Would you or would you not have a funeral for a toddler should they pass for whatever reason?

I was kinda shocked that my husband thought I was a monster for thinking it’s unnecessary.

The way I see it, you can’t be attached to the child until they’re old enough to display personality, which comes way later than the toddler stage; I just can’t see myself having any attachment before their personality develops. If this happened to me, I’d just chalk it up to a ~2 year time loss and go for another pregnancy. Thoughts?

  • remotedev@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

    you can’t be attached to the child until they’re old enough to display personality, which comes way later than the toddler stage; I ha just can’t see myself having any attachment before their personality develops

    If that’s how you feel, then that’s how you feel. I’m gonna hazard a guess that the vast majority of people, especially pregnant/miscarriage/parents do not feel this way.

    • bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 month ago

      This exactly. Everyone is free to grieve in their own way, but i would say for most expecting parents, the attachment starts way before the child is born.

      • Horsey@lemmy.worldOP
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        1 month ago

        Before they’re born

        That’s wild to me, but I guess understandable since there are pro life people out there.

        • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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          1 month ago

          I’m as pro-choice as anyone, but when a child is wanted and expected, you start imagining their future long before they’re born.

          • voracitude@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I think this is a very valid answer as to why someone would hold a funeral for a toddler. Funerals are for the living, and it makes perfect sense a parent might want to mourn the future their child never got to have.