Where does “it used to work, but now it doesn’t, and I don’t understand how it could ever have worked” fit in?

Uggh, those standards are so bad. I hope you are somewhat comfortable with your current setup.

Started by going through the official system, went diy after they went from treating me bad to horrible. And it honestly gave me a lot of confidence to not feel like I depend on those assholes anymore, even if I go back later. It still broke me a bit that I no longer trust doctors.

Maybe you can get a new assessment with a different doctor, if you still want that?

If you can afford it, it sounds like going to a therapist to unravel your feelings and possible trauma could be worth it. A good one will not tell you if you are trans, just help you along the way. If you can’t then some lgbt groups offer help to questioning people too.

You don’t have to rush it just because the vial might expire. Do it on your own time, experiment with other things (thought experiments, clothes…) if jumping to hormones is too much. Remember that it’s not a magic juice that instantly turns you girly, you can always stop if you feel weird on it.

Also, do you trust her this much? I’m a trans woman on DIY but I’m getting mine from a source I’ve seen other buy from and talk good about. You also need to spend some time researching doses and what blood tests to do first too.

Here’s one without trackers that work in a browser https://ftvt.fiona.onl/

I helped a bit making the recording part 🤓

Damn now you made me want to learn COBOL just for the meme…

Same, but I guess if you have a idea you want to build then using a language you are already comfortable with makes it a lot smoother than learning one that could be a better fit.

But you should probably touch it before all the dependencies are outdated. And before everyone who understands how to work with it has left. Especially if it happens to be core to the business.

:)

My mom suggested it. I thought it was the most stupid name suggestion so far, but smiled and nodded because I was happy that we were having a genuine talk about my transition without the negativity that we would often end up with.

After a few months I realized that I kinda love it and, as you say, nothing really clicked the same way. It’s been about 2 years since I legally changed it and I still get a warm feeling when people use it :)

Also, nothing weird about the name Eva! If it feels weird to tell people how you came up with it, you are allowed to not mention that the idea came from a TV show.