People and their kids like to come over unannounced, and without permission, to look at my ducks like it’s the fuckin zoo or some shit.
Need some humor for this situation to ease my frustration
depending on where you’re from you can hang up a sign saying “trespassing Children will be converted to Islam”
Get some thick over sized glasses that are that transparent brown colour on the rims, grow a thin but dirty moustache, only wear faded pastel tops and short stained shorts that are 1 or 2 sizes to small, ALWAYS show your belly, make sure to be overly friendly but never blink when making eye contact, sooner or later they’ll all leave your house alone.
You could make sure they see you taking a dump on the closet edge of your yard, build a fence like that and I think they’ll get the message
HIMARS
“I’m assisting as part of an experimental penal system. I just want you to be aware that all of these ducks were once human child rapists who were transformed in exchange for lighter sentences.”
I would have to go with landmines. If that isn’t enough of a deterrent, and claymores or even some bouncing betties.
claymores
- Anything labeled “This end toward enemy” is dangerous at both ends.
Put up a sign that says “WARNING: rabid ducks, enter property at own risk”
Alt text.
Free range Raptor zone. Humans beware
Ask them if they want to get battletoads instead
Handwrite the URL of this post and put it through their letterbox
Tell your neighborhood you’re a sex offender?
Nonchalantly execute the ducks in front of the kids. You’ll also be supporting your local youth therapists job security.
This made me snort with laughter, thank you :-)
“Mornin’ kids,” [twist, snap]
You kids stay the DUCK off my lawn!!!
Put up a sign that says, “Pursuant to ordinance 347-1236, a sexual predator resides here”
That makes it sounds like it’s legally mandated for there to be a sexual predator there. When the house gets sold, do the new owners now have to go and molest someone??
And to think usually the buyers are the ones getting fucked.
CAUTION:
BIRD FLU
