Bottle of water. Wash with hand.
Punch a hole in the neck of a small water bottle using a (hot) needle or a cork screw. Fill the bottle with water, close the lit and spray your ass by holding the bottle upside down and squeezing it. I used this 1$ Ghetto-Bidet for years!
I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF’s house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It’s just like taking a shower after every dump.
Yay, bidet!
“Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn’t one that’s not a problem.
Different enough that you don’t mind having shit smeared all around it?
Different enough that I’m fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That’s hardly “having shit smeared all around”. I’m regularly under the shower and that’s good enough for me.
I like the bidet’s we have at home, but I don’t get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper very well, so it’s all bidets with a stack of washed towels.
Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don’t get why you’d want that.
The one argument I’ve heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don’t like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that’ll get in their cootch.
“people with vaginas”, what a world we’re living in
A world with people? With vaginas?
Not all vagina-havers are women is the point you seem to be missing.
Yes, but the extremely vast majority are. I feel this is discriminating against women.
Delete this too.
bad opinion
Do you also think that saying “Happy Holidays” somehow excludes Christians?
Increasing the size of your umbrella doesn’t discriminate against the people who are already under it. It simply invites more people to join them.
What are you talking about?
People are afraid of saying “women”
No, that’s deleting your comment like a coward.
I asked you to answer the question, transphobe.
Still waiting for an answer, big guy.
Just kidding, we know it’s because you’re scared of queer people.
Scared? I couldn’t care less about what people dress
Then answer the question.
It’s not fear it’s just taking a bit of effort to be respectful and inclusive.
If someone gets mad because you just said women then yeah I’d agree that’s a bit much but taking a bit of time to be inclusive shouldn’t be something you’re upset about.
Why do you assume it’s fear that motivates people to use language that’s inclusive of trans and non-binary people?
I read Biden 😢
Skibidi Biden
Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(
Please send your prayers
Thought and prayers 🙏
I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary
How would you even manage to do that?
When you spray your asshole with a high pressure stream of water it sends flecks of poo into the air
That’s why you don’t use 100% pressure from the beginning. You ease into it.
Also, your 're sitting down so your butt is literally covering the water from getting splashed in the air.
No it doesn’t.
Then why is my whole bathroom covered in a fine layer of poo flecks? Checkmate
Because you’re standing up while you use it, for some reason.
I squat on top of the seat like everyone else
Ew its a bidet, not an enema dude
Not with that attitude, it isn’t.
Skill issue.
So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
Operator error.
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…
Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp
Yes and also mine takes 30+ seconds to properly clean so make sure you take your time.
Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing
That’s what I love about mine. Automatic lid raise and lower as you walk in, heated ring and water, (both adjustable temp), air dry, (again heated), and charcoal filtered air filtration to minimize the stench from that drive through burrito.
It’s the posh life. Very nearly the equal to having your own chamberlain.
Humm, I see you enjoy Toto. The king of home Bidets!
I got something like this for like 15 euros from a German shop but I’m sure you’ll find it everywhere. I payed a little extra for stainless-steel instead of plastics. It’s still incredibly cheap and my family uses it daily for years. I don’t need any more luxury.
If it’s tapped directly into the ice cold water line that sounds terrible. Gotta save up and spring for ceramic instant water heating.
Nah, it’s great, seriously. Saves me a cup of coffee in the morning. :)
This is the kind I have, and I will never not have one again.
Plastic doesn’t rust, sometimes it’s better. Even better if it let’s you adjust the spray width.
I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances
Even the cheap ones have a self clean setting. It just sprays water down the nozzle, and is between on and off. Turn it to that for a second and then off. Never had an issue. When I clean the toilet I use the same brush to glance over it, but really it stays clean on its own
Bidet causes vampirism?
Anyone got bidets to recommend (full toilets or kit to install on top of current toilets)?
I feel like most are really expensive and I wouldn’t want to waste money on something too expensive or something bad
I’ve had this for a year and no issues. Takes 5 mins to install and anyone can do it. $35 after tax. I think I got it for 27 or something last year. If you don’t like it after a while, you’re not out much. But Ive saved more than $35 in toilet paper since I’ve got it
Maybe that ones fancier, idk
I got a Brondell bidet from Costco for like $80. It’s just the seat and it’s pretty fancy slick with how it self cleans and hides/reveals itself while having no electricity going on. Just have to make sure that if you want hot water you’ll have to connect it to the sink waterline. I didn’t do that and the cold wasn’t a problem after a few uses getting comfortable.
Worst case just return it if you don’t like it.
I got my Brondell bidet from Amazon and it cost $20.
I got an $80 one from Home Depot. And it was the second best purchase i have made. It really didn’t have to be expensive… but i did try to buy one on Amazon… and it was designed to fail, so i recommend just going to get one at a store
Can also wash your ass in the shower.
You shower after every shit?
Yeah, but some people shit thrice daily.
Heck yeah!
If I got shit on my arm I would wash it with soap, there’s no soap in a bidet so I don’t get this argument
By that logic, why wash it off at all? Why do anything?
But with a bidet, you do have an option with soap since it can be rinsed (which I believe is the norm in my poor ass country, be it bidet or good ol’ dipper). I don’t normally wipe soap with a tissue.
Water > dry paper.
That’s true but if the argument is “deal with shit on your butt the same way you would deal with shit anywhere else on the body” then the logical conclusion would be to take a shower after every poo
The argument is “The common way of dealing with it is bad”. Doesn’t have to be perfect to be better.
I don’t know about you but I don’t wipe my anus on my face or use it to pick up food. No judgement though.
But I sit on my couch and bed, where I sometimes lay. I know there is a layer of clothing, but sweat is a thing.
Me either, but I would still prefer it to be clean.
🤌
