5, 6, 9. Come on now.
1 already covers 2, and I have enough of 6. Happy all the time would probably turn me into an even lazier person. A little concern now and then keeps me engaged with the world.
1, 5, 9. Health, strength, $$$$$.
1 kills you because you need some fat to live
I think 5 and 9.
i don’t really want the rest.
Agreed, those are my only two choices as well.
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I feel like the first two are basically the same thing and are also asking for a monkey’s paw sort of scenario to happen.
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I don’t want to stop shopping because there are things I want that can’t be obtained for free.
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I’m not the tallest, but I don’t feel any particular need to be any taller.
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I don’t want my emotions regulated to always be happy, because then you basically never truly are.
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Followers are overrated and creepy.
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And I’d never want to forget an ex because I’d end up losing a lot of good memories in the process.
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5 only says you gain strength, controlling it may be a difficult task
5,6,9 easy.
Some are void if you are always happy.
Only need 6.
Ah, the simple bare necessities!
Yep. No need for anything else really.
1 & 2 are the same pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass which would be a real negative. In the same vein, “no more fat” taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.
If you read them kindly “dont gain weight from eating” means you will burn fat just day to day, eventually hitting equilibrium. “No more fat” means you won’t gain fat, so you can just eat excessively and youre at equilibrium. Neither affects you at a calorie deficit, and both do the same thing at a calorie surplus.
The way 2. is written is basically a death sentence.
What they presumably meant is “never exceed your ideal weight no matter how much you eat”
1 and 2 are definitely not the same
1 is much better all around, assuming that they mean you “instantly drop to an ideal body fat percentage” and not “all of the fat on your body disappears forever”
I prefer being the monkey paw in these scenarios. Way more fun and you can be creative.
Yeah, “Don’t gain weight from eating” would mean that any dieting you do would be permanent. You lose 1 oz, that 1 oz is gone forever.
Super easy to lose weight that way, but also, potentially risky in that you could unintentionally diet away all of your body fat and not be able to replace it.
Even if you’re a consistent overeater, you’re going to have days where you can’t hit your target and lose more weight.
Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.
You’d be lucky to make it to your mid 60s unless you started out very overweight and didn’t try to crash diet your way to “normalcy”.
Super strong likely means mass and/or density, which means more calories needed to maintain. Unless it’s some magic. Either way, that and money means you can eat until you’re happy. The only two pills I’d want out of those given.
2, 6, 9
Skinny, happy, and rich - perfect combo!
Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:
1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.
2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.
3 you’re banned from every store on earth.
4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.
5 but only in your dreams.
6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.
7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.
8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.
9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.
Ah yes my favourite trend of monkey paw: removing the fking benefit instead of giving side effects, while making things worse
Oh, right! The monkey paw does it to someone else most of the time, like “you get the money but someone else dies and the money is compensation or inheritance”
It’s more like conservation of karma. You get a thing you wanted at a price you weren’t prepared to pay.
Trying to follow those guidelines, I would guess the list would be something more like:
1: Nothing changes, the only difference is that if you would otherwise put on more body fat than you currently have, the excess fat gets turned to horrible uncontrollable diarrhea that hits with no warning, so now you have to be on a diet for the rest of your life or else you’ll shit yourself in public.
2: Has to spend the rest of your life eating more than you burn as any weight you lose would be permanently lost, which will eventually kill you unless something else kills you first. This is computed by your original weight, so even if you would be fine with 800 calories, you must consume your current maintenance calories every day for the rest of your life. (See: Steven King’s Thinner)
3: You are unable to purchase anything. Every transaction fails. If people do not feed you out of the kindness of their hearts, or failing that, you are unable to barter for goods and services, you will die of hunger and exposure to the elements.
4: You get 5cm taller. People start telling you how much they liked you the way you were and that they feel lesser about you now that you’re taller. The new people you meet often comment on how hot/sexy/great/beautiful you would be if only you were a little bit shorter.
5: You become super strong but your bones and tendons can’t keep up. Using your super strength is pussyfooting with permanent disability.
6: No, yours is right. “you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy” Banger. Spot on. No Notes.
7: Have many followers would be worse if it was just a cult of people who follow you everywhere you go. The only time you can be alone is in your own home, until they realize they can just break in.
8: Forget your ex lover but they forget you too. You eternal sunshine of the spotless mind each other
9: A lot of money but the people you love die. <- This was one of the original monkey’s paws, iirc.
2, 5, 9
The only one I could use would be 5.
If I had to pick 4, 5, 9 and donate the money.
I’d pick 9, 9, 9
I need a buzzfeed quiz to determine this
2, 6, 9
- Just 9.
5,6
