The closest word I can think of is a sycophant but that’s too strong word and not exactly what I’m looking for. The word I’m thinking of has negative connotations and it’s for someone who is friends with different groups but only at a superficial level and isn’t necessarily honest about who all they’re friends with. This person would be seen as untrustworthy.

  • Pat12@lemmy.worldOP
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    8 months ago

    If you’re friends with someone, wouldn’t you want to know if they’re also friends with someone problematic?

    • thantik@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      No. Because as a friend, it’s not my job to dictate my friends-friends. I’ve had plenty of friends that were friends with my enemies. I’ve had friends that were friends with ex-cons, etc. No problems.

      • Kanzar@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Ex-cons might not be the best group to use in your example…

        If I had a friend who kept the company of fascists, I’d probably drop them real quick - notably as the current iteration of fascists are intent on ensuring people like me are dead or ground under their boot.

        On the flip side, just because I had a disagreement with someone doesn’t mean other friends can’t be friends with that someone - it takes a lot to be called “an enemy” of myself.

        • thantik@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Why? If they’re Ex-cons, they’ve done their time and they deserve to be treated the same as everyone else.

          They’re a perfect group to use in my example.

          And there are very few actual fascists out there. If you’ve used that word more than twice this week, it might be a you problem.

          • Kanzar@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            It’s precisely that they should be treated the same that I don’t believe they make a good example as someone you wouldn’t want to be associating with.

            You shouldn’t care that mates of yours hang with ex-cons, so there is no conflict to be had there.

            I wasn’t remarking on the incidence rate of fascists, merely commenting on their views.

        • Dnn@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          If I had a friend who kept the company of fascists, I’d probably drop them real quick

          Not a good way to make them see reason. I know it’s hypothetical but if you’re friends shouldn’t you put in some effort to help instead of just drop them?

          • Kanzar@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            Given how out and proud the sentiments are expressed, the friend can’t say they didn’t know… I wouldn’t waste much time trying to have them see reason. You don’t accidentally join a dinner party where everyone else is a white supremacist, or an anti-vaxxer, or where everything they don’t like is woke and thus should be eliminated.

            Either way I said probably… Which would likely follow as certainly after an attempt to see if maybe they have been wilfully ignorant (still not a good look).

            • Dnn@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              You obviously don’t know how cults work. But that’s fine. I hope you’ll never lose a real friend to one.

                • Pat12@lemmy.worldOP
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                  8 months ago

                  Not a good way to make them see reason. I know it’s hypothetical but if you’re friends shouldn’t you put in some effort to help instead of just drop them?

                  you’re planning to spend time debating with a ziganwu? or if you’re western, a staunch far-left or far-right supporter or someone with very racist views?

      • Pat12@lemmy.worldOP
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        8 months ago

        I’ve had friends that were friends with ex-cons, etc.

        you do you but I would definitely want to know if my friends were close with people who’d been in prison. If I worked in a field where they do background checks i would absolutely need to know if my friends were friends with those in prison. There’s a difference between dictating who people are friends with and knowing who people you give information to are close with.

        • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Every where does background checks, these days. In any case we don’t really care about your friends; and outside of ts/sci type clearances, nobody runs checks that deep (or even has the ability to- you need to provide close contacts for them to run a check)

          • Pat12@lemmy.worldOP
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            8 months ago

            I live in Asia, if you tell the wrong person you are a democracy supporter you can get arrested or on a watch list

            • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              Surveillance states need not apply, but they’re still running checks for employment basically everywhere.

              In any case, political crimes (“democracy supporter”) are just more justification to not care, imo.

              • Pat12@lemmy.worldOP
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                8 months ago

                In any case, political crimes (“democracy supporter”) are just more justification to not care, imo.

                you are saying you want people to not care about who they share information with when they live under a state that will arrest you for many more reasons than someone in the west would expect?