Well, it finally happened to me. Somehow I now feel like crap for having a dick. I knew that at some point I wanted to get bottom surgery, but it hasn’t been because I desperately wanted to cut of my dick and felt shit because I still have one, but because I knew I wanted a vagina. Yesterday evening it turned around and now I feel absolutely miserable for still having one. Why does my brain has to make my life even harder than it already is? This type of Dysphoria is kind of a next level. It (at least currently) doesn’t really go away and noticing The source of my Dysphoria every time I move is next level crap.
Bonus point for my brain deciding on making me feel like crap right in the time before my exams, to add a little bit of an extra challenge to learning…
I’m so sorry 🫂
Luckily I only have 2 exams in this exam phase, both of which are somewhat easy. Main problem is, that I gonna have to learn a shit ton for the other two (who are in October) while I’m at my parents house, where its much harder to learn due to a lot of other responsibilities. So my other responsibilities + the extra dysphoria from not being able to wear skirts and getting misgendered/dead named (my parents dont know my new name yet and they should not start using it even if they knew because I’m not out in my hometown and I dont want them to accidentally my new name) will make learning for the other two exams kinda spicy.