Much of the North and Wales are still not very diverse Part of what you were experiencing is the fact that you really do stand out.

Bristol is not so very far away from you, and it’s a very cosmopolitan city… No one there will give a fuck I do assure you.

Not in the UK alongside British people for sure.

I’m in the same boat but not from Poland and I came over a tad later (12) but I’m also 5 years older.

I don’t actually have an accent inherently but I always use an American one to obscure my country of origin.

It’s really quite a backwards little country and they have an insular culture and hot opinions on ‘de immigants’ amongst other things, they’re just polite enough to keep it to the voting booth most of the time until the the child alcoholism and the FAS kicks in.

They will always see you as defined by your nationality first because to them, it makes you fundamentally different as a person because they themselves are fundamentally defined by their nationality - (you can often tell by how much they rely on this as material for ‘banter’) - rather than how many other people see it - as a random side note of historical background of yet another human on this planet - a citizen of the world if you will.

I recall meeting a friend group of my S.O. who’s been here all her life and went to school with those people and still the occasional joke about her country of origin gets a big laugh, not to mention the only brown person at the table only ever joked and got joked to about being Muslim, it wasn’t offensive or anything, but you’d think the guy was a hardcore religious leader by how much it came up when he seemed like just some guy to me.

They might keep you around to pitch in with a fun fact about Poland (even if you don’t really know any) or say something funny (to them) in your accent/language, but you’ll never be actually British and treated as just another one of the peeps about the place.

Try to surround yourself with other people from diverse backgrounds if you can, which won’t be possible in the norf (idk about Wales, never been) but you can definitely do this in London as British people are far and few between and so long as you steer clear of other majorly represented insular ethnic groups you can maybe find a multinational clique or what I had more luck with - an eastern european one with similar levels of integration and shared interests etc., and maybe consider living or visiting elsewhere, like the US which is far more diverse and your background matters far less.

Hope this helps.

You’ll never be anything less than what you are, but that’s a strength. Just speaking two languages well already puts you at an advantage. The experiences you have of seeing the cultures in relation to each other also gives you an edge.

Sometimes it’s nice to be able to just blend in, but life is all about learning and gathering experiences and impressions, and you have a head start. It might not always be easy, but you’ll learn to appreciate it.

And as long as Poland is in the EU I’d much rather have a Polish passport than an English one.

For what it’s worth, if you’ve lived here since you were six, I’d absolutely consider you British.

British with Polish roots maybe, and perhaps officially Polish in legal terms (re your passport), but this is your home, so perception-wise I’d definitely call you British.

Re working and voting, that’s where it gets more complicated and I don’t know what the rules say, although it would seem hugely unfair for you not to have those rights having lived here for such a large proportion of your life. You could maybe try your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau for more informed advice on those points.

Sorry you experienced the kind of abuse/patronising attitudes as you describe - some people are just arseholes unfortunately. Doesn’t make them right though.

I hope that things get easier for you, and that as time passes you feel more accepted by those around you and are able to take part in regular life as much as possible.

You might be able to find people who accept you, even if the average Brit doesn’t. People have strange ideas about whom to hate and why.

It’s complicated and I can’t pretend to really understand your situation, but I trust that feeling pity for them works better for your mental health than any other reaction, including trying to ignore them. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself believe them.

Peace.

You will be truly British once you register on feddit.uk

In seriousness, I like to think it’s a state of mind. If you find yourself generally aligning most with the more positive British attitudes, you’re British. Though living in Wales, you may end up feeling more Welsh eventually!

If you want to feel more connected, try getting involved with local festivities and traditions.
Explore the countryside with the Ramblers. Do some pub quizzes. Go to a folk festival.
The sorts of things that involve you with pleasant people.

I was born in the UK but with a West Indian and an actual Indian grandparent on one side. Lived there my entire life up until relatively recently. There were still people who would consider me not British. When people either in the UK or where I live now ask where I’m from and I tell them I’m British, there are many people who say “but where are you really from?”

But it doesn’t mean anything if I say I’m Jamaican, or Indian, because one I’ve been to for some odd trips as a kid and the other I only transferred through an airport. Yeah my DNA shows that, but my entire life has basically minimal connection to either of those places and a continuous connection to Britain.

I got the accent and the passport, but I didn’t get the skin colour. So these people will always exist who want to make it seem like I’m not “really” British. But that is on them, not me. I am British, whether they like it or not.

This is really a long winded way of saying: there will always be some people who consider you not truly British. Fuck them. They are idiots that have at best shackled themselves to some outdated view of what it means to be “British” and at worst want to shutter the whole country off to anyone who doesn’t look or speak like them and pull us all back to the stone age.

I think if you speak to people you are close with about this they would consider you British. If you speak with Baz down at the Red Lion he’ll ask you for a pierogi and then fall asleep in his own vomit after a few too many pints of carling. I think Baz is much less important than all of the real people in your life and most of all, the way you view yourself.

I thinknif you’ve lived in Britain that long most people would think of you as British, especially if you have a reasonably British accent. Where I live in Scotland, most people are happy to accept anyone who actually wants to live in Scotland as Scottish!

Hut there’s always going to be racist idiots. I’ve been told I’m “not really British” just because I’m from Scotland (by someone who obviously doesn’t understand the difference between England and Britain. And I’ve seem the whitest, pure Anglo-Saxon English people being called “not really British” because they wanted to stay in the EU. So, try to ignore the idiots!

The racists and xenophobes will never accept you. There’s no fixing some people’s brains. The good thing is, especially as you get older and able to do various kinds of work, you don’t have to associate with those kinds of jerks very often. It’s your community, it’s your country, and they don’t get to be the gatekeepers of who counts as local, no matter how hard they try.

Whenever someone asks where you’re from, just get more specific with where you grew up. Never with where your parents or ancestors are from.

Country. County. Town. District. Block. Nearest intersection or landmark. Which room of the house was yours.

If they don’t get the picture or ask about your background, you could say “I thought you wanted to know about me, not my parents”.

The bloody Red Coats or as we call them in German, “Inselaffen.” Tell them Rule Britannia sank long ago and the Polish 303 Squadron saved their asses during WW II. Keep your EU passport too, it’s an excellent insurance policy in case shit goes wrong.

I’m perhaps a bit biased because for me a country boils down to a government, and I’m from the new world (we tend to see immigrants differently - more like “newcomers” and less like “outsiders”), but I’d consider you British.

That doesn’t say much though. At the end of the day, “you’re British” or “you’re Polish” seem fairly minor to me, compared with “you’re human” and “you’re you”.

It’s curious, I have a similar story but with different countries, and the reactions are VERY different. I was born in Argentina, but my family emigrated to Brazil when I was 13 years old. I speak fluent Portuguese but obviously have an accent that people can’t quite place, but once it’s pointed out they notice it. Yet the vast majority of my interactions about it are something similar to:

• Where are you from?
• I was born in Argentina, but lived in Brazil over 16 years
• Ah, so you’re mostly Brazilian then

And I think that that says a lot about Brazilians and how they’re very welcoming and friendly. Unfortunately the British don’t seem to be the same way, at least from your experience, maybe people in larger cities are more used to immigrants so they would see you as mostly British or something.

As for the voting, for me at least the only way was to become a citizen, most countries allow you to ask for citizenship if you’ve been living legally long enough so you probably qualify. Just bear in mind that some countries ask you to abandon your other citizenships when you do so, so not sure if that’s your case and if it’s worth it just to be able to vote.

Knowing what a conker is makes you super British.

You seem like a decent thoughtful person, and I would rather have you as a fellow Brit than the knobheads that throw conkers at you.

Defining a person by their nationality is pretty stupid when you consider that we are all on the same rock hurtling through the unfathomable depths of space. My grandad always had to know where a person was from in order to put them into a specific box in his mind. I always found it utterly disgusting and just weird. I guess there will always be people like that, but it’s learned behaviour. Kids don’t care where someone is from until they are told it’s important by an idiot adult.

I’m waffling now, but it genuinely doesn’t matter where you are from. One of the few things that makes me proud to be British is the fact that we are a big melting pot of different cultures. We are enhanced by having British people with different heritages. I don’t know if you are planning on applying for British nationality, but I would be delighted if you did. I, and a huge majority of Brits would welcome you with open arms, while the bigots amongst us can fuck off and go and be miserable in their own nasty little corner.