They’ve taken any notion away that it was me who did the effort to take notice and reach out -> violation of autonomy
It feels like im just followimg orders and going with the motions (takes the joy out of it for me)
There’s not always an acceptance that I might feel different about that person so in effect they are asking me to use false words to convey false emotions and ideas (lie)
I run my relationships and I don’t tolerate other people pulling strings or triangulating.
Anybody who knows I haven’t had to find that out from someone (ie the person who’s birthday it is) which means I’m being managed and that person is creating drama over their birthday. They are pullijng me into a defect in themselves and the other person and expecting me to play along with that and be obedient/subservient.
I just really resent when this hapoens and I don’t allow people to continue to do it. If i have a genuine uncomplicated and active relationship with them, there’s no need for micromanagement cuz I will likely have a notification reminding me and I reach out for a quick message and thats the end of it. I also had a mother who was craving an opportunity to pick a fight and dominate you anytime you missed her ______ day so I react viscerally because its often fundamentally meddling with your autonomy and your relationships
The balance I’ve struck is ask if the day is over? Its not, so theres still time right? And then I end the discussion and I reach out at 11:59pm if I want to do so. If they make drama regularly for me about it they stop getting them. Nobody is entitled to your words or actions or time, it must be freely given and I’m getting better at recognizing that
“Nobody is entitled to your words or actions or time”. I ofcourse do not know the full context but that sounds like the porogative of the person the main post is about.
When marching to a just victory be aware of the trail you leave.
I have force quite relationships by pressing x goodbye and i have stopped talking to people. I only regret the force quit cuz i also coulda just not talked to him for a while and he could return someday.then there wouldn’t even be any stress.
there are times and places for people also tries to convey die or nothing mentalities may close doors, only to satisfy the need to be recognised.
I just mean I find it distasteful beause now
They’ve taken any notion away that it was me who did the effort to take notice and reach out -> violation of autonomy
It feels like im just followimg orders and going with the motions (takes the joy out of it for me)
There’s not always an acceptance that I might feel different about that person so in effect they are asking me to use false words to convey false emotions and ideas (lie)
I run my relationships and I don’t tolerate other people pulling strings or triangulating.
Anybody who knows I haven’t had to find that out from someone (ie the person who’s birthday it is) which means I’m being managed and that person is creating drama over their birthday. They are pullijng me into a defect in themselves and the other person and expecting me to play along with that and be obedient/subservient.
I just really resent when this hapoens and I don’t allow people to continue to do it. If i have a genuine uncomplicated and active relationship with them, there’s no need for micromanagement cuz I will likely have a notification reminding me and I reach out for a quick message and thats the end of it. I also had a mother who was craving an opportunity to pick a fight and dominate you anytime you missed her ______ day so I react viscerally because its often fundamentally meddling with your autonomy and your relationships
The balance I’ve struck is ask if the day is over? Its not, so theres still time right? And then I end the discussion and I reach out at 11:59pm if I want to do so. If they make drama regularly for me about it they stop getting them. Nobody is entitled to your words or actions or time, it must be freely given and I’m getting better at recognizing that
“Nobody is entitled to your words or actions or time”. I ofcourse do not know the full context but that sounds like the porogative of the person the main post is about.
When marching to a just victory be aware of the trail you leave.
I have force quite relationships by pressing x goodbye and i have stopped talking to people. I only regret the force quit cuz i also coulda just not talked to him for a while and he could return someday.then there wouldn’t even be any stress.
there are times and places for people also tries to convey die or nothing mentalities may close doors, only to satisfy the need to be recognised.