Why is my ass always itching?
Because you don’t wash it, you dumbass.
Soon. Soon.
Clean butt club!
fuck yeah
Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.
Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?
My wife blots with a bit of TP and tosses it in the trash can. Guessing plumbing is more sensitive where she’s from.
I keep some toilet paper too.
theres this thing called a towel. not sure if you’ve ever heard of it. theres also still toilet paper. you have two options at least, maybe even more.
My one has a heated fan to dry down there
I’ll never understand where the term “blowing hot air up my ass” as if it was a pleasurable thing came from. I find it to be foul, but turning my bidet blower down to the coolest breeze is refreshing AF.
Yes but now the towel has poo water on it
There’s no checkmate here. It’s already all figured out by the millions of bidet users over the last hundred years. My wife uses toilet paper, I prefer a small basket of washrags to blot the water away. The rag gets slightly damp and there is no visible poo (having been washed away already), but I’m not going to use it on my face after so if there are micro-particles I don’t care.
I’m a convert as of 7ish years ago. First one bathroom, then all bathrooms and the whole family vastly prefers over TP and even our previous favorite, baby wipes. Plus no waste, it’s really wins all around. Especially on the butthole.
Sit for a minute or two to air dry and then use a towel or few pieces of toilet paper to touch up any wet spot. Still much less toilet paper than if you didn’t use a Bidet.
Also some Bidets have actual blowers lol.
I have toilet paper for most of it and a fan to dry the rest of the way on mine.
Am
I am
Me
Bidet with a quiet-close toilet seat 🧑🍳💋
Auto lid, auto flush checking in.
Yes, I’m spoiled.
Wiping like a pleb when you travel and slamming the seat.
How appropriate to have posted it here. Are you cleaning up the hole place?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.
I wash my bum with liquid soap and my ass smells like strawberries all day. Hell yeah bidets
My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn’t know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?
Japanese toilets are so far beyond what we’re doing anywhere else in the world it’s not even funny
Wtaf have our toilet scientists been doing for the last century in the western world?
Trying to get people to sit the right way on the toliet.
It’s as easy as using two shells.
I remember it being a meme, but I couldn’t remember which one. For the uninformed like me: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
What’s the third one for
Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass.
Mom, dad, I’m gay. Also that heated toilet seat is amazing.
I’m using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it’s great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That’s because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
We’ve got one of those ones that attaches to a regular toilet, and I gotta say that it’s fucking wonderful.
However. The water pressure in our house can be kinda weird. Mostly it’s normal, but sometimes it’s like a jet washer for a few seconds. And those few seconds after you’ve first opened the bidet are like getting reamed out by a Karcher.
Bidets are amazing. If you don’t have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.
When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.
I honestly got used to the regular temp one. So much so that when I moved and the new house came with the fancier bidet, I just ended up using regular water every time.
I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
That said, I have no regrets.
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
I just shake my ass off like a dog coming in out of the rain
24/7, Orchard fresh, my dude. I’ve OPTIONS.
Stop kidding yourself
Missed opportunity on “Stop skidding yourself”.
I went to paper high school, then baby wipes college. Let me know when you get your PhD from bidet university, then we’ll talk.
🤣 Damn. I had to upvote this one.
Amateur hour.
Bottle of water. Wash with hand.
Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!
Nice for emergencies, but an actual bidet is like $10-20 and install takes less than 5min (10 if you count watching a YouTube on how to do it.)
