I mean I’m not going to throw shade at pot smokers but if you can explain to your niece why your jacket smells funny, you can explain why that other kid has two moms.

I’m terribly sorry. I’ve always been a creeper. Violetta says I creep like the kudzu vines that are slowly but surely strangling our Dixie

In those cute submarines made out of a spare water heater and an Xbox controller.

Well that’s like your opinion, man

Yeah but I ran right past it because by the English grammatical rule of jorts, a bench made of doors is a dench.

Which one of you animals didn’t use a coaster on Dame Judy Dench??

Yeah but like why not? Acting stupid is a thing.

Yup they’ve been huffing that “meritocracy” paint thinner for too long, a term which used to be sarcastic but everyone seems to have forgotten that part…

He did say “they”

gestures broadly

I actually like Jaeger but can’t find what this recipe would be. I saw someone made Jaeger pops out of cranberry juice and Jaeger which sounds OK but not this color. I’m guessing they used white grape juice and a shitload of food coloring for this, assuming it’s not just a stunt for the gram

I’d rather go to some nice lady who know what all herbs do what than Dr fuckin oz

I’m like not 100% sure what floor traders even do besides pose for reaction photos when the stock market does something. Basically professional mourners but for capitalism.

I treated myself to some fancy oolong that I’ve been brewing “grandpa style” for the same reason

Michael: GOB, get rid of the Seaward

Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready

So…just a C?

Ah yes the fucking police, who are famously un-unionized.

Fuck it, slice me off a piece

Smoke breaks: smoking will happen during your shift and you will ash your cigs into the fabric scrap bins.

Thank you, Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Management

Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

Still got bars though