vibinya

Ya… honestly I wouldn’t put much stock in Internet insults- easier said than done, I know. I think it’s really easy to get lost in our screens and forget the real world is incredibly different. It’s really frustrating how our brains sort through things- you’ll get a lot of positive feedback, and then one or two negative comments and that’s what our brains decide to focus on. I think it’s fairly normal for a lot of people, but I think it’s worth working on training your brain to untangle those types of thoughts. I recommend looking into Cognitive Distortions!

I think it’s really about going at your own pace and being patient with yourself! I’m still trying to find my happy middle as well.

For hair, find a local non-chain salon, and let them take care of you. They’ll work with you, recommend the right products for your hair type and the style you’d like to go for. I gave up trying to style mine and instead just super take care of it. I personally wash it once or twice a week with a fairly expensive Japanese shampoo/conditioner that my stylist recommended (I’ve been seeing her for over 11 years and we’re great friends… She’s been such a huge help through my transition). I also started to decorate it with cute bows and hair bands- I really recommend this! I’ve even started making my own!

Makeup is another story - I’ve been struggling, but honestly really care more about having healthy skin. Definitely start building a skincare routine so your skin starts to naturally glow. I also recommend a BB cream if foundation doesn’t feel right for you (not a fan of foundation tbh). From there you can find a tinted chapstick if you want some color for your lips. As much as I’d love to give you pointers on eye makeup - this is my biggest struggle area right now, but we’re just getting started so practice and patience!

It can be really disheartening seeing other women just radiate beauty, but remember that they’ve had many many years of practice and definitely struggled when they first started 🩷

Started going to a small local coffee shop a little over two years ago, and I’ll never go back to the giant chains. The people working are always happy, greet regulars by name, always go out of their way to interact or talk with me- usually remember something we talked about before, comp my orders every now and then, host little events, etc. It’s not just them either - I always have a way better experience going to non-chain coffee places. Oh, and the coffee is always waay better and priced better.

I think your feelings on this are super valid. Each step can be a bit scary, especially when you aren’t sure how people in your life are going to react. Pronouns and gender identity are your choice 🩷 remember that it’s not about passing or having certain checkboxes checked, it’s about how you feel and what you’re working on/towards! One aspect of transitioning is finding people who respect who you are and who you want to become without gatekeeping or forcing their personal versions of gender on you. Women can have beards, body hair, deep voices, balding, huge muscles, etc - it’s fine if you don’t want these things for yourself, but none of these are a reason to think you aren’t valid as a woman.

If you can, I super encourage you to try to find more queer places and people to interact with. You’ll find there’s a huge spectrum of gender presentation and identity - it really helped me feel confident and comfortable with my choices and feelings.

I guess it depends how your emotions resolve. If you don’t want to be seen as a boy/man, then you can ask them to stop calling you that without elaborating further. I personally would not have friends or continue to stay in a space where people didn’t respect my identity, pronouns, or whatever label I choose for myself.

For my transition I’m not looking to be seen as or called a boy - period, so being called a femboy would cause me the same pangs as being misgendered.

I think the thing I would think about is if you’re okay with people deciding who you are. Sure, there’s some affirmation as they see you as feminine, but once you open up to these people about your goals, will they respect you or continue to call you something that doesn’t align with your transition.

When I signed up they had a very easy process which allowed migration of playlists. I believe it was a 3rd party utility/website which you could actually use to migrate playlists from and to any of the music streaming services.

I absolutely love Tidal as well. Was a long time Spotify subscriber, but their UI/UX decisions, especially for their desktop client, finally frustrated me enough to switch. Had almost no issues moving my playlists over, have a shuffle which actually shuffles, still have daily recommendation playlists, and my favorite part -patch notes; I know what’s happening and why. They actually listen to user feedback and make updates based on it.

I definitely can’t argue about the size of their library! While the continued dragging of their feet on HiFi was frustrating (years of telling us it was coming), the thing which finally drove me away is their constant tweaking of playlist and queue management.

I mainly use their desktop client and controls would disappear with each update- no way to block songs, inability to remove a song from auto generated queues, playlists not syncing between devices, songs being weighted in a shuffle. I made a post on their forums about the missing options for their autoplay queues- their response was that while there was no button or context menu option to remove a song, I could select it and use the delete key. I just gave up on whatever type of user experience they want me to have.

I did recently and will not be going back to Spotify. There are so many small things with Tidal - actual patch notes each update, updates which clearly address user reported concerns/issues, straightforward playlist management and queue controls, an actual shuffle that isn’t some weird interaction based algorithm, and of course the quality. There’s been so many times I’ll be listening to a song, which I’ve listened to many times on Spotify, and notice something in the backing track which I wasn’t aware of or some aspect of a singer’s voice or instrument which really pops and adds texture. They also have great recommendations and a Daily Discovery playlist. And finally - it’s just music; no scrolling through podcasts or non-music this… Just high quality, easy to manage, music.

I don’t think I see knowledge in a digital vs non-digital sense. People often learn things in different fashions - I’m sure you’ve heard people say they are visual learners vs auditory or something like that. There is some truth to that, but overall it’s easier to remember and retain things when we’re exposed to them in a variety of ways. Teaching someone or explaining something you just learned is a great way to retain things- yes, it may come out all over the place at first, but you’ll often find it becomes easier as you revisit the topic or try explaining it again later. There’s also a difference between knowing something and understanding something. You can watch tutorials on something, but until you start applying that knowledge, it might not feel as tangible. Oftentimes, there’s a point with any knowledge where we hit a wall and mentally spin our wheels trying to understand it- super normal, else everyone would be experts on everything. Overcoming that wall usually means taking some steps back and picking up some pieces of knowledge which we might not have been exposed to previously. This is one of the reasons we’re seeing more education efforts focused on Project-Based Learning.

I did! I do think it’s a great alternative, but when moving some of my playlists over, I saw too many missing songs. They were my more niche playlists/genres so I was kind of expecting it. Tidal didn’t have all of them either, but did have more so I decided to go with them.

One place I frequent anytime I’m looking for an upgrade or just general information is https://www.superbestaudiofriends.org/index.php

The people there tend to discuss things which can go slightly over my head, but that’s something I appreciate since it gives me things to look into and learn.

My current chain is Tidal + Schiit Asgard DAC/amp + Audeze LCD-X. Moved from Spotify to Tidal last month and will never go back. I definitely prefer headphones over speakers, but have really been enjoying IK Multimedia iLoud Micro Monitors.

Started working for my current company as tech support. No degree, in a homeless shelter, just good with tech and helping people. It bothered me not understanding how things I supported worked, so I started to teach myself to code and offer ideas for potential fixes when submitting tickets. Ended up being approached and hired by the head of development who allowed me to continue learning on my own. I’ve been with them for 12 years now, and in the first few years hobbled together the product/feature which became their flagship. Find people who are eager and excited to learn and they’ll thrive.

That’s been an issue for me as well. DDG is my default search engine, but the majority of the time I have to add the !g as it struggles with context. It’ll find plenty of results matching the words I type in, but not quite understand that how those words are arranged matter.