Got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. On the way back to bed I accidentally tripped on a piece of furniture I didn’t see. When I turned on the light my pinky toe was bent in a right angle. Had to have it reset and taped up but since it was my right foot I couldn’t drive for several weeks. Every day I just thought how stupid and avoidable this whole mess was.

I missed the last step going down the stairs in my own home, landed flat with all my weight on one foot, and managed to break the heel bone right where all the bones come together in the middle of my foot.

I went to catch a falling board with my foot, turned out to be a plow blade. I still don’t understand how it didn’t shatter the bones in my toes.

I did a burpee and when jumping my feet back in towards my hands, they went too far and i kicked my own wrist. My toenail took a chunk of skin out of my wrist. So dumb.

i sneezed and it triggered a muscle spasms on my lower back that led to me being stuck in bed for two weeks.

it would happen again a year or so later when i reached for a glass of water and again; another year or so later; when i tripped on uneven pavement.

I was running, and pulled my back.

I tried to pick up a friend that was way heavier than me and I dropped him on myself, injuring my knees possibly forever

I had a door slam on my thumb in a dark room reaching for the lightswitch. Nail came off later that month

As a volunteer firefighter, I stepped over a hose in the dark and fell into a drainage ditch. Tore the ligaments in my ankle and chipped the bone.

I’ve dislocated my shoulder fourteen times, mostly in an innovative way each time.

Once, a friend invited me to play catch with a group. I came along for the socialization, but warned that if I threw anything that I would dislocate my shoulder and have to go to the hospital. He scoffed and said it wouldn’t happen. Somehow he convinced me it wouldn’t, so I threw the ball once, then immediately had to go to the hospital, as I had dislocated my shoulder.

Another time, my dad had to take me to the hospital, as I had been laying in bed and attempted to turn over, dislocating my shoulder.

I gestured energetically to someone to throw the next fruit to me to fruit ninja it and cut my hand on the knife

I was walking and dropped a paper I had just got from the printer and I bent down to get it and my back hurt so bad I had to stay bent over for like 15 minutes

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I was in a zero speed motorcycle accident with the ground. All I had to do was let go of the handlebars, but I didn’t. I had a death grip on the thing. Twisted my wrist pretty bad and it took months to heal. Somehow, twenty years later, I have re-injured it and have been waiting for it to heal all over again. No healthcare of course because lol america. Probably never healed right the first time. Probably won’t heal right this time either. Life goes on I guess.

Takeaway: Don’t try to “save” heavy things from the laws of physics. Just let it go!

I had to borrow a car, it was going to be a 20 minute round trip, person and I sit roughly the same way, so I didn’t think to adjust the seat. It wasn’t terribly uncomfortable, just not exactly right.

Ended up pinching a nerve in my back. Could barely move for 3 days, had to delay starting a job because of it.