• taiyang@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Deeply? No, but you try and be funny or helpful and sometimes it offends someone because they read it a certain way (text can be ambiguous) and that can ruin a day for me. No good reason, mind you, but they can get really mean about it and what, do I apologize or fight? You didn’t exactly want to clarify for a jackass coming after you for no reason.

    I’m also not highly fond of people when they correct you on stuff when it’s not really warranted. Lemmy does that a lot; you can’t always write a 20pg paper about a random comment to address every little facit of what you said, haha.

    • veroxii@aussie.zone
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I just leave those comments and walk away. Explaining or editing a comment no-one is ever going to read is not worth the time. Nothing good can come from it.

      You win some you lose some.

      Comment on something new.

  • tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Not really, my skin is pretty thick. But I made a comment once that fucked someone up real good. I think about it every time I start to go “too far” and I reel it back in, because I never want to be that person again.

      • tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Fine. Try not to judge.

        Someone was having a very bad day and took it out on me with unprovoked anger on Reddit (of course). Their comments were very pointed, unnecessary, and all around inappropriate for the work related sub we were in. I took the bait, and it got a lot worse. Any attempt to reason with them (my first mistake) just made it worse.

        So, I found out who they were and where they worked based on their username. Called the office (with no plan, like what was I going to accomplish? Dumb.) But, I found out he was just fired the prior week. With surprisingly little effort, I was able to squeeze the dirty details out of the receptionist. It was bad—and it was the dirt I needed. I took that information and formed a comment that would shut their shit down for good…

        What ended up happening was they responded negatively—as anyone would. But, there was weakness in it. I won. But I wasn’t satisfied. “They sucker punched me. I am the victim!” I convinced myself.

        So, high on anger and craving the last blow, I dug through their comment history like a rabid animal, but instead of dirt, I found their life story. They were having a lot of mental issues dealing with anger. They were mid-divorce. They were having anxiety about finding employment. They were up to their eyeballs in debt. Etc…

        Fuck, what have I done?!

        Never again.

        • Turun@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, I tried and I failed. I applaud that you can look back at that and change your behavior online, but past you is getting judged hard rn.

          • tsonfeir@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            You tried not to go too far, failed, and continue to go too far—knowing you’re going too far?

            I mean, judge me all you want hypocrite 😉

            • Turun@feddit.de
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              1 year ago

              Your wording makes me believe my comment came across as much more serious as intended.

              Also, assuming you really did take that experience to heart I am not criticising you. I am criticising the actions of someone with less life experience, who no longer exists (they have been replaced with the smart you).

          • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Well I tried and failed to find any other reason for your comment beyond plain spite. Maybe instead of trying to put others down you take a hard look at yourself, because you’re coming across as a complete piece of shit.

  • Vent@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Plenty of comments hurt my brain trying to comprehend how utterly stupid they are, but I don’t think there’s anything an anonymous stranger could say that would hurt my feelings, that kinda stuff needs to be personal.

  • Jeena@jemmy.jeena.net
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    1 year ago

    Didn’t really hurt but more like sting. I published a popular video and someone wrote they needed to switch from their usual 2x speed watching videos to 1x because of my accent.

    I get it, English is my 4th language so it won’t be very smooth. But I’ve been using it for 99℅ of my conversations since I moved to Korea 3 years ago and I feel I’m better in it than almost everyone I interact with here.

    • taaz@biglemmowski.win
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      1 year ago

      4th? Man that commenter owes you nothing, nada. You did your best and the rest is their problem.

        • sudo42@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Agreed. I’m convinced that most YouTube videos are slowed by 25%. The ones I watch are barely tolerable at 125% speed. I usually run them at 150%.

      • Jeena@jemmy.jeena.net
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        1 year ago

        Polish, German and Swedish. Now I’m learning Korean, not because I want to but because I moved to Korea and without it it’s difficult to do anything.

        That’s also why I had to learn the other languages other than English, because I moved to those countries.

    • HubertManne@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      goign from 2x to 1x is not really that bad of a thing. Hes saying he can understand you but not at an artificially high rate of speed. I personally don’t get watching things at multiple speeds but im someone who would rather read a doc overall.

    • Turun@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      I’m usually watching at 2.5-3.0 times speed. I turn down the speed either for A: entertainment (movies simply have a sort of pacing that is not so nice to interrupt (compared to any random YouTube video)), or B: because the content is sooo good and information dense that the limiting factor is no longer audio processing, but following the reasoning of the content. Those are the videos I love most.

    • sudo42@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You know 4 languages!?!?! That’s amazing. Don’t let anyone judge you because you’re not 100% in 4 friken languages.

  • anothermember@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    When I was a lot younger, on an old forum back in the early 00s, someone called me a “know-it-all”. This sounds silly now but it really hit me in just the wrong way at the time, I was sincerely trying to fit in by showing off my knowledge of the subject with no idea that that’s how I was coming across. I guess it was a learning experience.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    One time I said on Reddit that I really missed my high school boyfriend because he genuinely was the love of my life, and things were so bad in my marriage I sometimes thought I would do anything to have him back, and someone told me I was like the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I was just lonely and sad and feeling desperate. It was fucking mean.

    • Today@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’m sorry people suck sometimes. I hope you’re in a happier place now. High school boyfriends are the best what-ifs because you can assume they grew up, imagine their potential, and not have to see all their screwups.

      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It ended up being dumb because he had evolved into a Qanon type person looking him up on Facebook, but I was just sad for a feeling I once had. Thank you. I’m not really in a better place, and never tie your finances to a crazy person or you’ll never get free.

        • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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          1 year ago

          This guy I had a huge crush on in junior high tracked me down when I was in my 20s. I was thrilled at first, then learned he had turned into kind of a cultish religious nut. Instant turnoff.

          Then there’s my first true love from my early 20s. I can’t remember why exactly we broke up but we stayed in touch and even hooked up again some years later. Then we both got married and eventually lost touch. He reached out to me again recently, and I was hit by that same old feeling. But I realize it’s like what you said, it’s a feeling I once had. People change over the years – I sure have – and I know almost nothing about him now. Plus we’re both still married. Still flattering for me though.

    • Daft_ish@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      My wife wanted to say, in a loving way, that kinda is what the My Crazy Ex Girlfriend show is about. Also lots of music and kitchy themes.

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Displays of extreme ignorance or stupidity hurt me on an existential level; so yes, a lot of internet comments hurt me.

  • DieguiTux8623@feddit.it
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    1 year ago

    Once I was told that I deserved to be fired and, another time, I was told that I am unable to think properly so I shouldn’t work as a software developer.

    Both remarks were quite painful because they were not questioning my ideas/opinions but my professional abilities. I confess that in my “down” moments those thoughts tend to pop up even years later.

      • DieguiTux8623@feddit.it
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        1 year ago

        Needless to say, in neither case the discussion originated from a technical issue, both times we were arguing online about politics.

    • HubertManne@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      I just had someone say I should not be using a steambox because I feel swapping the ssd was not super easy? If you don’t know what a steambox is, it is a piece of consumer electronics (just fyi just in case). The fact someone thinks they can comment on your abilities to work your job based on one thing indicates they are likely not qualified to give that advice.

    • Daft_ish@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      I think it has less to do with the comment and more to do with how hard you are on yourself. Here’s a, not so secret; secret, a lot of successful people suffer from imposter syndrome. I know you probably know all this already but i am here to attest, I suck too at times, but that doesn’t mean I’m a sucky person.

  • Tagger@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Honestly, one comment, no. But I did stop playing online multiplayer games because the toxicity of the chat box made the experience frustrating and annoying instead of fun and I decided that it wasn’t causing the emotions I wanted to be having in my free time.

  • Persen@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    From my experience people on the sites (lemmy, etc.), are way kinder, more respectful and accepting, than people, I meet in real life. That might also be my problem as I’m autistic and find almost any in-person comunication confusing.

  • well5H1T3@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    disappointed, maybe. How can you allow a comment to hurt you?

    NEVER allow your happiness to be dependent of internet opinions mate! you will live a happy life.___

    • hperrin@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      That’s easy for you to say, but you don’t have their experience and you don’t feel their emotions. I agree that we should strive for that, but expecting everyone to just brush off everything is unrealistic.

      • well5H1T3@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It a tough world out here mate, you best guard up! Or the world just might swallow you whole.

        And don’t forget to be nice, cause sociopath is but a man in a process of changing :)

        If a dumb driver almost side-swap you while merging into the highway, give him way; he must really need to take a shit.

    • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      How can you allow a comment to hurt you? Easy, by being human and having feelings. Comments can’t hurt if you’re an empty husk of a person who has no feelings; if you’re hypervigilant about bracing for attacks; or if you never take a risk of being vulnerable and never share anything important about yourself. None of these options is particularly healthy. Having no feelings is a type of major depression, and living in fight-or-flight mode will lead you there, or to an early grave. The last option is at least reasonable online (but not in relationships), but not so easy in practice.

      A common theme in the responses here is the element of surprise, comments and criticism that blindsided the person by hitting them in a vulnerable spot that they didn’t know that they were exposing.

      That certainly comports with my experience in receiving hurtful comments.

      • well5H1T3@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Having no feelings is a type of major depression, and living in fight-or-flight mode will lead you there, or to an early grave.

        Guys… we’re talking about comments right? Cause I’m sensing deflection here.

    • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Or that of anyone else honestly.

      Your bad behavior/lack of communication, etc isn’t going to ruin my day. Don’t let it, stop thinking about it, move on. It’s their issue not yours.

  • Oka@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Yes.

    On a forum, I was complaining about a troll and his friend roasting something i made, they responded with a picture of a baby crying. Moderators did nothing. It ruined my week. I was like 16 at the time.

    • Daft_ish@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Damn, people are jerks.

      Edit:

      This is where I learn the thing they made was like a pride swastika.