Damn inflation is everywhere now, even the transcendentals :'(

Two I can think of, luckily neither was that bad.

Firstly I got impatient and bought a new DSLR camera kit off eBay, thinking I would save money and get a good deal. It came with two decent lenses, supposedly, and a bunch of other accessories. Very highly rated seller.

After I made the purchase, I get a message to expect a phone call from such-and-such number. Strange, I thought. They call and immediately I can tell it’s a bait-and-switch. They tell me what they’re going to send, but it’s not what was in the listing. Only one lens, instead of two, and some other shenanigans like substituting inferior brands and cheap shit. I called them out and said either you deliver what was promised in the listing, or I’m opening a dispute, and it won’t be a good look that you tried to change the deal over the phone.

Anyway I got what was listed, but overall it was a disappointment. Grey market items from overseas, not official US licensed gear, so I had no warranty. But I ended up paying as much or more than if I had walked into a local shop. It wasn’t counterfeit, but just left a bad taste in my mouth. The seller disappeared from eBay not long after that…

Second time: I received one of those emails with a password in the subject. It looked familiar, and was in fact an (old) password I had used. Someone took a hacked DB and just fired off countless emails with the passwords to the matching email addresses. But the tone of the email was what spooked me. It said, I have had full access to all your emails, I have figured out how to reset accounts and hacked into your webcam and have some very interesting photos. Either you pay this amount to this bitcoin address or I send the photos to all your contacts and your life will be ruined.

In the moment, I panicked like oh shit this is legit. Even though I couldn’t imagine what photos they referred to, it was still scary being blackmailed. I thought about it, discussed with some people, and they helped calm me down. After a few days, I realized it must be a scam. It was so generic. Surely if it was real, they would mentioned specifics… my name, or what I looked like, or some other unmistakable details.

Over the years, I received a number of other variations with the same jist, and different passwords (my email address was in several major leaks in mid-2000s). I’m glad I didn’t fall for that shit, regardless of how serious it seemed in the moment.

Why stop there? Shut it all down. Pull the plug.

It really sucks. We have a great dynamic and she has helped me so much over the last year, words can’t express.

Lack reading comprehension?

I think it’s great. My block-list is filling out nicely. Hope the trolls keep exposing themselves in such brazen careless fashion :)

And will they be Russian, or more human trafficking victims?

Also remember the nearest comparison to building a website, was a book, magazine, or newspaper. So just plop those text and images down as if it was a book, only ever intended to be viewed at one fixed resolution (say, 800x600). No smartphones yet. No apps to inspire us. No web 2.0. No emphasis on minimalism or dynamic content.

Unexpected and unpleasant things should happen with different browsers, window sizes, etc.

That site would have been considered remarkably beautiful and aesthetically pleasing. As such it’s not quite realistic.

Much too legible. I recommend less contrast for the text.

I don’t see you playing with alignment? I would like more centered text personally. And long lines of text without breaks.

Why not throw in some “lorem ipsum” placeholders.

Are you using a WYSIWYG editor?

Where are your dancing hampsters?

Also is this before or after it became trendy to copy/paste all sorts of scripts into the html? Remember scrolling text on the status bar, how about those ascii things that follow your mouse around?

I’d keep an eye on your page’s size, remember we would be loading this on 56k dialup modems… if we were lucky!

What’s the point?

I make more than most of my acquaintances in the city (my friends are poor), yet it’s not enough to rent a house much less buy one. It’s not enough to save for retirement. It’s not even enough to move to a better apartment. The only reason I can think of owning a house is my inheritance - period.

My company touts their generous benefits which start on day one. But I’m about to lose access to my therapist because they want to push virtual and self-help resources instead. They publish pamphlets that exaggerate medical benefits, when you go to use them the insurance company says “Nah lol.”

We have no union and in fact the state disincentivized formation of unions with “right to work” laws.

Work leaves me feeling exhausted and hopeless. My paycheck covers the bills, buys food, and keeps a derelict roof over my head. Apparently that makes me “lucky” and I should be grateful for it.

Oh, one more thing. Since you are undecided, I would have sex before deciding if you want to keep it or not. Also don’t rush into that. But basically during sex, subconscious thoughts emerge and that may give you a different perspective, more clarity on what you truly want. It’s too easy to “imagine” how we’ll feel in a situation, especially one we’ve been programmed to think about, but quite different to experience it in reality.

I would just go for an orchie. Then you don’t have to worry about suppressing testosterone ever again. That is a guaranteed easy fix for one problem, and if you think about it, it’s also the common aspect of any further surgery you’d want.

In fact that is exactly what I’m doing in a few months.

Who knows, maybe in the future you will be able to afford the surgery you desire. And you’ll have time to think about it. This is definitely NOT something to rush into with doubts.

Question, does your state require you to have sex reassignment before a name/gender marker change? If not, you are facing a self-imposed limitation, so it’s your choice.

Mine does require it, unfortunately and that makes it a torturous decision for me. I’m hoping that an orchie will be enough. If not, one of the hardest decisions of my life is looming.

I’m taking note of all the prominent individuals and organizations which chose to remain on the fascist platform and thus implicitly support it.

Hey I’ve been there. Not so long ago, I would be on reddit asking variations of “am I really trans?”

And everyone would be like “LOLyes”, and I would be like “hmmmok if you say sooo”

I would never, ever, ever go back to testosterone. Estrogen is making my body complete. Even if the rest of my life is a dumpster fire sometimes, I can still love my body <3

My bigger fish to fry? Loneliness and social anxiety. I got the sex and gender bit outta the way. Onto the next challenge.

I feel ya.

I’m lying here alone right now, in my noisy hovel of an apartment, scared shitless, trying to block out the sound and light, to sleep as wave after wave of sorrow washes over me. The pills really aren’t working so well lately. Hooray for “the weekend.”

For the first time in my life I’m considering substance abuse. The world mostly just disgusts me right now.

Saaaame, happy for you <3

It’s a scary world right now but we got this.

Oh that hits me right in the feels. I lost my mother last year, before I had the chance to come out to her. So I’ll never get to experience that mother-daughter relationship.

But that means I am super happy for you, and my other siblings with supportive parents. That’s really beautiful <3 I have tears in my eyes for you too.

Medical gatekeeping sucks. I’m sorry you feel like you can’t be honest about yourself. Consider this, you said if you tell your therapist the wrong thing, it could jeopardize access to HRT… that is your main concern. I feel like that alone is a major indicator of your identity. You seem to know your hormones are wrong.

AGP (autogynophilia) is a debunked pseudo-scientific theory. I see that it still exists in your doubts. The notion that trans women exist because we are sexually attracted to women is just wrong lol. That doesn’t happen. Unfortunately there are still therapists out there who follow their “feelings” and outdated approaches that are not recommended by WPATH SoC. If you have such a therapist, find another.

People are only telling you that sexual orientation and gender identity are different things, which is the modern scientific understanding. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be a woman who also finds women and feminine people attractive. You definitely can! Your sexual/romantic attraction implies nothing about your gender.

It’s OK to be uncertain about your sexuality. You’re only 18! At 18, I was super homophobic and repressed any possibly non-hetero attractions. Now at 40, I know that I am pansexual, with a strong preference for feminine people (but not exclusively). Also I’m demisexual and most likely poly. But it took decades to figure this out.

It’s OK to be uncertain about your gender. Have you tried possible affirmations, like a preferred name, pronouns, clothes? How did you feel?

The whole tone of your post reads like a trans woman who is scared to do something or learn something that invalidates her. But we are all different. Even if 100 trans people agree on one thing, that doesn’t make it universal.

You are valid.

Just a heads up that certain trans people, and not a small number, will never trust or like you for admitting this.

I, however, am not one of those people. I would much rather someone be honest and talk about how they’ve changed, than to hide it all or even worse, being a secret LGBTQ nazi.

I know first-hand how they go after disaffected youth. The loners, the outcasts, the frustrated and angry.

Everyone talks about “groomers” these days. What could be worse than convincing kids and young adults to hate others simply for being different: minorities, inmigrants, Jews. That’s like the epitome of evil. That is true grooming, and the far-right are experts at using a variety of tactics. In-person grooming, using peer pressure, gangs, to online via social media, cartoons, memes, jokes.

They deflect responsibility for your own life, it’s all somebody else’s fault, who if eliminated will make everything better and set it back to rights. They take your interests (art, music, books, whatever) and turn it into propaganda, telling you what to think and how to think it.

Anyway thanks for your story, and I’m glad you were able to break free and find your true self :)

I was once tumbling down that same rabbithole, thankfully escaped before I hurt anyone. Now I have a score to settle with those bastards.

Hey just wanted to drop a couple of FACTS:

1. You’re a woman.
2. Sounds like you were AMAB, so this makes you trans.
3. You are valid!

Now that’s out of the way, have you ever thought about names? How about using pronouns, maybe have your wife try feminine nicknames, pronouns etc with you and see how it feels.

For me, it still feels magical to hear my correct pronouns and names being used <3 Or when my partner calls me a woman, girl, etc. Like is this real, can this be happening?!

Having a supportive partner is one of THE most important things, I mean someone you spend so much time with, who knows you so well, to offer that kind of unconditional acceptance, that’s a rare and beautiful thing.

That being said… this is probably a big adjustment for her too. She might need time to fully process things. Don’t be surprised if some of the dynamics of the relationship change.

And well, my partner is also super supportive, but like, I think I do annoy them with my obsessive moods lol. Yes, sometimes I’m gonna take 100 selfies because I still can’t believe this. Or being mesmerized by how I look with eyeliner for the first time. Or shopping for clothes. Or taking three hours to get ready to go out.

There is so much to do, and I try to make up for all the lost years, but we have to be careful not to overwhelm those around us. Good communication from both sides will do wonders. Remember you both have needs.

Being trans is a lot. It’s amazing, it’s horrible, exciting, boring, frightening, frustrating, too slow, too fast, the highest highs and the lowest lows. You have some great times ahead, and maybe a few not-so-great, but keep your head up. You got this, girl!