“Two in the thoughts and one in the prayers”. I save it for those that offer only thoughts & prayers in times of need and assistance.
As call and response in the office whenever two “absolute top priority, over all else” tasks arrive in quick succession;
If everything is urgent?
Nothing is urgent!
When someone who is really exasperated exclaims “Jesus Christ!” I respond with, “yes my child?”
When someone says “this is really X” “You know what else is X? something about you, your mother, etc.
You know what else is X? MY MOM WOOOYEAAAA
Holy shit I didn’t know othe people do the first one as well lmao
I respond to “my god”, usually
“Brilliant”. In the most sarcastic way possible whenever something goes wrong.
“Wicked” over here.
Oh my god I picked up “GG” at some point (I don’t even play MMOs) and I literally say it all the time now. I’ve had to explain it to multiple people too because it’s not like a very normal people term.
Another one is during the Sweet Brown era I was going on a college trip and I used to say “ain’t nobody got time for that” so often that I got my English professor saying it and she was pissed. LOL. Now, due to fiscal constraints, I only say “ain’t nobody got dime for that” :(
When a coworker announces that he goes on vacation now (from this to that date, just so everybody knows), I ask:
“Who has approved that?”
in a grave serious tone.
Even if it is some kind of boss of any level.
Works best in large meetings :)
“I’m super not worried about it”
Everything is temporary
“are we serious” whenever something negative happens
“Es war mir ein inneres Blumenpflücken”
after having a nice time with someone. it translates to
“It was an internal flower picking for me”
meaning this was like picking flowers with you for my mental state
If it’s not broken, keep fixing it 'til it is.
pig fucker. straight from south park. they’ve corrupted my fucking innocent, pure mind
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03’ tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they’re large enough to be able to handle human d–ks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white.
My friend says if I was an Animal Crossing villager, I would end my sentences with “for real”.
Asks me a question
“Woah, for real?”Talking about the weather
“I saw clouds building on the horizon. For real!”We’re both lamenting
“For real, man…”Not mine, but I knew a guy in high school who did this and I think it’s ripe for someone to steal. He would frequently add “like the dickens!” to things, the less appropriate, the better. .
