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Cake day: October 3rd, 2023

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  • My grandpa passed a year ago now, COPD. Likely honestly a heart attack after all the steroid meds for his lungs created heart problems including a heart aneurysm. When he was diagnosed way back in 2006 they told us he had 5 years if he was lucky, I didn’t think he’d see me graduate HS. Well he had a lot more than 5 years in him but after about 2014 it was all shit. He started telling my grandma that he was ready to die, wanted to die, in 2018, he begged for it on hard nights. He tried to kill himself in 2021 and 2022. Both attempts left him strapped to a hospital bed “for his safety” as he struggled to breathe, he hadn’t been able to reliably breathe laying on his back for several years by then but they didn’t care as long as he lived.

    I never felt anything but sympathy for him after those attempts. As someone with chronic lifelong asthma, I know how my end will go. I know what it’s like to suffocate and struggle to breathe and in case anyone wonders, it fucking sucks. It’s terrifying, it’s slow, and you know it’s coming. Panic is inevitable. He felt like that for nearly 10 fucking years. He told me once after it had gotten bad that he’d always felt so bad for me as a kid to have asthma but now he finally understood, he said I was so brave to have dealt with it for so long but in that moment I didn’t feel brave I felt lucky. When I use my inhaler I can breathe again, for him it just made him struggle less. For a long time I wished he would die, my absolute favorite person on the planet, and I wanted them dead. It destroyed me mentally for years. When he finally did die it was horribly sad and also such a massive relief for everyone to know that at least he wasn’t suffering anymore.

    I say all this, partially to get it off my chest but mostly to say, if we are going to prolong life we need to also give people the option to check out. Life isn’t life without quality of health, it’s just suffering. Prolonging suffering makes use torturers, it’s not a saving grace. If we have the capacity to do this for our pets then people deserve the same mercy.


  • As someone that grew up in the 90s watching NASCAR Dale was also hella legit. He hated the Confederate flag and was quoted as saying, “racism is a moral commitment to ignorance.” I miss when rednecks understood the fight and also hated cops. Now they suck and give the rest of us a bad name.




  • Fuck the CDC and late stage capitalism. One of my best friends is in a wheelchair for the rest of her life because of Long COVID, she can’t walk a few feet without being so out of breath she passes out. My mom got Long COVID the first and now the second time she’s been infected. She still coughs every time she walked around or does any activities. She has to carry an inhaler now but she doesn’t have asthma, just Long COVID. She got COVID only a few weeks ago and it’s was most definitely NOT like the flu for her or anyone I’ve known that’s gotten it.


  • Dang. NASCAR got pretty big in the late 90’s early 00’s. My dad watched all the time and he controlled the living room so we were all watching races. I was 8 when I watched his crash. I remember thinking that it didn’t look that bad, I had seen cars flip and roll like crazy and drivers would just walk out. Really sad stuff, iirc the device he invented to save drivers in those types of impacts would have saved his life but he didn’t like wearing it because if limited his head movements so he couldn’t see as well. RIP Dale I still have your little model car, you were my favorite. #3 MVP




  • So so incredibly true. I provide Admin support for folks that want to publish apps with Apple and let me tell you, it’s the wild fuckin west out there and I’m not even talking about the coding part which I’m sure is a hellscape if my side of things is anything to go by.

    Mom and pop got an app idea for passive income so they just hire a company to publish it for then, usually from India, with devs who can’t put two and two together because they work for assholes that want apps pumped out asap. They don’t want critical thinkers, they don’t want knowledgeable employees, what they want are tons of employees they can take advantage of as cheaply as possible that can do a good enough job to stay afloat and make them money. These guys know basic code and nothing else nor do they seem to want to know how to actually manage a development team, they seem like they are under a lot of pressure. I personally don’t actually code or know how to code outside of basic HTML Myspace bullshit but I do know how to get shit published and I know how to get the apps ready for publishing. I know these things because our guides are massive and massively detailed with screenshots to help you out and yet I’m busier than ever. 90% of my job outside of the admin and fraud prevention work I have to do is sitting on the phone reading instructions word for word or copying and pasting it from the guides for people who should be able to understand the content, but they don’t.

    Imo as someone that’s been doing this for 5 years now, it’s a bubble and she’s ready to burst. It’ll be another .com crash that we’ll all pretend we didn’t see coming.



  • City, town, country, doesn’t matter because I can’t afford it!

    On the real real, I work full time and make more than I ever have in my life. The apartments I live in are falling apart and the owners don’t care anymore, it used to be a nice place. My mom’s helping me look at new places because she wants me out as much as I do. There isn’t anything I can afford. My parents are going to have to help me with rent if I want to get into anything that isn’t another shithole. I’m 33, college educated, live in one of the cheapest states in the cheapest city, I work from home, I work for fuckin Apple for christ sake, I’ve done everything right and yet I still can’t afford to live.


  • Imo blurring genderlines and rendering them useless as a meaningful measure of power is precisely why so many in power now don’t want the gender/trans movement to gain any traction. If people were to realize that gender truly was nothing more than your outward appearance and did not in any way impact someone’s ability to gain power, knowledge, or success then we could end up with a WOMAN in powerful positions or even worse the women could actually start to gain allies with the power to change things when former white cishet male presenting people who still speak with their white cishet friends about all the I justices women face start to get outraged on their friends behalf.


  • FraidyBear@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlJust fuck me up fam
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    11 months ago

    Fuckin preach. I’m 33 and have spent the last 8 years in near total isolation because I simply do not have time for anything other than work, chores, feed and bathe myself (if I have time), sleep. That’s it. It’s deepening my depression and sense of total desperation in ways that I’d never imagined. But hey, at least my company is making billions because that’s the truly important part. I’m ready to just say fuck it and go the way of Gen Z. I’ve saved and saved and worked my ass off, played by the rules, got my degree and it’s all been for nothing. I still have nothing. In fact I literally have less than when I was in my 20s. There’s nothing I can do to stop another economic crisis and I’m no where near having enough to survive one so fuck it. I’m ready to just do what I want and if that gets me fired or Im in debt because I finally decided to just take the hit and travel wherever I want then so be it. There’s nothing we can do, we’re on the ride, the clicking of the chains has already started and we are buckled in. Time to just enjoy what we can I guess, even if it sucks the entire time.



  • There’s not a clear and conscience alternative to “American.” If you’re trying to differentiate us from other people from the Americas you’d just say US Citizen. And while yes the entirety of this hemisphere is some variation of America be it North, Central, or South the other countries here have distinct names and we really don’t.

    At the risk of sounding like a typical US asshole, here goes nothing. This is how I’ve explained it to friends from Europe and it seemed to help.

    If Brazil had decided to go by the name “United States of Brazil” we would still call them Brazilians because there is another country with the title “United States” that also exists. Similar to how we call people from the Peoples Republic of China, Chinese. We don’t call them “People’s Republicans” because that’s a title not a unique identifier or name. What if that same country decided to go by the name the Peoples Republic of Asia instead, would we call them Peoples Republicans or would we call them Asians?

    The title “United States” is telling you that this area is united together and the borders represent states, not country’s. “America” tells you where those united states are, the continent of America. The term “American” is generalized and honestly doesn’t accurately represent the vast cultural differences within the United States. The states often have their own rights and laws separate from the US government and also unique cultures. Ideally we would be called by our states name for its citizens like Californian or New Yorker, for example. Similar to how you would refer to people from Europe as European unless you wanted to be specific to Italy, then you’d say Italian. But sometimes you need a general term, hence “American.”

    All that being said, it is problematic and a massive reminder of this country’s bloodthirsty and genocidal colonization of a large part of North America. Looking at the country’s past shows that they were very much trying to also get central and south America as part of the United States. What better way to propagandize and make it look like they had every right to the rest of the Americas than to make it appear as though this country or that country already was America and therefore should be part of these United States? But however problematic it is this is the name we have now, for better or worse.

    As an addendum of sorts. We Indigenous Americans would often much rather be called by the names of our sovereign Nations yet everyone calls us Native American. Why is that? Food for thought that might help with understanding the problematic struggle we have here. It’s not simply us as citizens that perpetuate the issue, it’s a global colonization effort whether the others realize they are participating or not. (Spoiler: they realize)

    tldr: because colonization + United States is a title not a name