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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • alot of us in that millenial range who were “spared” the diagnosis or just missed, are less likely to fight doctors on the topic as well. more doctors are better informed on newer information about autism. add to that, some of us paying attention to that information and expecting better lives for our kids then we or our undiagnosed parents got.

    my mom spent the first 3 years after my sons diagnosis sending me lists of reasons i should give the doctors to say they were wrong. that finally stopped when she “offered parenting advice” on getting him to stop some visible stims. i stopped humoring her perspective and started silently making way too intesne eye contact inwas forced to learn, with no expression, until she got uncomfortable and left. for decades after “discovering” autistics existed, there were fewer autistics because we said there were fewer autistics.


  • It can in fact thunderstorm and snow at the same time. can even do it while alternating between rain and snow causing layers of ice hidden in snow. if you’re moving to a place that does this, just stay in doors and enjoy the show. if it’s one of the regions that can also spawn tornados during these storms. you watch the storm on tv from a basement.

    oh i dont see it in the comments yet. all of which are great. proper snow boots. even it only snows a little where you are. just because i can walk across an ice rink on leather soles doesnt mean i’m ever going to. if the experiance of walking on ice and snow is new, use footwear meant to help you from slipping. plus they hold up better to road salts and deicing chemiclas if they’re used there.




  • thats fair, it is a wait and see kinda gamble. all my working drives including replacements had about 2.5yrs run on them. the bad batch was all 3.5 yr range. one never powered on, the others dropped within 24 hours. that extra year age could be less the cause itself, as likely they were pulled from the same datacenter and the issue with the drives was more how they were treated at that datacenter.

    usecase matters too. this raid with used drives is my media server and uptime was a factor. my nextcloud is a pair of new 8tb drives plus an rsync to a backup. which i could afford to do by going used where i can. (and before my selfhosting friends here boo nextcloud, its the only web ui my elderly parents could use on their own. so calm down ya clowns)


  • awesome write up!

    Just did a raid 10 off cheap 12tb datacenter drives myself. sure i had to return 3 to get a working set plus a spare. but thats why you take the time to check them. ALWAYS test your used drives. the resellers churn through batches of these things in the hundreds. sometimes you get lucky and they all work, sometimes half your order just got pulled from a bad batch and you spend a half hour getting them exchanged.


  • If you just want a server with a very small footprint and good specs there are far better options. If you like using macOS and will occaionally use it like a desktop while also having some hosted services running in VM full time. Then yeah the minis are great little systems and fairly indestructable. If i went back to daily driving macOS outside work, i’d just buy a mini. But i’d only pay out for a mini if i’m actually gonna use macOS.




  • it’s gonna depend on the size of your work place really. hr isnt so much the group that is a resource for you the human. think of them like the IT dept that manages the human resource. if you’ve plainly stated your boundry to that person. “it’s not your business what my mood is, if your uncomfortable with me not behaving in the excited mannor you want. that is a you problem”. it’s on your manager to ensure the other person respects that boundry. and if your manger doesnt do that, hr should definitely care because thats a problem. that said. it’s far easier for everyone to just say “smile more, we’re a family and we all behave the same way” in smaller org. and you’ll have to decide if staying in a place that wont respect you boundries is healthy. my work pays me to complete specific things, not fill in someone’s social circle because they need a trapped audiance to maintain friendships. i was lucky in my current org to have a manger who caught a situation like you describe happening to me and take zero nonsense from the other person. and now that i’ve worked with that expectation, with someone who would enforce that, i’m not willing to consider my persoanl life part of what the org is paying for.



  • because thats the lived reality of how the us political system works right now. the actual options may not be great. telling my gay friends their marriage may need to stop existing all together for little bit, so I can pretend I took a stand against the system with a socialist party vote is some childish nonsense. yes we need systemic change. thats a conversation with receptive people who need to be in positions to do something in the first place. its that or 3rd parties take themselves seriously and focus locally. in my area there a man dress as a fucking pirate every cycle for the socialist party. its him or a democrat, those are the options on the left. we can play make believe hypotheticals or start having actual discussions about this shit next month. this is not that moment, that moment was 3 years ago but it required effort. this is act with empathy or throw a temper tantrum time.


  • people think we didn’t try talking first. telling them to fuck off, refuting their trash ideology or even trying to persuade them out of it. they loved that shit. they were there to talk but they were not there for any great debate. fuckers were there to recruit, it was preditory. they did not fuck off until it was clear we would make them, AND that we’d do it before they opened their mouths. they fucked off when the recruitment pool was closed to them.

    guess i can see how on paper a bunch of kids living off pabst and shoving eachother around to loud music, was a good hunting ground. they read that particular room wrong though. and “punch them until they left” was they only way they were gonna go.


  • the article ends on a pitch for an ai bot making your paid posts. it’s trash. the article itself is the kind of lazy trash you get when you start leaning into monitization. you’re right, the fediverse isnt a monolith, not even inside distinct cultural regions.

    for me at least. the answer to more media like this article appearing. so we grow an have more content and grow more. will be finding somewhere else to be. thats just the social media cycle. something cool gets made. a community starts forming. someone says “look at those idiots. dont they know how money works? a few of them could be making so much of it. i’ll show them how and make some myself too”. the rough edges of the space get smoothed out because if you want to make the site sucessful it should look more like how the sucessful spaces look. and a bunch of people move on to make something new again while bots have arguments with bots.


  • creators are welcome to post in the fediverse and tag their paid platform so long as they respect the rules of whatever community they post in. everyone has to eat. turning the fediverse into a tansactional platform is just coporate social media with extra steps. the articles getting downvoted because its one step shy of a linkedin ad disguised as a post. if i wanted to read posts about the beauty of the grind or some other nonsese, i’d be on fucking twitter or facebook. this place exists specifically to not be those places.



  • It’s this uninvited commenting on the bots part that has me downvoting it. It’s presenting itself at an authority here. If a user in the comments called the bot to fact check something and the bot did a bad job, i’d just block the bot. I’d even be able to look over that users history to get an idea of the bot’s purpose. But this bot comes in and says “here’s the truth”, then spits out something i’d expect to see on twitters current itteration.

    If the problem you’re trying to solve is the reliability of the media being posted here. Take the left/right bias call out and find a decent databse on new source quality. Start the bots post out with resources for people to develop their own skill at spotting bad news content.

    If the problem you’re trying to solve is the visibility of political bias in content posted here. So the down vote button isnt acting as a proxy for that. Adding a function for the community to rate left/right lean like rotten tomatoes sounds interesting, so long as you take the reliability rating out of the bot. You can’t address both media reliability and political bias in one automated post. nyt and npr being too pearl clutchy for my taste. and some outlet that only exists only on facebook having the same assumed credibility as the associated press. are wildly different issues.


  • I’m in the same spot and 95% settled on moving to debian.

    xubuntu has been good to me the last 10yrs. But its been about xfce, ubuntu got be part of the relationship because it was easy when i knew very little about linux. that and it can run well on a potato with a bunch of computer parts just duct taped randomly onto it. which is basically what my dumpster dived laptop was 10 yes ago.