don’t identify as feminists, and therefore feminists are representing liberal gender beliefs, rather than most women. Don’t get me wrong: I actually agree with feminists on balance, but their messaging is garbage, divisive, bullshit. Feminism is far too consumed by misandry to effectively argue their points in a way that could persuade the majority of men and women to support them. This is why they encounter so much failure when their cause is actually 90% right.

    • Goldholz @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      13 hours ago

      Side 2 is very relevant. If you are lonely you get easily into very terrible sides of society and mindsets. I speak from experience. If you dont have a sense of belonging you also have no sense of self, but then come people that tell you to have a part in their group because of race, religion, nationality, or any other extremist reason.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        9 hours ago

        If you dont have a sense of belonging you also have no sense of self,

        Not sure I agree with that. I don’t have much sense of belonging but I know exactly who I am. If anything that’s why I usually feel like I don’t belong.

      • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        Fair enough, I should have been clearer. I recognize that social isolation has deleterious effects on people. The part I was dismissing was the attribution to capitalism. Capitalism does not cause this effect. Other factors are responsible.

        • EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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          10 hours ago

          Would you accept “under-regulated capitalism” or “capitalism treated as an ideal rather than a tool” as a more specific root cause?

          • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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            9 hours ago

            No, because it’s just not related to capitalism at all. Lemmings love to blame capitalism for everything, and you see it in every bad thing in the world.

          • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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            9 hours ago

            No. That is not an effect of capitalism. That is just a fact of rural living. God, Lemmings love to blame capitalism for everything.

            • Goldholz @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              9 hours ago

              What made the car industry big? What convinced them to tear down everything and make everything cardepended? Why does the oil and car industry lobby so hard and spread missinfo about public transport and closer living together?