I’ll go firstt:
1: Regularly thinking that girls got all the cute clothes
2: Buying female clothes (skirt and some underwear) for “cross dressing”
3: Feeling physical pain when having to put off bought female clothes to go outside
4: Imagining yourself as the women in porn (that’s why I at first though I was “just gay”)
5: Being sad when thinking about trans people and realising I couldn’t transition because I’m not trans
6: Absolutely suppressing every form of thought when thinking about “the trans topic” (in a way that sometimes I reflected myself and thought that I may be trans, but I 100% suppressed those thoughts knowing damn well, that this wasn’t that much of a good strategy. This also included the thought “acts trans, looks trans, probably is trans”, that crossed my mind after taking LSD for the first time)
7: Dissociating kinda regularly. Happened usually when reading fantasy books. Didnt realise it was dissociation until like 3 weeks ago
Probably missed some stuff but those are the most significant ones. Quite a lot of stuff are signs that appears around the last year or so.
tbf, most of my stuff also felt like not a huge deal at the time, I just had no point of reference to see how bad it really was. Now that I have a reference, I see that the gap between being fine and being very not fine is much smaller than I’d thought for most of my life, it’s not like it’s gatekept behind suffering Enough™. I guess the same sentiment goes for gender, autism, and a bunch of other things.