Probably twice. Both relating to colonoscopy prepping.

Based on my own research, which should not be considered scientific by any means:

Pants shitting frequency directly correlates to one’s personal level of alcoholism.

I’ve ulcerative colitis so in the last week probably 5-6 as I’ve had a flare up and was in hospital and couldn’t get to the toilet in time. Plus I had frequent diarrhea.

So I was feeling a bit under the weather and farted while in bed before getting up. It felt a bit wet but I ignored it. Turned out I basically shat myself and only realized after passing an interview that morning.

Nobody noticed or they just didn’t mention it, I ended up getting up the job so all ended up alright (except my self esteem)

A couple times over the course of adulthood. All were when I was sick and trusted a fart.

I can’t recall ever shitting my pants as an adult. Some farts that came with a little extra baggage, but no full on shits.

I did get terrible food poisoning or something on a backpacking trip and had a split second to react. I ripped my pants down and projectile shit in front of my backpacking peers. So I suppose I could have shit my pants then but I opted not to. I still agree with my choice, the embarrassment of shitting in front of them was better than hiking in shitty pants for miles, which still would have been embarrassing but also very uncomfortable and unhygienic.

Stomach flu

Never.

“Farted” in a Hotel bed, while arriving with a stomach flu. Was a business trip I couldn’t get out of.

Was quite embarrassing to try to wash everything in the shower, and left them a note and a tip.
Luckily it seems that deal worked out, as I still had to stay for 2-3 weeks and nobody mentioned anything.
But wasn’t fun… Especially while still having a fever and the bowels doing whatever…

Twice. Once very hungover and once with gastroenteritis. That’s less than once a decade, for perspective.

Probably a hundred.

99 of those times was when I had dysentery and had zero control over my bowels and took place over the course of like 3 days. I was literally bedridden and still having to muster the energy to get up every 5-10 minutes to shit… and sometimes, due to pure exhaustion or surprise, I just didnt act in time.

the other time was when I had an awful stomach flu and was literally forcibly drug out of my house by family who didnt believe I was sick until I shit in their car. Then they lost their minds over that

Twice, both related to my Crohn’s Disease.

The first was in preparation for my first colonoscopy, where I was told that I was only allowed clear broth, clear soda, coffee, and water for 24hr before taking the colon prep solution. I didn’t think the diet would give a mile-long headstart before the prep solution, so I enjoyed copius amounts of clear broth and coffee, which ran through me like a river, resulting in the mishap. The bathroom was only 10ft away from me, but it was still too far given the rapid pressure buildup.

The second was during an insurance conflict about my Crohn’s Medication, resulting in a flareup and multiple weeks of gut agony and loose stool. It got to the point where no flatulence was trustworthy, and I took a gamble because I was so tired of getting up to run to the restroom every time I felt something bubbling (10+ restroom visits a day, each at the slightest sign of stomach rumbling will do that to a motherfucker).

It is always humiliating, even when I am home alone, and I am hyper concious about the possibility, even when in remission. It fucking bites.

Twice that I recall, both while at least mildly ill. Once, in law school, I was late to class and had an assigned seat in the middle of a row, so I was not keen to draw further attention to myself, but I had a rumbly tummy and the bowel wants what it wants. Eventually, despite what felt to me like truly heroic efforts, I did in fact excuse myself, only to find that floor’s bathroom was closed. going down a flight of stairs does things to your regular clenching pressure, and by the time I made it to the toilet, “slug of poo” had made its way into my boxers. Damage to the undies was surprisingly mild, but I went ahead and called it a day for the rest of my classes, as I had skipped many times for far less legitimate reasons.

The other time I was just home with the shits and didn’t quite make it once. Afterwards I moved my “I’m sick” nest a lot closer to the bathroom for the rest of the day.

I was sixteen so in a bunch of states that counts as an adult for some situations. We were on a band trip to Disney World to march in the Main Street parade, and we stayed at a very cheap motel that had a very scummy pool. Being an idiot sixteen year old I jumped in.

First mistake.

That night I woke up vomiting, but because my band needed me and I didn’t want to miss a free trip to Disney World I toughed it out. I was queasy but okay by the time we got there, and was okay until everybody had to meet up by the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to go “backstage” to get ready.

I was sitting on the wall there, next to my girlfriend, surrounded by classmates, when I trusted a fart.

Second mistake.

I told the band director and waited until everyone went backstage, and then proceeded to DESTROY a staff toilet while listening to two guys put their makeup on and bitch about the other cast members. Then I went back to the motel for a shower.

I ended up marrying that girl, who is now my ex, and who makes my life miserable every time she can.

Third mistake.

Been an adult for a few decades now. And, never.