I’m sorry you went through all of that, it sounds terrible.
For anyone reading from the US, the system is a little different there. Treatment decisions would default to a health care proxy if a person is not competent (and like this poster said, that means unable to understand, ask questions, and articulate choices, not making bad choices). A health care proxy is different from power of attorney (in the US), check your state for forms to pick one. It’s always a good idea to have one declared and paperwork with your doctor, however if you don’t have one selected on paper, then default health care proxy is closest relative (spouse, then adult kids, then parents, then siblings, usually). If no health care proxy can be found, only then would the court system get involved and appoint a guardian.
In regards to the original posters question, involuntary commitment for a mental health issue may involve a competency determination, but is much more involved and needs to involve courts very quickly. In general only a 72 hour hold can be placed by a doctor without a court getting involved. It’s less common too, most people in inpatient mental health situations are in voluntary stays.
In addition to the ED which is always available if needed as a last resort, check your local area for mental health crisis lines and support. These are often a local group such as through a county and may be affiliated with mental health providers, can often even make home visits and quickly connect people with resources and advice on how to go forward.
We kinda assumed my dad would be her proxy as he’s her next of kin (they’ve been married 42 years) but we don’t have the system here. My dad in particular was upset that a third party stranger would make the medical decisions for mum if it came to it, not him. The only thing they did let us decide was whether they’d employ “heroic measures” on the two occasions when she very nearly died. They accepted our request that she not go to intensive care or be resuscitated - that’s something we had spoken about before and we were certain it was mum’s wish.
I’ve made my dad promise to write his advanced directive when this is over. Speaking as a daughter going through this nightmare right now, I would implore anyone over 50 or with serious health issues to write your advanced directive now or whatever the equivalent is in your country - or just have a conversation with your nearest and dearest about what medical interventions you want to have if you’re too ill to speak for yourself, if nothing else. This would have been an awful awful experience either way, but if she’d written an advanced directive or arranged power of attorney before this happened, at least we wouldn’t have this agonising “are we doing the right thing” question hanging over us too.
ETA: the Terri Schiavo case from the US is an example of why I think the court of protection/independent third party system is better than the automatic next of kin/proxy system you guys have. Although it’s been awful and initially insulting to experience, I completely understand why “take my word for it” isn’t considered adequate for medical decision making here. Before things deteriorated so suddenly, mum was saying wildly different things to my brother, then me and then my dad. Save your family this heartache - write your intentions out now while you’re well enough to do so.
I’m sorry you went through all of that, it sounds terrible.
For anyone reading from the US, the system is a little different there. Treatment decisions would default to a health care proxy if a person is not competent (and like this poster said, that means unable to understand, ask questions, and articulate choices, not making bad choices). A health care proxy is different from power of attorney (in the US), check your state for forms to pick one. It’s always a good idea to have one declared and paperwork with your doctor, however if you don’t have one selected on paper, then default health care proxy is closest relative (spouse, then adult kids, then parents, then siblings, usually). If no health care proxy can be found, only then would the court system get involved and appoint a guardian.
In regards to the original posters question, involuntary commitment for a mental health issue may involve a competency determination, but is much more involved and needs to involve courts very quickly. In general only a 72 hour hold can be placed by a doctor without a court getting involved. It’s less common too, most people in inpatient mental health situations are in voluntary stays.
In addition to the ED which is always available if needed as a last resort, check your local area for mental health crisis lines and support. These are often a local group such as through a county and may be affiliated with mental health providers, can often even make home visits and quickly connect people with resources and advice on how to go forward.
We kinda assumed my dad would be her proxy as he’s her next of kin (they’ve been married 42 years) but we don’t have the system here. My dad in particular was upset that a third party stranger would make the medical decisions for mum if it came to it, not him. The only thing they did let us decide was whether they’d employ “heroic measures” on the two occasions when she very nearly died. They accepted our request that she not go to intensive care or be resuscitated - that’s something we had spoken about before and we were certain it was mum’s wish.
I’ve made my dad promise to write his advanced directive when this is over. Speaking as a daughter going through this nightmare right now, I would implore anyone over 50 or with serious health issues to write your advanced directive now or whatever the equivalent is in your country - or just have a conversation with your nearest and dearest about what medical interventions you want to have if you’re too ill to speak for yourself, if nothing else. This would have been an awful awful experience either way, but if she’d written an advanced directive or arranged power of attorney before this happened, at least we wouldn’t have this agonising “are we doing the right thing” question hanging over us too.
ETA: the Terri Schiavo case from the US is an example of why I think the court of protection/independent third party system is better than the automatic next of kin/proxy system you guys have. Although it’s been awful and initially insulting to experience, I completely understand why “take my word for it” isn’t considered adequate for medical decision making here. Before things deteriorated so suddenly, mum was saying wildly different things to my brother, then me and then my dad. Save your family this heartache - write your intentions out now while you’re well enough to do so.