• Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I am 46 and I have always felt this way. And trust me, I have been through a lot of pain, both physical and mental, and am still in that pain. I have trigeminal neuralgia and I have a separate, almost certainly unrelated, condition that I’m going to the Mayo Clinic for at the end of this month.

    I have felt 10 on the 1 to 10 pain scale multiple times. I have been so poor that I almost ended up homeless. And to top it off, I’m type II bipolar!

    I’m not saying all of this for pity, I’m just saying that despite all of that, I want to live as long as possible. Why would I want to die when there are always new and amazing things to learn about?

    Now, to be fair, I have also been suicidal in my life, but I realized almost too late that it wasn’t what I actually wanted to do. I think it required me to go there to figure out that if I could live as long as I chose to live, even if it was a thousand years, I would do it. Yes, I would want to die one day. But not until I wanted to.

    • Jay@lemmy.ca
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      8 months ago

      I think (for me anyways) the worst ones are eyesight and mobility. Both my kids are in their thirties and I do as much as I can to help them and work on my oldest’s house and vehicles, but once those things go out on me I’ll be about ready for the end.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        I understand that way of thinking. However, I think if that were me, I’d keep holding out hope for medical help for those conditions.