This concept is inherently flawed. There is no static form of ‘true’ self.
Who you are now is different from who you were five years ago, and who you are tomorrow will be different from who you are now. Who you are changes depending on who is in the room with you, because your relationship with that person changes the context of your actions and interactions.
This is not to say that personality or identity is fungible, but that it is not fixed and there is no end state (no goal).
We do tend to reflect and repeat behaviors that we observe, and I think there’s some truth in the idea that you become the average of the people you spend the most time with. With this in mind, think about who you feel most comfortable with in your life - the people who, when you spend time with them, you feel most at peace with yourself - then try to arrange your life to spend more time with those people.
In regard to “masking”, I’ll just point out that privacy implies that some things are not shared with others. Therefore, to have any privacy in your life some things must be hidden, including some thoughts, feelings and opinions. Having a private life is healthy and normal and doesn’t mean that you are suppressing your “true self”.
This concept is inherently flawed. There is no static form of ‘true’ self.
Who you are now is different from who you were five years ago, and who you are tomorrow will be different from who you are now. Who you are changes depending on who is in the room with you, because your relationship with that person changes the context of your actions and interactions.
This is not to say that personality or identity is fungible, but that it is not fixed and there is no end state (no goal).
We do tend to reflect and repeat behaviors that we observe, and I think there’s some truth in the idea that you become the average of the people you spend the most time with. With this in mind, think about who you feel most comfortable with in your life - the people who, when you spend time with them, you feel most at peace with yourself - then try to arrange your life to spend more time with those people.
In regard to “masking”, I’ll just point out that privacy implies that some things are not shared with others. Therefore, to have any privacy in your life some things must be hidden, including some thoughts, feelings and opinions. Having a private life is healthy and normal and doesn’t mean that you are suppressing your “true self”.
Like an onion, peel away all the layers and there’s nothing left.
Also, you will cry a lot while you peel.