You can’t live without the suffering, but you can live without the emptiness and hopelessness. You can escape misery, even if there is still pain.

Oof. Regardless of how much you’re able to do, you would still be considered what you wish you could be

I know what you mean, and you are correct about those being signs. The main challenge was how my suspected autism got in the way of me recognizing it.

Despite definitely being autistic, the doctors that could’ve diagnosed me as kid, didn’t. My personal theory is that it’s related to the underdiagnosing of cis girls with autism. Although it’s often attributed to girls being socialized differently, I have met a number of transfems who, like cis women, weren’t diagnosed with autism until later in life. It’s like the doctors expect a male gendered type of autism in AMABs, so they underdiagnose us too -_- (again, just a pet hypothesis that I’ll never get to test)

Anyhow, I was always very unhappy about my social existence, feeling out of place as I tried to hang out with boys. Kinda like the stereotype of boys finding girls mysterious, I did not understand dudes at all. However, I also failed to realize the gender differences because I felt pressured to only hang out with boys. I was a goodie-two-shoes who always tried to do what was expected of me without being asked. I needed to play as a boy character because I was a boy, end of conversation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When it comes to signs, I still discover new ones whenever I think about my past. I always did suck at finding the answer when I had no idea what it should look like 😭

I really didn’t have obvious signs, as most of my symptoms were attributed to autism. I didn’t like going shirtless, although I wasn’t sure why. I hated going into men’s locker rooms and didn’t fit in well with most boys, except the boy with long hair. I was jealous of him and always wanted to grow mine out, but my mom would constantly tell me that I wouldn’t like longer hair because it gets heavy and hot.

However, I never once felt like I was a girl or felt like I wanted to be a girl. I was fine with feminine things, but many of them are too much trouble to get too invested in outside of special occasions. I want to know how to walk in heels, but I rarely want to wear them (not to mention I’m already conscious about my height 😖)

I hope you can surround yourself with more accepting people soon 😢

Oh my, I don’t know if you can close this box. I doubt the genie will fit back in. It might be more trouble trying to find your way back than to move forward.

I recently realized that the transition itself wasn’t the hardest part for me. I wasn’t brave for transitioning, as I only went through with it when there was nothing left to lose. The part that really took courage was accepting myself. That was more scary than any of the struggles I’ve had trying to transition. Having the courage to love me was harder than fighting for treatment, dealing with political anxieties, and learning how to be fem. I want to fight for myself now, but working up the courage to do that was the toughest battle.

Don’t worry! I’ll never “reassure” you that you’re cis. You’re not out of line. You’re not stealing any valor. You’re just you, and that’s ok 💖

Come here! 🤗

Teehee (≧ω≦)

I fully believed I was a cishet boy for my entire childhood. I never once considered that I could be, or even wanted to be a girl. I legit didn’t know; the reveal was a total surprise 😰

Ah yes, imposter syndrome over not only being a girl, but over being trans. I’d champion trans rights till the day I died, but I clearly didn’t deserve to be more than an ally 🙄

“Obviously I’m not trans! Those other girls are lucky enough to be born trans, but not me. I’m unlucky to have been born cis” 😔

Why do i relate to this? I wasn’t considered gifted or even smart till high school 🤔

I just appreciate the attention

🥺

Richard Dawkins when gender affirming care is one of the most successful mental health treatments to date, trans people display behavioral traits consistent with evolutionary theory, and people get fed up with his rigid thinking:

It’s only used tissues under there, I swear! 😫

And a skeleton under the desk, and a skull on the shelf in the 3rd. SYE includes this stuff in most of her drawings

It wasn’t working in the title