The researchers propose to measure affect in terms of how easily you get aroused when faced with a sexual stimulus or situation. Likewise, behavior involves the frequency of sexual acts. And finally, cognition has to do with how often you think about sex.
that’s actually really interesting that there’s different categories of sex drives
i actually wasn’t talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day… but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don’t know; maybe it’s anecdotally true even.
other than that I’ve always believed it’s (at least mostly) social conditioning though.
There are a few clarifications I would like to make:
Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.
Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that’s not relevant.
Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you’ve pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a “penis” - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).
so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.
The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it’s not as large or total as people commonly believe.
And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It’s possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.
It’s very much like height, where it’s correlated, but not restricted to people with lots of testosterone (more relevant than having a dick). And it really sucks being Trijntje Keever.
Dicks are normally more visible when aroused, but vaginas sometimes make it look like you’ve pissed yourself. Appearance aside, wet underwear is pretty uncomfortable and can lead to skin irritations. As to why the place that gets wet is the same place that grows coarse hair and slightly moves whenever you walk? Curse of Eve, I guess.
It might just be that the grass is greener, but I’d prefer to tuck an erection into my waistband than deal with soaked underwear. Absolutely no envy about balls though, they seem very uncomfortable all around.
i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day…
Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I’m too embarrassed to share irl!!
I’m trans (MTF) and it doesn’t really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it’s difficult 🥲.
You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, ‘morning wood’ is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn’t happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn’t been an issue for me.
Also with decreased labido it’s really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I’m kinda scared of tbh.
*‘required’ is subjective, but it’s not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery …also sex too lol
it’s not exactly the same as a full understanding but my transmasc friends labido in the first year of T was much worse than my first year of E (so far atleast).
The labido of a teenage boy is fucking INTENSE, all they do is think with their dick (well not in my friends case lol). However my emotion regulation is WAYYYY worse than his was, I am a blob of emotionally distraught tears.
neither of us would get off HRT for the world though.
I did that on purpose
(as an example of emotion regulation I wrote out a passive aggressive paragraph of why language changes over time and it’s not a crime to shorten 2 words, before realizing you were probably not being rude with it 😓🥲)
yeah but now i have two people with reference points to both feminine and masculine hormonal makeup that agree with my assumption so I’m gonna believe them more…
… not because they have unique perspectives but because they reaffirm my previously held beliefs
I have a sample size of one trans friend who started taking male hormones and felt it completely overwhelming. He was absolutely astounded by how intense it was for months on end until he felt he built up some mental fortitude.
Clearly, it’s not an ideal comparison, and personal experiences are highly individual but I found their experience interesting.
as another trans guy i can confirm, T took my libido from “mid, horny sometimes” to “I GET HORNY EVERY DAY AND IF I DON’T FIX IT I LITERALLY CANNOT FOCUS”, in the span of like, no time, literally started with the first or injection
That’s one of the reasons I’m worried about transitioning. I’m already horny more frequently and intensely than any dude I’ve ever dated. Adding more testosterone to the mix sounds like a bad idea
perhaps you’re just manifesting the T horny already :D
but for real, if you’re sure of being trans and want most of the effects T brings - i’d say do it. i’m not thrilled about my thinning hair, receding hairline, or the acne v2 (this time harder to get rid of), but the bursts of self-hate cause by dysphoria are completely gone, and that makes being so much easier
welcome to the club my man. don’t get me wrong it can be annoying but I’d rather have a never ending boner for the rest of days than have one period. I’m cis so I’ve never experienced it myself but i have enough women friends (and a wife) to know i wouldn’t want it for a day.
oh ya dw, i’ve been on T for 7 years now, i have it mostly under control. apart from the times when it just doesn’t seem to be going away, body parts already sore, brain still says horny, those days are– something
Though ime there is no “control,” just “I will face my horny, I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see it’s path, where the horny has gone there will be nothing, only I will remain.” So lucky you lmao!
I would be fascinated to talk to this person. As a straight cis male dude guy, this is just all day, every day. I’d be like hearing someone describe the sun who’s never been outside before in the whole life.
i feel this is usually a bigger problem when you have a dick.
Why? Gets physically in the way? Can’t, like… Do pus–ups?
having to deal with a boner when you don’t want it is an annoyance.
that’s a common belief, but it varies a lot by individual, with many women having higher sex drives than men
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202212/do-men-really-have-stronger-sex-drives-than-women
that’s actually really interesting that there’s different categories of sex drives
i actually wasn’t talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day… but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don’t know; maybe it’s anecdotally true even.
other than that I’ve always believed it’s (at least mostly) social conditioning though.
There are a few clarifications I would like to make:
Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.
Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that’s not relevant.
Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you’ve pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a “penis” - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).
The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it’s not as large or total as people commonly believe.
And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It’s possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.
It’s very much like height, where it’s correlated, but not restricted to people with lots of testosterone (more relevant than having a dick). And it really sucks being Trijntje Keever.
having a dick was more relevant to my point which was about erections
Dicks are normally more visible when aroused, but vaginas sometimes make it look like you’ve pissed yourself. Appearance aside, wet underwear is pretty uncomfortable and can lead to skin irritations. As to why the place that gets wet is the same place that grows coarse hair and slightly moves whenever you walk? Curse of Eve, I guess.
It might just be that the grass is greener, but I’d prefer to tuck an erection into my waistband than deal with soaked underwear. Absolutely no envy about balls though, they seem very uncomfortable all around.
Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I’m too embarrassed to share irl!!
I’m trans (MTF) and it doesn’t really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it’s difficult 🥲.
You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, ‘morning wood’ is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn’t happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn’t been an issue for me.
Also with decreased labido it’s really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I’m kinda scared of tbh.
*‘required’ is subjective, but it’s not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery …also sex too lol
for man its easier and faster to release that horny statement
yeah but it’s kinda frowned upon by the people around
I’m a woman and I disagree
No, pyre is correct.
it’s not exactly the same as a full understanding but my transmasc friends labido in the first year of T was much worse than my first year of E (so far atleast).
The labido of a teenage boy is fucking INTENSE, all they do is think with their dick (well not in my friends case lol). However my emotion regulation is WAYYYY worse than his was, I am a blob of emotionally distraught tears.
neither of us would get off HRT for the world though.
*at least.
I did that on purpose
(as an example of emotion regulation I wrote out a passive aggressive paragraph of why language changes over time and it’s not a crime to shorten 2 words, before realizing you were probably not being rude with it 😓🥲)
yeah but now i have two people with reference points to both feminine and masculine hormonal makeup that agree with my assumption so I’m gonna believe them more…
… not because they have unique perspectives but because they reaffirm my previously held beliefs
…damn that’s a pretty good reason.
I have a sample size of one trans friend who started taking male hormones and felt it completely overwhelming. He was absolutely astounded by how intense it was for months on end until he felt he built up some mental fortitude.
Clearly, it’s not an ideal comparison, and personal experiences are highly individual but I found their experience interesting.
as another trans guy i can confirm, T took my libido from “mid, horny sometimes” to “I GET HORNY EVERY DAY AND IF I DON’T FIX IT I LITERALLY CANNOT FOCUS”, in the span of like, no time, literally started with the first or injection
That’s one of the reasons I’m worried about transitioning. I’m already horny more frequently and intensely than any dude I’ve ever dated. Adding more testosterone to the mix sounds like a bad idea
perhaps you’re just manifesting the T horny already :D
but for real, if you’re sure of being trans and want most of the effects T brings - i’d say do it. i’m not thrilled about my thinning hair, receding hairline, or the acne v2 (this time harder to get rid of), but the bursts of self-hate cause by dysphoria are completely gone, and that makes being so much easier
Coukd that just be, like, feeling comfier with your body and general brain soup?
feeling comfier is certainly making it easier to be horny, but hormones do 90% of the legwork here
welcome to the club my man. don’t get me wrong it can be annoying but I’d rather have a never ending boner for the rest of days than have one period. I’m cis so I’ve never experienced it myself but i have enough women friends (and a wife) to know i wouldn’t want it for a day.
lmao same, dysphoria was the strongest during periods i hated them with a burning passion. T just made them stop, which is amazing.
Welcome to the party dude, this starts at age 12ish and (so far) never ends.
oh ya dw, i’ve been on T for 7 years now, i have it mostly under control. apart from the times when it just doesn’t seem to be going away, body parts already sore, brain still says horny, those days are– something
Oh I know those days all too well lol!
Though ime there is no “control,” just “I will face my horny, I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see it’s path, where the horny has gone there will be nothing, only I will remain.” So lucky you lmao!
I would be fascinated to talk to this person. As a straight cis male dude guy, this is just all day, every day. I’d be like hearing someone describe the sun who’s never been outside before in the whole life.
thanks for sharing; it’s wildly interesting! he’s one of a small number of people who can speak for two different modes of physical/hormonal makeup.